Sometimes Being a Dad to a Teen-Ager is SO Hard..

[IndependntLogic]

Yeah, it hurts when you can't do anything to console an offspring. Parenting...toughest job in the world.

It's also volunteer.

You people wanted to have rug rats and now you whine about how hard it is.

Wow. I feel really sorry for anyone who writes a post that reveals so much. I hope whatever pain such a post is rooted in, is eased for you.

 

[IndependntLogic]

So last year my daughter tried tennis and decided she liked it. Dad's an advanced player. I worked with her for a couple months and she loved it. Then she made the team at school as an alternate.
She worked SO hard over the summer! She would practice every day after school (I volunteer as a coach) and then we would practice after practice and on week-ends. This year at age 14, she's a starter on a High School Tennis team that has made regionals or better every year. They worked hard, played hard and made Regionals again this year. And it rained. And Rained. (In Vegas!). So she had to play one match this morning and they won! But then an hour later, they had to play Sectionals (the next level up) with a team that finished their Regionals last week. 3 matches per girl. Our girls had to play 6 matches each, in one day.
It was tied all the way to the end and the last match bieng played was my daughter against an 18 year old who's been playing over 10 years. She got the lead... and then lost.
Geez I'm practically crying just typing this. Even though 7 other girls on her team lost their matches, the pressure was all on my daughter. EVERY girl and coach was watching when she lost.
I told her how proud I was of her and all the usual dad love's you and is proud of you etc... but the poor thing was just inconsolable and finally cried herself to sleep.

GEEZ IT'S TOUGH BEING A DAD SOMETIMES!

Okay, enough venting. Time for a glass of 18 year old Single Malt...

Sounds like it was a good one. Well, sounds like your girl is a competitor. Shell be back. just remind her that she did her best.

Today, the first thing she asked me what time we're going to train today. We talked about it and decided to take a day off. We have a lot of homework to do and we have to study for two tests on Monday. Honors classes are friggin' harder than I remember them being in my day! Still, the character of that girl makes me so proud.

 

[Skull Pilot]

Yeah, it hurts when you can't do anything to console an offspring. Parenting...toughest job in the world.

It's also volunteer.

You people wanted to have rug rats and now you whine about how hard it is.

Wow. I feel really sorry for anyone who writes a post that reveals so much. I hope whatever pain such a post is rooted in, is eased for you.

Ah, once again the presumption that those who choose not to have children harbor some deep rooted psychological pain.

I do however get sick of hearing how hard it is to have kids. You volunteered for the job so stop whining about it.

 

[strollingbones]

o dear skull....whining about kids is 50 % of parenting

 

[Skull Pilot]

o dear skull....whining about kids is 50 % of parenting

More like 95%

 

[strollingbones]

o listen to you....and yet like a moth to the flame.....

why did you open this thread? you know its parenting anx? so why did you open it?

 

[Skull Pilot]

o listen to you....and yet like a moth to the flame.....

why did you open this thread? you know its parenting anx? so why did you open it?

Because whiners annoy me.

 

[strollingbones]

so you like to be annoyed?



seems its a self inflicted thing

 

[Skull Pilot]

so you like to be annoyed?



seems its a self inflicted thing

What else is an internet forum for?

 

[strollingbones]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo]MC Hammer - U Can't Touch This - YouTube[/ame]

 

[California Girl]

"We learn as much from defeat, as we do from victory". My Dad.

 

[IndependntLogic]

It's also volunteer.

You people wanted to have rug rats and now you whine about how hard it is.

Wow. I feel really sorry for anyone who writes a post that reveals so much. I hope whatever pain such a post is rooted in, is eased for you.

Ah, once again the presumption that those who choose not to have children harbor some deep rooted psychological pain.

I do however get sick of hearing how hard it is to have kids. You volunteered for the job so stop whining about it.

You obviously lack much in the way of depth, if you think that anyone wants or expects parenting to be easy all the time. Additionally, you seem unable to grasp the concept that sometimes there is joy in pain. The parents who read the post knew immediately that although the moment was painful, the experience was one that will be treasured because of the tempering of the steel of character that I was privileged to witness. Parents, am I right?
Whereas you have such resentment toward those of us who have something you clearly don't understand, you actually see it as whining. Pitiful. Your resentment further blinded you to the spiritual connection of sharing such moments among those who have had similar experiences.
So you're angry, resentful, hostile and from your threads, perhaps a bit regretful. I'm sorry. I hope that your life without children is every bit a rich and rewarding as the lives of those who have them.
If I saw a thread about the pain of rose gardening, I wouldn't even open it. I simply don't care and not having roses is something I'll never have doubts about. But you might ask yourself why you go out of your way to attack the experience of being a parent, if you really don't care.

 

[IndependntLogic]

"We learn as much from defeat, as we do from victory". My Dad.

There is something very special about the father-daughter relationship and it sounds like you and your dad had it.
Your dad was absolutely right. I was really athletic and to this day, can beat most 20-somethings on the court. But I never got better playing those I could beat. I never developed more determination from the matches I won.
My daughter asked me to take her out for training yesterday - one day after a big loss and only two after the most devastating loss she's ever had in her young life.
First words out of her mouth?
"Okay dad. I want you to be even tougher on me from now on."
I shake my head in awe of that little girl!

Oh, and I'm glad we can find something to agree on! THAT was easy!

 

[Skull Pilot]

Wow. I feel really sorry for anyone who writes a post that reveals so much. I hope whatever pain such a post is rooted in, is eased for you.

Ah, once again the presumption that those who choose not to have children harbor some deep rooted psychological pain.

I do however get sick of hearing how hard it is to have kids. You volunteered for the job so stop whining about it.

.
So you're angry, resentful, hostile and from your threads, perhaps a bit regretful. I'm sorry. I hope that your life without children is every bit a rich and rewarding as the lives of those who have them.

And you're condescending and self righteous. And I have no regrets. And if your life with children was so rewarding how come you're whining about how hard it is?

If I saw a thread about the pain of rose gardening, I wouldn't even open it. I simply don't care and not having roses is something I'll never have doubts about. But you might ask yourself why you go out of your way to attack the experience of being a parent, if you really don't care.

I didn't attack anything. All I said was that you volunteered for the job so stop whining about it.

I've found that most people I ask can't even tell my why they wanted to have kids other than the programmed get married raise a family mantra that has been beaten into their heads.

It's just like most things in life. People just move along with the currents of society under the delusion that they are doing what they really want to do.

So you probably really don't even know why you wanted to have kids and probably didn't have a plan for raising them and you wonder why it's soooooo hard.

 

[IndependntLogic]

Ah, once again the presumption that those who choose not to have children harbor some deep rooted psychological pain.

I do however get sick of hearing how hard it is to have kids. You volunteered for the job so stop whining about it.

.
So you're angry, resentful, hostile and from your threads, perhaps a bit regretful. I'm sorry. I hope that your life without children is every bit a rich and rewarding as the lives of those who have them.

And you're condescending and self righteous. And I have no regrets. And if your life with children was so rewarding how come you're whining about how hard it is?

If I saw a thread about the pain of rose gardening, I wouldn't even open it. I simply don't care and not having roses is something I'll never have doubts about. But you might ask yourself why you go out of your way to attack the experience of being a parent, if you really don't care.

I didn't attack anything. All I said was that you volunteered for the job so stop whining about it.

I've found that most people I ask can't even tell my why they wanted to have kids other than the programmed get married raise a family mantra that has been beaten into their heads.

It's just like most things in life. People just move along with the currents of society under the delusion that they are doing what they really want to do.

So you probably really don't even know why you wanted to have kids and probably didn't have a plan for raising them and you wonder why it's soooooo hard.

Well again your post reveals much.
I've known I wanted to have kids since my late teens / early twenties. I'm really great with kids and I learn so much from them! They live in the moment. Their minds are truly open. Their souls are pure. Their laughter is genuine. They love everyone they meet without condition.
So I own my firm and have the time and wherewithal to devote to my daughter. To be there for her when after trying SO hard to walk, she falls on her butt and cries. A joyful moment, filled with tears. To be there for her when exactly like me, she discovers the first crush in 6th grade, likes someone more popular. A joyful moment, filled with tears. To be there for her when she loses her first big match.
It's like describing colors to a blind man. If you had any clue at all, you would know that none of the parents here are ever whining when we talk about these things. We're sharing joyful moments shared with tears. A concept you obviously can't grasp.

The fact that you can't help but come to this thread, can't help yourself and return again and again, reveals something. You can't help but label empathy and connection as "whining" and talk about parents as suffering from "delusion", yet claim you don't attack? Right. It's about character. You come to threads like this needing to convince yourself that you're right about something. You're sure not conving anyone else. And you don't have the character to admit you're wrong about parents or anything else for that matter.
Or maybe you do have that kind of character - care to show me a thread where you wrote to someone that was vociferously disagreeing with you, that you were wrong and they were right?

So keep coming back. Again and again. And tell us all how much you don't care about kids while talking about them. Again and again.
Like I said, if I saw a post about rose gardens, I wouldn't even respond. I don't care about rose gardens.

 

[High_Gravity]

I think Skull Pilot was smart not to have kids, its hard as hell.

 

[IndependntLogic]

I think Skull Pilot was smart not to have kids, its hard as hell.

I agree. It's like starting a successfull business or winning in a sport or any other worthwhile venture. There are a lot of people who can talk about business but few who can do it. There are a lot of people who can catch a football but few who are willing to keep their eye on it and their arms up, when they hear the sound of a linebacker thundering toward their ribs (yes, I was a skinny wide receiver in HS).
It's a matter of tempering the steel and realizing the deep rewards that accompany both success and the inevitible failures.
A friend of mine was an olympic ice-skating coach. She told me something 25 years ago that I still remember: "You can tell the ones that aren't going to make the team. They never fall down."
Last night me and Erica did speed drills for 30 minutes, Total Power shots for 30 minutes, then she played a set with a 20 year old friend of ours (won in tiebreak), jogged the mile back home, did bicycles, crunches, leg lifts, dips and arm weights. Took her about eleven seconds to fall asleep.
What a champion! She's working so hard..... that I'm in the best shape of my life!

 

[High_Gravity]

I think Skull Pilot was smart not to have kids, its hard as hell.

I agree. It's like starting a successfull business or winning in a sport or any other worthwhile venture. There are a lot of people who can talk about business but few who can do it. There are a lot of people who can catch a football but few who are willing to keep their eye on it and their arms up, when they hear the sound of a linebacker thundering toward their ribs (yes, I was a skinny wide receiver in HS).
It's a matter of tempering the steel and realizing the deep rewards that accompany both success and the inevitible failures.
A friend of mine was an olympic ice-skating coach. She told me something 25 years ago that I still remember: "You can tell the ones that aren't going to make the team. They never fall down."
Last night me and Erica did speed drills for 30 minutes, Total Power shots for 30 minutes, then she played a set with a 20 year old friend of ours (won in tiebreak), jogged the mile back home, did bicycles, crunches, leg lifts, dips and arm weights. Took her about eleven seconds to fall asleep.
What a champion! She's working so hard..... that I'm in the best shape of my life!

I think having a child is a big investment, you are putting alot of time and energy into another person to help them succeed, and sometimes the results are mixed. Its risky business.

 

[IndependntLogic]

I think Skull Pilot was smart not to have kids, its hard as hell.

I agree. It's like starting a successfull business or winning in a sport or any other worthwhile venture. There are a lot of people who can talk about business but few who can do it. There are a lot of people who can catch a football but few who are willing to keep their eye on it and their arms up, when they hear the sound of a linebacker thundering toward their ribs (yes, I was a skinny wide receiver in HS).
It's a matter of tempering the steel and realizing the deep rewards that accompany both success and the inevitible failures.
A friend of mine was an olympic ice-skating coach. She told me something 25 years ago that I still remember: "You can tell the ones that aren't going to make the team. They never fall down."
Last night me and Erica did speed drills for 30 minutes, Total Power shots for 30 minutes, then she played a set with a 20 year old friend of ours (won in tiebreak), jogged the mile back home, did bicycles, crunches, leg lifts, dips and arm weights. Took her about eleven seconds to fall asleep.
What a champion! She's working so hard..... that I'm in the best shape of my life!

I think having a child is a big investment, you are putting alot of time and energy into another person to help them succeed, and sometimes the results are mixed. Its risky business.

No doubt and I certainly don't think everyone should be a parent. I've seen people that made me think "Why?".

 

[High_Gravity]

I agree. It's like starting a successfull business or winning in a sport or any other worthwhile venture. There are a lot of people who can talk about business but few who can do it. There are a lot of people who can catch a football but few who are willing to keep their eye on it and their arms up, when they hear the sound of a linebacker thundering toward their ribs (yes, I was a skinny wide receiver in HS).
It's a matter of tempering the steel and realizing the deep rewards that accompany both success and the inevitible failures.
A friend of mine was an olympic ice-skating coach. She told me something 25 years ago that I still remember: "You can tell the ones that aren't going to make the team. They never fall down."
Last night me and Erica did speed drills for 30 minutes, Total Power shots for 30 minutes, then she played a set with a 20 year old friend of ours (won in tiebreak), jogged the mile back home, did bicycles, crunches, leg lifts, dips and arm weights. Took her about eleven seconds to fall asleep.
What a champion! She's working so hard..... that I'm in the best shape of my life!

I think having a child is a big investment, you are putting alot of time and energy into another person to help them succeed, and sometimes the results are mixed. Its risky business.

No doubt and I certainly don't think everyone should be a parent. I've seen people that made me think "Why?".

Alot of people don't know about the sacrifice until the baby is here, and than its too late.