The most unintentionally funny Cheese Metal band

[Red Dawn]

where to start? So many to choose from....so many wigs, and so much spandex. Cinderalla, Poison, Nelson, White Snake.


My personal favorite, for the sheer hilarity, was Winger.

First off, that lead singer. Kip. Kip? Who the fuck is really named Kip?

Then, there's his 500 dollar hairdo. Or wig. Never could figure that which it was.

then there were the videos. What the hell was that little ballarina twirl, Kip was always doing? That little piroette with his bass, twirling around like he was gayer than Larry Craig?

 

[manifold]

I'll give you Nelson and Winger, but the other three all had a few good tunes that still hold up IMO.

 

[Shogun]

yea, i dont care what people say Cinderella was a damn good bluesy rock band.


Winger though... sheesh.. I kid you not, I picked up 2 winger vhs tapes for pure cheese enjoyment about 10 years ago. That was some of the funniest shit i've seen in a long time. After, I had to go watch Pantera's Vulgar videos just to wash out my mind.


1. left handed drummer freak me out a little.

2. metal and pirouette "spin and drop" dancing should never have been as closely associated.

3. although Winger didn't start the practice of matching amazing guitar players with shitty bands during the glam metal years they sure as hell perfected the art of making that combination a failing venture.


I submit almost everyone interviewed in the Decline of Western Civilization: The Metal Years who was not already in a signed band.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqSPYcYnHs0&feature=related]YouTube - The Decline of Western Civilization Part 2 (1/10)[/ame]

 

[xotoxi]

.

 

[Shogun]

ok. I admit it. I rocked out to the first Slaughter tape in 6th grade.

 

[xotoxi]

ok. I admit it. I rocked out to the first Slaughter tape in 6th grade.

I had the tape around the same time. I actually bought the CD around 5 years ago, and it is still in my truck today. Sometimes I'll listen to it.

Does that make me a queefbag?

 

[manifold]

Slaughter was ok, but they were no Dokken!

 

[Shogun]

no, it makes you the byproduct of the almost decade long disposable nature of our culture that loves to find something to identify with only to discard after we emulate the shit out of the innovators and move onto the next big thing to fall into. Good music can be found in almost any genre regardless of how fashionably dead the style might become. yet, the same thing happened with glam metal just as it did with grunge just as it did with punk just as it did with...

 

[Shogun]

Slaughter was ok, but they were no Dokken!

Dokken Sucken.

Interviews: Lynch at 50: George Lynch looks ahead with lessons from the past - Sea of Tranquility - The Web Destination for Progressive Music!

 

[manifold]

don't forget all the prog rock wannabes that blow chunks.

Although for me the jury is still out on Dream Theater. I just can't decide if they're really really good, or totally fucking lame. It's the most perplexing thing.

 

[Shogun]

don't forget all the prog rock wannabes that blow chunks.

Although for me the jury is still out on Dream Theater. I just can't decide if they're really really good, or totally fucking lame. It's the most perplexing thing.

Dream Theatre sucks jolly green giant dick. They had one single offering that got barely mediocre airplay, pull me under, and everything else became fodder for fanboys the likes of which make mac fiends and star wars junkies look like pussy getting first string quarterback jocks. Not only is their entire premise as a band just inane but the outright presumptuous attitude by each member is enough to make me smile that they are not even a footnote in most modern music influences. Dream theater is like the angry little nerd who expects to baffle you with bullshit (fucked up time signatures from out of the blue, pirate shirt equivalent melodies and the outright expectation of worship at their G.I.T. feet) rather than dazzle you with brilliance.


Notice, the longer they remained a band the MORe covers THEY had to play of other bands' songs... not the other way around.


Dream Theater sucks the giant peroxide bleached nutsack of the outright emulation of a muscial genre they tried to ride all the way into the bargain bin CD rack.

 

[DiamondDave]

I Give you...

Steelheart

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62Nb9oYTAqQ[/ame]

 

[Shogun]

I think we have a winner

 

[xotoxi]

I think we have a winner

Oh yeah!

Steelheart clearly read the 80's Hair Band rule book from cover to cover.

 

[manifold]

These guys were only about a half a decade late...

[youtube]ZYUjDi0xKPQ[/youtube]

 

[Shogun]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY0dVF9LoZw]YouTube - Firehouse - Don't Treat Me Bad[/ame]

 

[xotoxi]

These guys were only about a half a decade late...

Another good one.

I find it funny how the lead singers from all the 80s hair bands always sounded the same.

But, likewise, grunge/alternative bands also sound the same, like Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, Creed, and Staind

 

[manifold]

What about Wasp?

I was never a big fan, but I wouldn't necessarily lump them in with the shit pile either.

 

[Shogun]

These guys were only about a half a decade late...

Another good one.

I find it funny how the lead singers from all the 80s hair bands always sounded the same.

But, likewise, grunge/alternative bands also sound the same, like Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, Creed, and Staind

indeed.. innovators and emulators. happens every time. it's one of the reasons I refused to wear flannel in the 90s.

 

[manifold]

indeed.. innovators and emulators. happens every time. it's one of the reasons I refused to wear flannel in the 90s.

And the better the innovators, the lamer the emulators.