Trump says he could beat LeBron in a dunk contest were if not for bone spurs!

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump escalated his war of words with LeBron James on Saturday by saying that he could defeat the N.B.A. star in a dunk contest were it not for bone spurs.​

​

“I’ve seen LeBron James on TV, and, quite frankly, I don’t think he’s very good at basketball,” Trump said. “The media is very unfairly biased in favor of him because he’s a Democrat, and I think it’s a disgrace.”​

​

“You look at LeBron and sometimes when he shoots the ball, it doesn’t go into the basket,” he said. “If I try to drink a glass of water and miss my mouth, it’s all CNN talks about.”​

​

Trump said that it was “very sad” that his bone spurs would keep him from showing off his slam-dunk form, which he called “poetry in motion.”​

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“Many people are saying that I’m better at dunking than that beauty LeBron,” he said. “A lot of very smart people.”​

​

At the N.B.A. bubble, in Orlando, James responded that he understood that the President’s foot woes would prevent him from participating in a dunk contest, but said that he would be happy to face Trump in a spelling contest.​

Trump Says He Could Beat LeBron James in a Dunk Contest If Not for Bone Spurs

“I’ve seen LeBron James on TV, and, quite frankly, I don’t think he’s very good at basketball,” Trump said.

www.newyorker.com

 

[playtime]

i swear i can't tell whether news stories are true or onion/borowitz stories these days... it didn't even occur to me this was fake.

#sadtimeswelivein

 

[harmonica]

LeBron [ Le--HAHAHHAAHHAAH ] is a racist white/cop/America hater

 

[MisterBeale]

wow. Sad sad sad.

They ought to let Borowitz go and hire someone from Bee or the Onion.

I am sure he probably writes for them b/c of connections. . .


. . . oh yeah, says he was president of the Harvard Lampoon in wiki. No wonder he can work there for years and years and so rarely come out with a satirical article that is humorous while the Bee and Onion put out hit after hit daily.

 

[DrLove]

wow. Sad sad sad.

They ought to let Borowitz go and hire someone from Bee or the Onion.

I am sure he probably writes for them b/c of connections. . .

. . . oh yeah, says he was president of the Harvard Lampoon in wiki. No wonder he can work there for years and years and so rarely come out with a satirical article that is humorous while the Bee and Onion put out hit after hit daily.

You like the Bee because it is RW satire - almost exclusively. They CAN be funny, but not as funny as Andy.

 

[MisterBeale]

President Xi Relieved To Find Out NBA Players Just Protesting Injustices In America

President Xi Relieved To Find Out NBA Players Just Protesting Injustices In America


"BEIJING—President Xi Jinping caught wind of protests going on in the NBA, and he reportedly thought his goose was cooked. Thinking the NBA was finally going to turn on him and expose his country's oppression of Christians, Muslims, Uighurs, and basically all of their citizens except the elite members of the Communist Party, Jinping started to freak out.

But then, Jingping breathed a sigh of relief when he was assured they were just protesting perceived injustices in the United States and not the much worse and more frequent injustices carried out by his regime.

"I was getting nervous there for a second when I heard they were going to be protesting police brutality, oppression, and racism," Xi said. "I literally do all of those things, you know? I thought for sure they were coming after me when I heard they were calling attention to systemic oppression and subjugation of other races. But I've been assured by my good friend LeBron that they will never speak up against injustices that make them some solid coin, like the ones here in China."

"Whew! Close one."

 

[MisterBeale]

wow. Sad sad sad.

They ought to let Borowitz go and hire someone from Bee or the Onion.

I am sure he probably writes for them b/c of connections. . .

. . . oh yeah, says he was president of the Harvard Lampoon in wiki. No wonder he can work there for years and years and so rarely come out with a satirical article that is humorous while the Bee and Onion put out hit after hit daily.

You like the Bee because it is RW satire - almost exclusively. They CAN be funny, but not as funny as Andy.

Satire is more funny when it reflects reality.

The one you posted? It doesn't reflect what is going on in the least, and no one could ever reasonably assume that Trump would ever claim that he could dunk, that is why it is just stupid.

Yes, a lot of time Borowitz is funny, now? Now, he is just grasping. . . I do pray he isn't just desperate and infected with TDS because the election is nearing and he is starting to see the writing on the wall. . .

 

[DrLove]

Satire is more funny when it reflects reality.

The one you posted? It doesn't reflect what is going on in the least, and no one could ever reasonably assume that Trump would ever claim that he could dunk, that is why it is just stupid.

Yes, a lot of time Borowitz is funny, now? Now, he is just grasping. . . I do pray he isn't just desperate and infected with TDS because the election is nearing and he is starting to see the writing on the wall. . .

Oh, I could TOTALLY see Trump claiming something that stupid. He does it every damn day!