What do you think is the reason for me not being able to find a boyfriend

[EvilCat Breath]

The one thing I have never had a problem with is finding men. They are everywhere.

 

[Seymour Flops]

You spend too much time on message boards, even if this is your only one.

If you want to find a boyfriend, you could do two things:

Find a hobby or interest that puts you in contact with men. If you go to bars, make them sports bars. Woodworking has its groups and they are mainly male, for example, while weaving, sewing, or crochet will be mainly old ladies, and blue haired college girls. Reptiles have their conventions with a good mix of males and females.

If you're a Republican, get active, and you'll meet guys.

My hobby, the sport of poker is heavily male, but many of those guys are not too financially stable.

Look past looks when seeking a romantic interest. Which may be easier said than done. If you cannot be interested in someone who is not a X on a scale of 1 to 10, then no point in forcing yourself. Make friends and be "self-sufficient" for the other.

 

[MayorQuimby]

I don't know anything about you, but you seem very down to Earth and not a Narcissist which is a big plus. Are you athletic or do you like the outdoors? I met my wife playing co-ed volleyball.

To answer:

No. In fact, I hate the outdoors and sports in general. Also not into the whole clubbing scene, either. I spend almost all of my time online. The only way to meet men in real life that I can think of, is walking around in malls and grocery stores, and hope that a guy will come up to me and say something insincere about my shoes.

As to the title of your thread.

You want a boyfriend.

You can't find one.

Maybe you should explore how you are going about trying to find one.

Well, I thought about moving to a smaller town, where there are more of the kinds of guys I want to date. Other than that I really don't have any ideas. Seems to me like men have almost completely disappeared from the surface of earth.

 

[HikerGuy83]

I know that men aren't as solely focused on physicality as we have painted them as, so, if that's the case, what do they look for then? I know that personality is always important. I just want to know how to attract men's attention without having stunningly good looks.

Again,

If a guy only likes you because of your hot body or looks, you don't want him anyway. Tell him to bugger off.

You seem bright, knowlegable and engaged in current events. Don't overplay your hand and come off as a know-it-all. The guy who likes that in a woman can spot it without it being broadcast. Humulity with those great qualities makes for a fantastic partner.

Do you enjoy physical activity or testing yourself physically (hikes, kyaking, biking....water skiing (without the sharks)?

 

[EvilCat Breath]

I know that men aren't as solely focused on physicality as we have painted them as, so, if that's the case, what do they look for then? I know that personality is always important. I just want to know how to attract men's attention without having stunningly good looks.




Interesting sir.

So, speaking about yourself, aside from looks, what do you look for in a woman?





You mean how we are both unbelievably adorable? Guilty of that, for sure.

lol

If you were unbelievably adorable you wouldn't be looking for a boyfriend. You would have several, all worshipping your adorableness.

 

[HikerGuy83]

Seems to me like men have almost completely disappeared from the surface of earth.

Like I said....mama's boys. Too busy at home (as in mom's home) gaming and texting with loser friends.

Have you tried internet match sites. I know it sounds strange, but I know people who have met because of them and they are doing quite well. Speed dating is also an interesting concept.

 

[JoeB131]

Aside from my looks, which, really aren't terrible. I am not saying I am hot, I am not, but I really don't think I am hideous, either. So I don't think it has to do with my looks.

So, based on the way I act, do you think there is something about me that puts men off? What do you think of me and my behaviors/personality? If you have any advice for me, what will it be? If I were an OK-looking woman in real life, would you date me based on my personality?

Thanks in advance

I didn't know you were female.

I know the hateful stuff you say about immigrants is probably a turnoff outside the Klan Rally.

 

[MayorQuimby]

You spend too much time on message boards, even if this is your only one.

Aye, sir.

If you want to find a boyfriend, you could do two things:

Find a hobby or interest that puts you in contact with men.

But my hobbies are either solitary or it's like this one, where, yes there are technically men, but they are all thousands of miles away.

I actually went to a hardware store once, just walked around like an idiot, and no man paid any attention to me. Sometimes I really think I must be ugly.

Look past looks when seeking a romantic interest. Which may be easier said than done. If you cannot be interested in someone who is not a X on a scale of 1 to 10, then no point in forcing yourself. Make friends and be "self-sufficient" for the other.

See, this is what I have heard, too, and to be honest, I know it's good advice, but I just can't bring myself to live it. And I feel very guilty about it, too. I know I shouldn't be shallow, I know I shouldn't focus too much on a man's looks, but sometimes, I just want a guy that makes my heart beat really fast when I steal a look of him.

And I am probably not very picky, either. The kinds of guys I am attracted to are attractive enough to me, but are probably not considered hot or stud by a large segment of women. Although I really can't be sure.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

To answer:

No. In fact, I hate the outdoors and sports in general. Also not into the whole clubbing scene, either. I spend almost all of my time online. The only way to meet men in real life that I can think of, is walking around in malls and grocery stores, and hope that a guy will come up to me and say something insincere about my shoes.




Well, I thought about moving to a smaller town, where there are more of the kinds of guys I want to date. Other than that I really don't have any ideas. Seems to me like men have almost completely disappeared from the surface of earth.

You watch wayyyy too much television. Turn off the Hallmark Channel, they are lying to you.

 

[Foxfyre]

Aside from my looks, which, really aren't terrible. I am not saying I am hot, I am not, but I really don't think I am hideous, either. So I don't think it has to do with my looks.

So, based on the way I act, do you think there is something about me that puts men off? What do you think of me and my behaviors/personality? If you have any advice for me, what will it be? If I were an OK-looking woman in real life, would you date me based on my personality?

Thanks in advance

I presume you are a woman?

I haven't interacted with you enough here to know how you interact with people. Most of the people I've first 'met' on line and then later in real life didn't surprise me. They were pretty much same person both places.

But I am one of these people that believes there is a significant other for everybody who really wants one. The best way to find that person is to be where they hang out and I don't recommend bars or night clubs or places like that to look for them.

Join a good church with a large enough membership to have a lot of different activities and take part in those activities. Join the singles club if they have one or join an adult Sunday School class and, when you figure out who is married and who isn't, try to unobtrusively sit next to the single guy you think might be interesting so you can strike up a conversation. It might work out or it might not. There's no way to know.

Join the church bowling league. Participate in as many activities as you can, especially mixed groups.

If you get involved in the women's stuff, sooner or later you'll have a chance to casually mention to somebody that you sometimes wish you could meet somebody. Then don't be surprised if that person makes it happen.

Or if church just isn't your thing find other ways to volunteer in your community.

If you make yourself a person others appreciate and enjoy being around sooner or later some guy is going to notice. Just make meeting that somebody the secondary goal so you don't appear needy--they hate that--and give it some time. Sooner or later I'm pretty sure it will happen for you.

 

[Orangecat]

Aside from my looks, which, really aren't terrible. I am not saying I am hot, I am not, but I really don't think I am hideous, either. So I don't think it has to do with my looks.

So, based on the way I act, do you think there is something about me that puts men off? What do you think of me and my behaviors/personality? If you have any advice for me, what will it be? If I were an OK-looking woman in real life, would you date me based on my personality?

Thanks in advance

No offense, but I assumed you were male. Such is the anonymity of the internet.
You seem nice enough. Gotta go out in the real world and find someone you have chemistry with.
Do you have any hobbies?
I met my current girl 4+ years ago at an estate sale. We both love finding treasures and flipping them for a profit.

 

[MayorQuimby]

Do you enjoy physical activity or testing yourself physically (hikes, kyaking, biking....water skiing (without the sharks)?

The answer is no. I hate all sports and outdoors stuff, which is probably a big part of it. Seems that a lot of guys are into outdoorsy, sporty stuff. But I really don't want to fake stuff in order to attract a guy. If a guy dates me because I like to go bike-riding when I in fact don't, dating him would be miserable I bet.

If you were unbelievably adorable you wouldn't be looking for a boyfriend. You would have several, all worshipping your adorableness.

Adorable can also be in behavior, it's not strictly about looks.

And believe, I have had many men do insane things due to my overwhelming, unreasonable adorable-ness.

I didn't know you were female.

I know the hateful stuff you say about immigrants is probably a turnoff outside the Klan Rally.

It's a small price to pay to make lefties like you cry.

 

[Rambunctious]

Any guy worth dating will not always feel comfortable approaching women... some men like myself have to be approached... call it shyness or out and out fear... but that's the case as I see it....

 

[Oddball]

Aside from my looks, which, really aren't terrible. I am not saying I am hot, I am not, but I really don't think I am hideous, either. So I don't think it has to do with my looks.

So, based on the way I act, do you think there is something about me that puts men off? What do you think of me and my behaviors/personality? If you have any advice for me, what will it be? If I were an OK-looking woman in real life, would you date me based on my personality?

Thanks in advance

How can you expect people to make such an evaluation, on such little-to-nonexistent information on and scant interactions with you?

 

[MayorQuimby]

I presume you are a woman?

I haven't interacted with you enough here to know how you interact with people. Most of the people I've first 'met' on line and then later in real life didn't surprise me. They were pretty much same person both places.

But I am one of these people that believes there is a significant other for everybody who really wants one. The best way to find that person is to be where they hang out and I don't recommend bars or night clubs or places like that to look for them.

Join a good church with a large enough membership to have a lot of different activities and take part in those activities. Join the singles club if they have one or join an adult Sunday School class and, when you figure out who is married and who isn't, try to unobtrusively sit next to the single guy you think might be interesting so you can strike up a conversation. It might work out or it might not. There's no way to know.

Join the church bowling league. Participate in as many activities as you can, especially mixed groups.

If you get involved in the women's stuff, sooner or later you'll have a chance to casually mention to somebody that you sometimes wish you could meet somebody. Then don't be surprised if that person makes it happen.

Or if church just isn't your thing find other ways to volunteer in your community.

If you make yourself a person others appreciate and enjoy being around sooner or later some guy is going to notice. Just make meeting that somebody the secondary goal so you don't appear needy--they hate that--and give it some time. Sooner or later I'm pretty sure it will happen for you.

Thanks for the good advice sir.

Btw, the bolded part is what I have heard, too, but honestly to me that sounds incredibly forward. I can't even handle it when a guy I find really attractive comes and sits next to me.

No offense, but I assumed you were male. Such is the anonymity of the internet.

No problem sir.

You seem nice enough. Gotta go out in the real world and find someone you have chemistry with.
Do you have any hobbies?
I met my current girl 4+ years ago at an estate sale. We both love finding treasures and flipping them for a profit.

Thank you and yes, I do hobbies. However they are all solitary. Eg, I like posting on online forums, reading, and daydreaming.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

Again,

If a guy only likes you because of your hot body or looks, you don't want him anyway. Tell him to bugger off.
Who lack
You seem bright, knowlegable and engaged in current events. Don't overplay your hand and come off as a know-it-all. The guy who likes that in a woman can spot it without it being broadcast. Humulity with those great qualities makes for a fantastic partner.

Do you enjoy physical activity or testing yourself physically (hikes, kyaking, biking....water skiing (without the sharks)?

Unfortunately, guys seldom look at women who lack the hot body and looks. They never find out that the girl has a great sense of humor and down to earth wisdom. Men are like fish. They see something shiny and wiggling, then they check it out.

The problem Quimby has no no one even swims close. If she wants a boyfriend she is going to have to remake herself in dramatic ways.

 

[MayorQuimby]

Any guy worth dating will not always feel comfortable approaching women... some men like myself have to be approached... call it shyness or out and out fear... but that's the case as I see it....

That makes it a big problem, then, because I am not about to approach a guy, either, especially not one that I find attractive. I'd literally pee myself, to be honest.

How can you expect people to make such an evaluation, on such little-to-nonexistent information on and scant interactions with you?

Hmm...so what are you saying sir? You want me to talk more?

 

[HikerGuy83]

The answer is no. I hate all sports and outdoors stuff, which is probably a big part of it. Seems that a lot of guys are into outdoorsy, sporty stuff. But I really don't want to fake stuff in order to attract a guy. If a guy dates me because I like to go bike-riding when I in fact don't, dating him would be miserable I bet.

Agree....nobody wants a phony.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

Thanks for the good advice sir.

Btw, the bolded part is what I have heard, too, but honestly to me that sounds incredibly forward. I can't even handle it when a guy I find really attractive comes and sits next to me.

No problem sir.



Thank you and yes, I do hobbies. However they are all solitary. Eg, I like posting on online forums, reading, and daydreaming.

What do you daydream about? That might be a clue as to what the problem is.

 

[MayorQuimby]

Unfortunately, guys seldom look at women who lack the hot body and looks. They never find out that the girl has a great sense of humor and down to earth wisdom. Men are like fish. They see something shiny and wiggling, then they check it out.

This has been my observation as well.

The problem Quimby has no no one even swims close. If she wants a boyfriend she is going to have to remake herself in dramatic ways.

Hmm..so how should I remake myself then?