The Changing Landscape of Love, Marriage, and Procreation

DGS49

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2012
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We all know people who flout the customary family social sequence, which goes more or less like...
  • Meet someone you like,
  • Decide to get married,
  • Get married,
  • Engage in reproductive acts, then
  • Have children.
They (we) engage in reproductive acts with casual acquaintances, have kids outside marriage, etc. Brave new world.

I recently received a hand-written envelope from an address that I recognize from my Christmas Card List. I cynically opined to my wife my prediction about the communication in the envelope: "Send money; details below."

But as world-wise as I am, I was a bit surprised by the details.

The card was from my wife's cousin (a widow). Her son is a physician, in his late 30's. We were aware that he is "seeing" a female physician with whom he works. The card was an invitation to my wife and I to attend what for all the world seems to be the modern equivalent of a Baby Shower. Come to the country club, bring a baby-oriented gift, don't bother to wrap it. We'll feed you.

Back in the dark ages when I was young(er), a baby shower was an event at which friends and relatives of a young couple having their first child would help them out. In most cases the couple was relatively impecunious, so the shower of gifts would relieve some of the financial burden of having that first kid.

There have been several cases in my wife's family where the Grandmother-to-be took it upon herself to shower the couple with baby-gifts, to save them the trouble of having a shower. The implication being, the couple doesn't need to stoop to "begging" for gifts.

Whatever.

But two practicing physicians? Are you shitting me? For one thing, two prosperous professionals having a child out of wedlock is a legal faux pas. It is asking for trouble later. Shit happens. Are they not committed to one another?

As a practical matter I am obliged to go, and to bring a gift, and to be pleasant about the whole thing. I'm used to being phony.

Ever seen anything like this?
 
  • Meet someone you like,
  • Decide to get married,
  • Get married,
  • Engage in reproductive acts, then
  • Have children.

Not even Doris Day went that way ...

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We all know people who flout the customary family social sequence, which goes more or less like...
  • Meet someone you like,
  • Decide to get married,
  • Get married,
  • Engage in reproductive acts, then
  • Have children.
They (we) engage in reproductive acts with casual acquaintances, have kids outside marriage, etc. Brave new world.

I recently received a hand-written envelope from an address that I recognize from my Christmas Card List. I cynically opined to my wife my prediction about the communication in the envelope: "Send money; details below."

But as world-wise as I am, I was a bit surprised by the details.

The card was from my wife's cousin (a widow). Her son is a physician, in his late 30's. We were aware that he is "seeing" a female physician with whom he works. The card was an invitation to my wife and I to attend what for all the world seems to be the modern equivalent of a Baby Shower. Come to the country club, bring a baby-oriented gift, don't bother to wrap it. We'll feed you.

Back in the dark ages when I was young(er), a baby shower was an event at which friends and relatives of a young couple having their first child would help them out. In most cases the couple was relatively impecunious, so the shower of gifts would relieve some of the financial burden of having that first kid.

There have been several cases in my wife's family where the Grandmother-to-be took it upon herself to shower the couple with baby-gifts, to save them the trouble of having a shower. The implication being, the couple doesn't need to stoop to "begging" for gifts.

Whatever.

But two practicing physicians? Are you shitting me? For one thing, two prosperous professionals having a child out of wedlock is a legal faux pas. It is asking for trouble later. Shit happens. Are they not committed to one another?

As a practical matter I am obliged to go, and to bring a gift, and to be pleasant about the whole thing. I'm used to being phony.

Ever seen anything like this?

Baby oriented gifts ain't all that expensive, you can get by for less than 50 bucks for something decent. Dinner at a country club, in a party atmosphere? That's gonna run you at least a C-note, and you can take your wife with you for the same gift, so even more savings. Be a phony, enjoy the free meal and possibly free drinks. A night out with the spouse for the cost of a baby toy? Why not? Cheap dates can be fun with the spouse.
 
We all know people who flout the customary family social sequence, which goes more or less like...
  • Meet someone you like,
  • Decide to get married,
  • Get married,
  • Engage in reproductive acts, then
  • Have children.
They (we) engage in reproductive acts with casual acquaintances, have kids outside marriage, etc. Brave new world.

I recently received a hand-written envelope from an address that I recognize from my Christmas Card List. I cynically opined to my wife my prediction about the communication in the envelope: "Send money; details below."

But as world-wise as I am, I was a bit surprised by the details.

The card was from my wife's cousin (a widow). Her son is a physician, in his late 30's. We were aware that he is "seeing" a female physician with whom he works. The card was an invitation to my wife and I to attend what for all the world seems to be the modern equivalent of a Baby Shower. Come to the country club, bring a baby-oriented gift, don't bother to wrap it. We'll feed you.

Back in the dark ages when I was young(er), a baby shower was an event at which friends and relatives of a young couple having their first child would help them out. In most cases the couple was relatively impecunious, so the shower of gifts would relieve some of the financial burden of having that first kid.

There have been several cases in my wife's family where the Grandmother-to-be took it upon herself to shower the couple with baby-gifts, to save them the trouble of having a shower. The implication being, the couple doesn't need to stoop to "begging" for gifts.

Whatever.

But two practicing physicians? Are you shitting me? For one thing, two prosperous professionals having a child out of wedlock is a legal faux pas. It is asking for trouble later. Shit happens. Are they not committed to one another?

As a practical matter I am obliged to go, and to bring a gift, and to be pleasant about the whole thing. I'm used to being phony.

Ever seen anything like this?
Hell, Jesus's Momma's Daddy wasn't a human nor was he married to her when he knocked her up.
 
A secondary issue is the venue. Can you go to a country club and bring a $50 gift? I think not.

Anything worth less than three digits would be quite embarrassing for the donor. Remember the gifts will not be wrapped.
 

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