What Would You Do?

[Immanuel]

so he did what you told him was okay and now you resent him for it? that is hardly fair...
he may have used poor judgement in listening to you but he did....with that said....i would go....maybe sit in the car...i would not want to intrude on his last minutes with his parents...but i would lurk in the shadows just in case i was needed

Yeah, but those are the kinds of things we guys have to go through all the time.

Women... you simply can't please them!

I'm outta here!

Immie

 

[Sherry]

Your spouse gets a call at 2:00 a.m. calling them to the deathbed of one of their parents. You ask them if they want you to go. Your spouse, knowing how uncomfortable such situations make you and knowing that you would not want to stay until the end, says no, I'll be o.k. Do you stay home or go anyway?

Perhaps I should clarify why I'm looking for input. My father passed away three years ago on Christmas Eve. We lived the scene in the OP. I told him he didn't need to come with me. But now, I find myself resenting that he didn't. I know it's not at all fair of me to resent it since I told him he didn't need to come and I'm just trying to work through it. It's not like it can be changed now anyway, but I just wondered how others would react. Thanks for the input.

Well to give him credit, he did ask you if you wanted him to go. From his perspective, perhaps he didn't want you to worry about him feeling uncomfortable during your time of grief. Did he expect that you'd have other loved ones to lean on?? I'm going to assume that you didn't tell him there was no need to come, expecting him not to listen and do it anyway....men aren't really wired that way.

 

[Mr. H.]

Sort of off topic, but what the heck. Several years ago my best friend's mother was brought home to die. The family and grandkids were there and I offered to stop by with some food. It was a bit awkward but we all made the best of it.

She was on a bed in the family room (small house), with morphine pump click-clicking away.

I finally excused myself, walked over to her bed and gave her a hug. She took my hand and said "see ya".

At the cemetery I had this urge to turn around and look behind me. Just then big gust of wind blew up and I faced into it with my arms outstreched. It was neat.

 

[Ravi]

sigh....if he is a good guy in all other regards you should probably let it go.

 

[strollingbones]

vel are you stressing over things.....why are you thinking of this now?

 

[Douger]

I don't have a land line and the cell is turned off from 5 pm until 9 AM.I don't even know what the number is. I use it for outgoing calls only.I suppose my nicer half would find out by email.

 

[editec]

You go to support your spouse.