[Here's a little cutie in the same vein as the semi news, semi satire article "As GM, the Twinkie, and the Snoball go, so goes the nation" Obama's panderpalooza, like the "Caissons just keep rolling along." "Diversity and MultiKulti killed the Twinkie"]
"Remember when the adage used to be “As GM goes, so goes the nation.” I guess that’s (unfortunately) still true, butt now we may have Hostess to add to the axiom: As the Wonder bread goes, so too goes the nation.
LetÂ’s review: a few years back the Health Police declared Wonder bread, while basically nutritious, not healthy enough to pass their new rigorous requirements for what THEY want you to eat (fiber). So even though there is nothing wrong with white Wonder bread, other than it tastes good, and even though it has served as the anchor of sandwiches that fueled the work day of AmericaÂ’s workers and students for generations, Hostess felt compelled to mix it up a bit.
What else can you do when Health Police edicts give preference to other breads that arenÂ’t as white? The Hostess company began to give into the self-loathing that sprang from the continual onslaught of allegations that their bread was responsible for all thatÂ’s wrong with America. They were accused of causing everything from impoverished, underperforming inner city schools kids to the national diabetes epidemic. In addition, their unions accused them of being greedy capitalists making money off the backs of the working class. The self-hate began to take its toll. The shareholders voted to try something new, hoping the CHANGE would increase their approval ratings and thereby increase the value of their stock. So they expanded their product line:
They began offering everything from plain old white to 100% Whole Wheat and every shade in between.
Public pressure to stop eating white bread altogether continued until Won day, Wonder Bread lost itÂ’s foothold with the enlightened class altogether:
Wonder Bread may be losing its, well, wonder. When it comes to sliced bread, shoppers are spending more on whole wheat than white for the first time. Though white is still slightly ahead in volume, at 1.5 billion packages sold in the last year to 1.3 billion of wheat, that gap is shrinking. And in dollar sales, wheat crept up 0.6% in the last year, to $2.6 billion, while white dropped 7%, to $2.5 billion.
Although I should note that the 100% whole wheat bread is still a tough sell because some people simply refuse to wean themselves completely from the bread that brought them this far. Butt for those who believe the proclamations of the Health Police and donÂ’t want to be accused of being narrow-minded when it comes to their eating habits, the bread of choice seems to be made from a 50/50 blend of white and whole wheat flours. It doesnÂ’t taste as good, their cholesterol levels and weight have gone up slightly due to the sugars and fillers used to make it more acceptable on the palate, and it cost a lot more, butt theyÂ’re convinced theyÂ’re doing the right thing, so theyÂ’re sticking with it.
Being a mirror, IÂ’ll be the first to admit that I donÂ’t really get the whole concept of self-loathing; everyone that peers into my reflective glory seems to love themselves.
Butt as I understand it, the psyche of self-contempt has something to do with a self-image generated exclusively by other peopleÂ’s concept of who/what you should be instead of who you actually are, and your subsequent inability to live up to it. IÂ’m afraid this psychological malady might in part be responsible for the demise of Hostess.
Sure, the companyÂ’s largest union, the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers International Union (BCTGM), has to shoulder some of the responsibility, having initiated the nationwide strike after rejecting an offer made through bankruptcy court. Butt in addition to the years of union demands that crippled the company's profitability, so too did the companyÂ’s foray into politically correct diversity. They began offering so many new colors and flavors of the day, hoping to attract new customers, that they confused the old customers. They bought something thinking it was another thing and ended up being so disenchanted with the product that they finally stopped buying Hostess altogether and went for Little Debbies.
Allow me to state my case: I reflect, you decide:
What started out on the bread line moved quickly into every other division of Hostess. First to be “improved” in the delicious snacks division was the iconic white Snoball:
Apparently white ones were no longer good enough, so they stared to make pink, blue -even lavender Snoballs! Thankfully, however, no yellow....."
Michelle Obama's Mirror: Hostess: they just knead a little more dough
