What do you think is the reason for me not being able to find a boyfriend

[HikerGuy83]

That makes it a big problem, then, because I am not about to approach a guy, either, especially not one that I find attractive. I'd literally pee myself, to be honest.

So, maybe try reaching out to someone you are not romantically attracted to, but feel safe with. I know many people who have life long friends because they dated (and while not attracted romantically) became very very very good friends.

 

[MayorQuimby]

What do you daydream about? That might be a clue as to what the problem is.

Stupid stuff, like going over new words that I have just learned (English is not my first language), making up all these scenarios in my mind about having a boyfriend and talking to him. And just thinking about stuff in general, all kinds of things, and the only thing they have in common is that they all have no point.

 

[MarathonMike]

To answer:

No. In fact, I hate the outdoors and sports in general. Also not into the whole clubbing scene, either. I spend almost all of my time online. The only way to meet men in real life that I can think of, is walking around in malls and grocery stores, and hope that a guy will come up to me and say something insincere about my shoes.




Well, I thought about moving to a smaller town, where there are more of the kinds of guys I want to date. Other than that I really don't have any ideas. Seems to me like men have almost completely disappeared from the surface of earth.

You could try the "Home Depot" method. Find a guy who is interesting and ask a question about some doo hicky. I hear that's a thing these days with other young women frustrated with the dating scene.

 

[MayorQuimby]

You could try the "Home Depot" method. Find a guy who is interesting and ask a question about some doo hicky. I hear that's a thing these days with other young women frustrated with the dating scene.

That's way too forward for me.

 

[Foxfyre]

Thanks for the good advice sir.

Btw, the bolded part is what I have heard, too, but honestly to me that sounds incredibly forward. I can't even handle it when a guy I find really attractive comes and sits next to me.

Then that's your problem hon and what you need to work on. Shy is okay and can even be endearing to some, but if you come across as antisocial they'll assume you aren't interested in even a conversation, let alone getting to know each other. You do have to be at least a little bit proactive. Or at least give people a chance.

But if you do all that other stuff with possibly meeting somebody as a secondary, not the primary, goal, you give yourself time to get to know people, get comfortable with them, you will be less likely to be off putting by being too much of a shrinking violet.

Good luck to you. Again I am convinced there is somebody out there for everybody who wants somebody.

(I am assuming you're the real deal and not a femme fatale putting us on. LOL.)

 

[MayorQuimby]

Then that's your problem hon and what you need to work on. Shy is okay and can even be endearing to some, but if you come across as antisocial they'll assume you aren't interested in even a conversation, let alone getting to know each other. You do have to be at least a little bit proactive.

But if you do all that other stuff with possibly meeting somebody as a secondary, not the primary, goal, you give yourself time to get to know people, get comfortable with them, you will be less likely to be off putting by being too much of a shrinking violet.

Good luck to you. Again I am convinced there is somebody out there for everybody who want somebody.

Thank you sir.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

Stupid stuff, like going over new words that I have just learned (English is not my first language), making up all these scenarios in my mind about having a boyfriend and talking to him. And just thinking about stuff in general, all kinds of things, and the only thing they have in common is that they all have no point.

You should rethink Mortimer. You are both the same level of boring.

You understand that, don't you? People, men and women are looking for the exciting and dynamic. Someone who posts online and daydreams about pointless stuff is never going to find a partner. Boring oozes out of you and it leaves a scent.

I'm not trying to be nasty or hurt you. Just be realistic. Change if you want someone.

 

[MayorQuimby]

You should rethink Mortimer. You are both the same level of boring.

You understand that, don't you? People, men and women are looking for the exciting and dynamic. Someone who posts online and daydreams about pointless stuff is never going to find a partner. Boring oozes out of you and it leaves a scent.

I'm not trying to be nasty or hurt you. Just be realistic. Change if you want someone.

No worries, no harm done. Maybe I will change myself by losing 8 more lbs and then walk around looking really helpless. I heard men like that.

 

[Natural Citizen]

Man. You're probably super horny all of the time, huh.

 

[WelfareQueen]

Aside from my looks, which, really aren't terrible. I am not saying I am hot, I am not, but I really don't think I am hideous, either. So I don't think it has to do with my looks.

So, based on the way I act, do you think there is something about me that puts men off? What do you think of me and my behaviors/personality? If you have any advice for me, what will it be? If I were an OK-looking woman in real life, would you date me based on my personality?

Thanks in advance

I do not know your age, but if you are under 30 most guys in that age range are a dud. If you find a man worthy of you and think he can hang with you as an equal go for it. If he isn't interested you really haven't lost anything.

 

[Orangecat]

Thank you and yes, I do hobbies. However they are all solitary. Eg, I like posting on online forums, reading, and daydreaming.

Maybe a yoga class or something of that nature? Even if you don't meet someone, you're improving your health.

 

[Seymour Flops]

Aye, sir.



But my hobbies are either solitary or it's like this one, where, yes there are technically men, but they are all thousands of miles away.

I actually went to a hardware store once, just walked around like an idiot, and no man paid any attention to me. Sometimes I really think I must be ugly.




See, this is what I have heard, too, and to be honest, I know it's good advice, but I just can't bring myself to live it. And I feel very guilty about it, too. I know I shouldn't be shallow, I know I shouldn't focus too much on a man's looks, but sometimes, I just want a guy that makes my heart beat really fast when I steal a look of him.

And I am probably not very picky, either. The kinds of guys I am attracted to are attractive enough to me, but are probably not considered hot or stud by a large segment of women. Although I really can't be sure.

I understand, completely. If a good looking guy is what you want, then my advice to find a not-so-good looking guy is useless.

So my next advice is you gotta find a hook. Keep looking until you find the guy that might be "out of your league," but there's something about you he goes for. My wife is way out of my league as far as looks go, but for reasons, I was exactly what she was looking for in a man, and I turned on the charm.

That's my other advice. Exagerate the charm. Watch women who act like stereotype sultry sexpots and act the same. Act like a hottie and some guys will forget that your really a plain woman pretending she's hot.

 

[MayorQuimby]

Man. You're probably super horny all of the time, huh.

Yes, sir.

And to make it worse, I still live at home. So, I can't even masturbate properly.

I do not know your age, but if you are under 30 most guys in that age range.are a dud. If you find a man worthy of you and think he can hang with you as an equal go for it. If he isn't interested you really haven't lost anything.

To be honest, I am not sure if I can handle a relationship with a man my age ( I am 46). Despite my age, I am actually very immature. I am also very un-accomplished, professionally speaking. I honestly don't see how a successful guy would want to talk to me.

Maybe a yoga class or something of that nature? Even if you don't meet someone, you're improving your health.

hmm

 

[whitehall]

If you are looking for excuses about your sex life you need to pick a different forum. Personally I suspect that you might really be a genetic man.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

No worries, no harm done. Maybe I will change myself by losing 8 more lbs and then walk around looking really helpless. I heard men like that.

No, they don't. Not even in a Hallmark movie.

What kind man do you want? What is he interested in? What does he look like? What are his interests?

 

[skye]

Are you a male or a female OP? or a trannie ??

 

[DGS49]

The young adults that I know who are single seem to have no trouble finding someone on social media. Unfortunately, I don't know the details.

 

[MayorQuimby]

I understand, completely. If a good looking guy is what you want, then my advice to find a not-so-good looking guy is useless.

So my next advice is you gotta find a hook. Keep looking until you find the guy that might be "out of your league," but there's something about you he goes for. My wife is way out of my league as far as looks go, but for reasons, I was exactly what she was looking for in a man, and I turned on the charm.

That's my other advice. Exagerate the charm. Watch women who act like stereotype sultry sexpots and act the same. Act like a hottie and some guys will forget that your really a plain woman pretending she's hot.

Hmm... I am not sure if I can successfully pull off being a sultry sexpot. I simply don't have what it takes, it's almost like asking a black person to be smart.

I am, however, very good at being completely insane though. Maybe I need to find a guy who finds that irresistible in a woman.

 

[Orangecat]

To be honest, I am not sure if I can handle a relationship with a man my age ( I am 46). Despite my age, I am actually very immature. I am also very un-accomplished, professionally speaking. I honestly don't see how a successful guy would want to talk to me.

Guys don't care how successful you are. We just want someone who isn't too crazy/jealous/manipulative. We really are rather simple creatures on many levels.

 

[CrusaderFrank]

Aside from my looks, which, really aren't terrible. I am not saying I am hot, I am not, but I really don't think I am hideous, either. So I don't think it has to do with my looks.

So, based on the way I act, do you think there is something about me that puts men off? What do you think of me and my behaviors/personality? If you have any advice for me, what will it be? If I were an OK-looking woman in real life, would you date me based on my personality?

Thanks in advance

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