As a not lonely at all middle-aged widower, my advice is this:
- Get fit and become a "DILF" -- IME, the key to middle-aged social "success" on a personal-companionship level starts with this.
- Do a "deep cleansing" facial every three weeks for three months then switch to a "maintenance" facial once a month thereafter.
- "Wash that grey right outta your hair" -- Grocery store method or salon method, makes no difference which.
- Do regular manicures and pedicures -- DIY or salon version; makes no difference which.
Do all that and you'll be fit, youthful looking, and well groomed, and in turn, unless you have absolutely no "game" (that's really hard to "do" as middle aged guy or gal) you will not be lonely anymore. Why?
- Young women find hot and fit middle-aged guys preferable to many guys their own age.
- Middle-aged women swoon over understated and confident guys their age who look like fit twenty-to-thirty-something guys
Succinctly: everybody likes nicely wrapped gifts.
While you're in the process of getting "DILF-fit," get out of the house and go to places where the women you like tend to be and where you are interested in being for one reason or another. For me, that means conferences, lectures, symposia, art openings, the clubs (social and fitness) to which I belong, fundraisers, performing arts events, certain sporting events, and swanky bars. Whatever places you and they like are the right places for you. A divorced acquaintance of mine likes bowling and the loud rock and roll nightclubs one finds on Sunset Blvd.
The point is that to find companionship, one must be social and socially desirable. To do the first, one just needs to get out more. Getting fit and well groomed makes one look socially desirable and one's "game" is what confirms that one indeed is.
How long will it take to get "nicely wrapped?" Well that depends on where one is when one starts. For the typical somewhat pudgy middle-aged dude who is "balls to wall" serious about reaching "DILF-level wrapping," it'll take about eight months. So if one starts now and does the aerobics, weight training and very strictly adheres to a diet designed to complement the objective of "looking great naked," come summer when it's time to hit the beach, one is very likely to be just fine.
Just as a point of reference, what's "DILF-level?" It's fit, but not ultra-fit like a collegiate athlete. Trying to think of a celebrity whom one might have heard of and who is 50-something,
Ian Ziering (mid-50s) or
Sean Penn come to mind as what one will look like in about two years, and
Dennis Quaid is about what a typical middle-aged guy who started tomorrow can expect come this summer. (What do I mean by "typical middle-aged guy" fitness level?
Bruce Springsteen as seen here.)
Biggest challenges one'll face in getting "DIlF-fit":
- Sticking to the diet it'll take to make it happen.
- Maximizing the benefits of weight training without injuring oneself.
To get maximum results, I suggest working five days a week with a personal trainer. I know of one "celebrity grade" trainer who doesn't charge "celebrity grade" fees. (Reply in the thread to this post that you want to know who it is, and I'll PM with a link to his website.)
One doesn't have to work with a trainer (and it's hard to find excellent ones), but a trainer will make a huge difference with the weight training and general body strengthening parts of a fitness regimen. Also, an excellent trainer will develop a diet plan -- including caloric intake quantities, ratio of fat, carb and protein -- for you and take you to a grocery store and teach you how to shop so you can choose foods you like to eat and that work with the diet plan. All the information one needs for the diet is on the WWW, but one must find it oneself and make sense of it and figure out how to apply it to one's own situation and goals. (There's a reason we like experts. It's no different with fitness.)
One other huge benefit to getting "DILF-fit," in addition to helping one's social life, it'll do wonders for one's health, which, with rising healthcare/insurance costs and old age being "just over the horizon," is well worth doing now because it's very hard to "get fit" when one is in fact old.
