Rob37
Silver Member
- Feb 4, 2017
- 2,148
- 262
- 95
- Banned
- #1
Prior to delving into this topic let me make a couple of disclosures. First, I am no fan of the music. Second, notwithstanding the foregoing admission I do think that GaGa is talented. She plays piano well, writes her own music, and has a very full voice (as opposed to a thin, little girl voice). I detest pop music. But I have heard much worse than Ga Ga.
Now to the topic. I find Lady Ga GA's sexuality to be confusing. Like any typical caveman, when I am confused I then become angry. The next step in this process in the caveman paradigm is to beat senseless the origin of my confusion and anger with a large club. However, I am an evolved caveman and do not wish to cause harm to anyone but myself, so I internalize my feelings and go to hours of ineffective therapy. But I digress.
To get to the point expeditiously I must ask you, the reader, to tolerate a bit of crudeness. When it comes to GAGA I don't know if I should want to screw it or not. I kind of think I do, but then my inner alarms go off. They are the same alarms that go off when you approach a chick in a bar then notice she is taller than you and has a larger shoe size than you. While you are not 100% sure she has a penis, you are about 99% Sure. So to resolve the matter you take him/her to the restroom and bang him/her in the butt then act like you just got anal off some bar skank. Everyone has a rectum, after all. WTF does it matter? But I digress.
But Ga Ga ... would I knowingly bang this while sober? Well, her face kind of looks like a girl, sometimes. Her ass is nothing spectacular. Not much up front. Makeup thick. I have heard her interviewed and it seems like she has a good personality. I know she does a lot of weird shit, but she is in show business and that is how they roll. Therefore, I don't hold the meat clothing against her.
What would my friends think if I banged GAGA? Obviously, it would be a trophy Screw because she is famous. But what if she was not famous? Ewwwwww... I think my buds would understand, but there would be no high-fives. The prevailing attitude would be something like, "Well, you did what you had to do. I am just glad it was not me." In other words, screwing a non-famous GaGa is the same as having a colonoscopy. Nobody want to do it, but we have to. I also think that it is also a good idea to repeatedly use an enema before both. But I digress.
If I cannot instantly decide if I would screw someone then I get uneasy. Most of the time it is easy. Men no, women maybe. Most women Yes, large unattractive women no. Bam! Done deal. There was a no thinking involved. But Ga Ga requires some thought. On paper I should want to banger her. But in reality... Uh... not so much.
After I become uneasy I them start to become angry. I feel like I am being fucked with, like Gaga knows what he is doing (Whoops, I mean "she") and is intentionally confusing people. I get even more angry. It is now time to call the therapist. Unfortunately the therapist will not see me because she is still upset that I removed my pants at our last session. Digressing again.
So, here is the Final Verdict. Would I bang Lady Gaga, famous or not famous?
Yes, I would bang Ga ga. I would do so even if she was not famous. If famous, I would brag and try to get ahold of some of her fortune. If not famous, I would bang and then never see her again. She is gross, not even a second tier chick. She is one of those chicks that when you CLEARLY look at her in real life (sober and after you blow your load) you just think "gross". Then when she starts talking about meeting up again and getting your phone number you get queasy and tell her that you have HIV so she will leave you alone. A non-famous Ga ga is a shameful, hard-up bang at best.
Despite all of GaGa's shortcomings the media puts her on a pedestal, implying that she is an Uber desirable woman. This is where the confusion begins. I am told one thing but I feel another. So I become angry at the media. But I am better than this and soon realize that I am really angry with myself.
I am angry because GaGa looks like a dude and I am assessing my sexual feelings for it. My anger stems from fear of being gay.
Ahhhh...! That is what it is!!! I have reached the root of the problem!! Society is using Gaga to try to turn us gay! This is all just a ruse!! Dress up a dude-ish looking New Jersey skank like a real chick and make her a sex symbol! Those rat bastards!!!
I have banged worse looking chicks than Gaga, so there is no reason to think that it will not happen again. I am not happy about it. It is just the way it is. At this point in my life, sex is just another physical need that has to be taken care of, like shaving or removing a mole. Chicks like Gaga exist so that we can fulfill these needs the way nature intended rather than with Blow-up dolls.
Sent from my iPhone using USMessageBoard.com
Now to the topic. I find Lady Ga GA's sexuality to be confusing. Like any typical caveman, when I am confused I then become angry. The next step in this process in the caveman paradigm is to beat senseless the origin of my confusion and anger with a large club. However, I am an evolved caveman and do not wish to cause harm to anyone but myself, so I internalize my feelings and go to hours of ineffective therapy. But I digress.
To get to the point expeditiously I must ask you, the reader, to tolerate a bit of crudeness. When it comes to GAGA I don't know if I should want to screw it or not. I kind of think I do, but then my inner alarms go off. They are the same alarms that go off when you approach a chick in a bar then notice she is taller than you and has a larger shoe size than you. While you are not 100% sure she has a penis, you are about 99% Sure. So to resolve the matter you take him/her to the restroom and bang him/her in the butt then act like you just got anal off some bar skank. Everyone has a rectum, after all. WTF does it matter? But I digress.
But Ga Ga ... would I knowingly bang this while sober? Well, her face kind of looks like a girl, sometimes. Her ass is nothing spectacular. Not much up front. Makeup thick. I have heard her interviewed and it seems like she has a good personality. I know she does a lot of weird shit, but she is in show business and that is how they roll. Therefore, I don't hold the meat clothing against her.
What would my friends think if I banged GAGA? Obviously, it would be a trophy Screw because she is famous. But what if she was not famous? Ewwwwww... I think my buds would understand, but there would be no high-fives. The prevailing attitude would be something like, "Well, you did what you had to do. I am just glad it was not me." In other words, screwing a non-famous GaGa is the same as having a colonoscopy. Nobody want to do it, but we have to. I also think that it is also a good idea to repeatedly use an enema before both. But I digress.
If I cannot instantly decide if I would screw someone then I get uneasy. Most of the time it is easy. Men no, women maybe. Most women Yes, large unattractive women no. Bam! Done deal. There was a no thinking involved. But Ga Ga requires some thought. On paper I should want to banger her. But in reality... Uh... not so much.
After I become uneasy I them start to become angry. I feel like I am being fucked with, like Gaga knows what he is doing (Whoops, I mean "she") and is intentionally confusing people. I get even more angry. It is now time to call the therapist. Unfortunately the therapist will not see me because she is still upset that I removed my pants at our last session. Digressing again.
So, here is the Final Verdict. Would I bang Lady Gaga, famous or not famous?
Yes, I would bang Ga ga. I would do so even if she was not famous. If famous, I would brag and try to get ahold of some of her fortune. If not famous, I would bang and then never see her again. She is gross, not even a second tier chick. She is one of those chicks that when you CLEARLY look at her in real life (sober and after you blow your load) you just think "gross". Then when she starts talking about meeting up again and getting your phone number you get queasy and tell her that you have HIV so she will leave you alone. A non-famous Ga ga is a shameful, hard-up bang at best.
Despite all of GaGa's shortcomings the media puts her on a pedestal, implying that she is an Uber desirable woman. This is where the confusion begins. I am told one thing but I feel another. So I become angry at the media. But I am better than this and soon realize that I am really angry with myself.
I am angry because GaGa looks like a dude and I am assessing my sexual feelings for it. My anger stems from fear of being gay.
Ahhhh...! That is what it is!!! I have reached the root of the problem!! Society is using Gaga to try to turn us gay! This is all just a ruse!! Dress up a dude-ish looking New Jersey skank like a real chick and make her a sex symbol! Those rat bastards!!!
I have banged worse looking chicks than Gaga, so there is no reason to think that it will not happen again. I am not happy about it. It is just the way it is. At this point in my life, sex is just another physical need that has to be taken care of, like shaving or removing a mole. Chicks like Gaga exist so that we can fulfill these needs the way nature intended rather than with Blow-up dolls.
Sent from my iPhone using USMessageBoard.com
