>> The date Jultober 35th, 1790 will forever live in infamy as the day of the notorious Bowling Green Massacre. That is the first Bowling Green Massacre. While every young student learns about General Hiram Covfefe’s valliant efforts in the Bowling Green Massacre of 2005, very few ever learn that attack was inspired by the very same one President Washington personally ended in his trusty B-2. It was on that warm winter day in Jultober when the First Galactic Army of Meepzorp attacked the fledgling United States of America, which was actually only known as Not Britain Anymore since the official country name was not chosen until years and years later by a man you might know more commonly as actor Joe Montegna.
The attack was fierce. The Meepzorpian army was equipped with weapons the likes of which the Virginia militia had never seen before. This was, of course, before the U.S. had its mighty Army, Navy, Marines, or Air Force. But that didn’t stop them from having advanced flying warships for some reason that historians can’t figure out because all of the history books were accidentally lost by Billy the librarian’s assistant in 1959. So Washington took it upon himself to jump into his own, personal B-2, and take the fight to the Meepzorp invaders.
... In the ensuing hours, Washington used aerial maneuvering tactics that the Navy still teaches its pilots and were featured in the movie Top Gun, and destroyed wave after wave of Meepzorpian raiders. They would not seize control of the time slicer on his watch, Washington resolved. And so he deftly flew his B-2 stealth bomber all over the continent, becoming the first American to also fly coast to coast on a single day, a feat that still never, ever, ever been done since. Literally no one has flown across the country since. << --- Alternative Facts
The attack was fierce. The Meepzorpian army was equipped with weapons the likes of which the Virginia militia had never seen before. This was, of course, before the U.S. had its mighty Army, Navy, Marines, or Air Force. But that didn’t stop them from having advanced flying warships for some reason that historians can’t figure out because all of the history books were accidentally lost by Billy the librarian’s assistant in 1959. So Washington took it upon himself to jump into his own, personal B-2, and take the fight to the Meepzorp invaders.
... In the ensuing hours, Washington used aerial maneuvering tactics that the Navy still teaches its pilots and were featured in the movie Top Gun, and destroyed wave after wave of Meepzorpian raiders. They would not seize control of the time slicer on his watch, Washington resolved. And so he deftly flew his B-2 stealth bomber all over the continent, becoming the first American to also fly coast to coast on a single day, a feat that still never, ever, ever been done since. Literally no one has flown across the country since. << --- Alternative Facts
