Singles bar

[Andylusion]

Thats what I'm doing pretty much.

And hows it working for ya?

I mean other than the hook ups....

So/so, get laid every month or so but nothing meaningful, the thing is last time I tried to actually date a girl and show interest, brought flowers, paid for the meal etc she ended up friend zoning me and I was pissed, I thought we had chemistry and looked good together but shes not for me. I promised myself that would never happen again.

I'm not sure that's a good take away. Yeah, it hurt to do that and end up finding out she wasn't interested.

But saying that you are not going to try for the right kind of relationship, just means you'll end up with the empty meaningless relationship forever.

The good things in life are hard. No one got to a good place, without going through the difficult and challenging parts, and I wager that Marriage with a good woman, is no different.

If the really good stuff in life was all easy, and painless, everyone would have million dollar homes, six-figure incomes, and absolutely wonderful marriages. Right?

 

[WelfareQueen]

Thats what I'm doing pretty much.

And hows it working for ya?

I mean other than the hook ups....

So/so, get laid every month or so but nothing meaningful, the thing is last time I tried to actually date a girl and show interest, brought flowers, paid for the meal etc she ended up friend zoning me and I was pissed, I thought we had chemistry and looked good together but shes not for me. I promised myself that would never happen again.

I'm newly single HG (about 8 months). Wasn't really looking and an amazing woman came into my life. Keep the faith....you never know.

 

[High_Gravity]

And hows it working for ya?

I mean other than the hook ups....

So/so, get laid every month or so but nothing meaningful, the thing is last time I tried to actually date a girl and show interest, brought flowers, paid for the meal etc she ended up friend zoning me and I was pissed, I thought we had chemistry and looked good together but shes not for me. I promised myself that would never happen again.

I'm not sure that's a good take away. Yeah, it hurt to do that and end up finding out she wasn't interested.

But saying that you are not going to try for the right kind of relationship, just means you'll end up with the empty meaningless relationship forever.

The good things in life are hard. No one got to a good place, without going through the difficult and challenging parts, and I wager that Marriage with a good woman, is no different.

If the really good stuff in life was all easy, and painless, everyone would have million dollar homes, six-figure incomes, and absolutely wonderful marriages. Right?

You are right, its just that when you put yourself out there for another person you make yourself vulnerable, its just so risky. I'm not saying I'll never do it again but I'd like to at least know the other person is at least interested, but unfortunately its never that easy people are rarely upfront about their feelings.

 

[AyeCantSeeYou]

You are right, its just that when you put yourself out there for another person you make yourself vulnerable, its just so risky. I'm not saying I'll never do it again but I'd like to at least know the other person is at least interested, but unfortunately its never that easy people are rarely upfront about their feelings.

That's true. I no longer put myself out there because of being hurt too many times. Every person has a breaking point, and when they hit it, they give up. (Which is what I've done.) I'd rather be single than be someone else's doormat any day! It really isn't worth it.

 

[Diana1180]

I keep saying I give up...but I never do lol.

I continue to go on dates when asked but I am very gaurded. I have no problem being single..and as Aye said.. i would rather be single ..than settling.

Someday that ever elusize honest and charming guy will come along. ;-)

 

[AyeCantSeeYou]

I keep saying I give up...but I never do lol.

I continue to go on dates when asked but I am very gaurded. I have no problem being single..and as Aye said.. i would rather be single ..than settling.

Someday that ever elusize honest and charming guy will come along. ;-)

those only exist in fairy tales and stupid love songs - which all lie.

 

[WelfareQueen]

You are right, its just that when you put yourself out there for another person you make yourself vulnerable, its just so risky. I'm not saying I'll never do it again but I'd like to at least know the other person is at least interested, but unfortunately its never that easy people are rarely upfront about their feelings.

That's true. I no longer put myself out there because of being hurt too many times. Every person has a breaking point, and when they hit it, they give up. (Which is what I've done.) I'd rather be single than be someone else's doormat any day! It really isn't worth it.

Aye....


I say this as a friend....not grooving.....


You are a beautiful woman. To the extent I know you, any man would be lucky to have you in their life. Your choice how you want to proceed....but you are as deserving of love as anyone. And you should never have to be anyone's doormat. EVER.

 

[Diana1180]

I keep saying I give up...but I never do lol.

I continue to go on dates when asked but I am very gaurded. I have no problem being single..and as Aye said.. i would rather be single ..than settling.

Someday that ever elusize honest and charming guy will come along. ;-)

those only exist in fairy tales and stupid love songs - which all lie.

Dont burst my fantasy bubble damn it! ;-)

 

[WelfareQueen]

I keep saying I give up...but I never do lol.

I continue to go on dates when asked but I am very gaurded. I have no problem being single..and as Aye said.. i would rather be single ..than settling.

Someday that ever elusize honest and charming guy will come along. ;-)

those only exist in fairy tales and stupid love songs - which all lie.

Dont burst my fantasy bubble damn it! ;-)

There are many good men out there...just as there are women. All of these issues (Children, Marriage, etc.) really boil down to faith.

Because all of us have had bad experiences should not damage your faith. I have known many good people of both genders. I sure all of us have.

They are out there.

 

[Andylusion]

So/so, get laid every month or so but nothing meaningful, the thing is last time I tried to actually date a girl and show interest, brought flowers, paid for the meal etc she ended up friend zoning me and I was pissed, I thought we had chemistry and looked good together but shes not for me. I promised myself that would never happen again.

I'm not sure that's a good take away. Yeah, it hurt to do that and end up finding out she wasn't interested.

But saying that you are not going to try for the right kind of relationship, just means you'll end up with the empty meaningless relationship forever.

The good things in life are hard. No one got to a good place, without going through the difficult and challenging parts, and I wager that Marriage with a good woman, is no different.

If the really good stuff in life was all easy, and painless, everyone would have million dollar homes, six-figure incomes, and absolutely wonderful marriages. Right?

You are right, its just that when you put yourself out there for another person you make yourself vulnerable, its just so risky. I'm not saying I'll never do it again but I'd like to at least know the other person is at least interested, but unfortunately its never that easy people are rarely upfront about their feelings.

Well... I have to agree with you completely on that. Women have a nasty tendency to never say what they mean, because they don't want the confrontation. But when they don't say it, then guys are left confused about whether they should simply try harder, or give up. You end up with wasted emotion, time, and of course money.

I understand that. So I know where you're coming from. I've seen it happen several times.

Unfortunately, this is exactly why for centuries, the families would set up couples to date. The parents of the guy, would meet the parents of the girl, and discuss if the girl was interested, and if she wasn't they'd move on and find someone who was. If she was, then they would arrange meetings and courtship.

Now, parents kind of shoo the kids out the door during college, and good luck, hope you find someone, and this stuff happens.

I had a co-worker from Somalia, and this was crazy. He told his parents he didn't want to be single anymore, and asked them to find him a girl. They sent him some picture of several women, and he picked one and started talking to her over skype. Sure enough, he flew back to Somalia, and came back a married man. (and she was a wowzer too) Not much for Somalie girls, but she was A+ with some extra credit...

If your family isn't nutz, ask them if they know anyone you could just meet once. Beyond that, yeah it's going to be hard, and its not fun. But if you want to be married, doing it right is worth it. Not fun, not easy, but worth it.

 

[Andylusion]

those only exist in fairy tales and stupid love songs - which all lie.

Dont burst my fantasy bubble damn it! ;-)

There are many good men out there...just as there are women. All of these issues (Children, Marriage, etc.) really boil down to faith.

Because all of us have had bad experiences should not damage your faith. I have known many good people of both genders. I sure all of us have.

They are out there.

Just to be honest though... the picking get slimmer the older you get. There are good men, but the good men that want to be married (and most do), end up getting married. Past the age of 30, the ratio of good men to creepers, gets really low.

I'm always shocked by girls specifically that don't date until they are 30, and then are shocked they can't find any good guys. To me that is a 'duh' moment.

 

[Diana1180]

Good Lord..if I let my family set me up with someone they would try to find a midget eskimo.

They are forever telling me thats the one thing we dont have in our family and I need to date one.

 

[Diana1180]

Dont burst my fantasy bubble damn it! ;-)

There are many good men out there...just as there are women. All of these issues (Children, Marriage, etc.) really boil down to faith.

Because all of us have had bad experiences should not damage your faith. I have known many good people of both genders. I sure all of us have.

They are out there.

Just to be honest though... the picking get slimmer the older you get. There are good men, but the good men that want to be married (and most do), end up getting married. Past the age of 30, the ratio of good men to creepers, gets really low.

I'm always shocked by girls specifically that don't date until they are 30, and then are shocked they can't find any good guys. To me that is a 'duh' moment.

I am 37. I was married. A long time ago and when I was young. Divorced and having a two year old I focused on her and us. Now that she is 15...easier for me to date and go out.

Sometimes the timing doesnt always work out.

 

[WelfareQueen]

There are a lot of good men and women who are divorced. Yes, good men tend to get snapped up pretty early....but roughly half will end up getting divorced.

People change in marriage....a lot of times they don't grow together. I think that is a reason for many divorces.

Don't lose the faith, people. That's all I am saying.

 

[High_Gravity]

I'm not sure that's a good take away. Yeah, it hurt to do that and end up finding out she wasn't interested.

But saying that you are not going to try for the right kind of relationship, just means you'll end up with the empty meaningless relationship forever.

The good things in life are hard. No one got to a good place, without going through the difficult and challenging parts, and I wager that Marriage with a good woman, is no different.

If the really good stuff in life was all easy, and painless, everyone would have million dollar homes, six-figure incomes, and absolutely wonderful marriages. Right?

You are right, its just that when you put yourself out there for another person you make yourself vulnerable, its just so risky. I'm not saying I'll never do it again but I'd like to at least know the other person is at least interested, but unfortunately its never that easy people are rarely upfront about their feelings.

Well... I have to agree with you completely on that. Women have a nasty tendency to never say what they mean, because they don't want the confrontation. But when they don't say it, then guys are left confused about whether they should simply try harder, or give up. You end up with wasted emotion, time, and of course money.

I understand that. So I know where you're coming from. I've seen it happen several times.

Unfortunately, this is exactly why for centuries, the families would set up couples to date. The parents of the guy, would meet the parents of the girl, and discuss if the girl was interested, and if she wasn't they'd move on and find someone who was. If she was, then they would arrange meetings and courtship.

Now, parents kind of shoo the kids out the door during college, and good luck, hope you find someone, and this stuff happens.

I had a co-worker from Somalia, and this was crazy. He told his parents he didn't want to be single anymore, and asked them to find him a girl. They sent him some picture of several women, and he picked one and started talking to her over skype. Sure enough, he flew back to Somalia, and came back a married man. (and she was a wowzer too) Not much for Somalie girls, but she was A+ with some extra credit...

If your family isn't nutz, ask them if they know anyone you could just meet once. Beyond that, yeah it's going to be hard, and its not fun. But if you want to be married, doing it right is worth it. Not fun, not easy, but worth it.

I'm starting to think the older cultures had it right about courtship and dating lol, a Western love life can be mentally exhausting unless you are a wealthy man, than the women come to you lol.

 

[High_Gravity]

Dont burst my fantasy bubble damn it! ;-)

There are many good men out there...just as there are women. All of these issues (Children, Marriage, etc.) really boil down to faith.

Because all of us have had bad experiences should not damage your faith. I have known many good people of both genders. I sure all of us have.

They are out there.

Just to be honest though... the picking get slimmer the older you get. There are good men, but the good men that want to be married (and most do), end up getting married. Past the age of 30, the ratio of good men to creepers, gets really low.

I'm always shocked by girls specifically that don't date until they are 30, and then are shocked they can't find any good guys. To me that is a 'duh' moment.

You are 100% right and I think it applies both ways, alot of women my age have already had kids by different men and marriages and thats very hard to deal with, and the emotional baggage that comes with that. I'm not opposed to dealing with a woman with kids if its right, but its a difficult fit.

 

[Andylusion]

There are many good men out there...just as there are women. All of these issues (Children, Marriage, etc.) really boil down to faith.

Because all of us have had bad experiences should not damage your faith. I have known many good people of both genders. I sure all of us have.

They are out there.

Just to be honest though... the picking get slimmer the older you get. There are good men, but the good men that want to be married (and most do), end up getting married. Past the age of 30, the ratio of good men to creepers, gets really low.

I'm always shocked by girls specifically that don't date until they are 30, and then are shocked they can't find any good guys. To me that is a 'duh' moment.

You are 100% right and I think it applies both ways, alot of women my age have already had kids by different men and marriages and thats very hard to deal with, and the emotional baggage that comes with that. I'm not opposed to dealing with a woman with kids if its right, but its a difficult fit.

Yes, it is. I would advise you not to date or consider on any woman with children or ex-husbands.

The divorce rate for blended families, is over 70%. Look for a younger girl, before you take some chick with kids.

It's not because the girl is bad... it simply doesn't work. That step kid, will never respect your authority as a parent, because he or she, already has a father, and it's not you. And when you marry, you also marry that ex-husband, or G-d forbid ex-boy friend which is even worse. Sometimes you can cut out the ex-hubby with a divorce, but I've seen times where the former boyfriend with kids, never goes away.

Marriage is hard enough in the most perfect situation, why jump into something 100 times harder?

A good girl that's younger, is better than a girl the same age with decades of baggage, by far. Good luck to those looking. Hope the best for you.

 

[Diana1180]

Just to be honest though... the picking get slimmer the older you get. There are good men, but the good men that want to be married (and most do), end up getting married. Past the age of 30, the ratio of good men to creepers, gets really low.

I'm always shocked by girls specifically that don't date until they are 30, and then are shocked they can't find any good guys. To me that is a 'duh' moment.

You are 100% right and I think it applies both ways, alot of women my age have already had kids by different men and marriages and thats very hard to deal with, and the emotional baggage that comes with that. I'm not opposed to dealing with a woman with kids if its right, but its a difficult fit.

Yes, it is. I would advise you not to date or consider on any woman with children or ex-husbands.

The divorce rate for blended families, is over 70%. Look for a younger girl, before you take some chick with kids.

It's not because the girl is bad... it simply doesn't work. That step kid, will never respect your authority as a parent, because he or she, already has a father, and it's not you. And when you marry, you also marry that ex-husband, or G-d forbid ex-boy friend which is even worse. Sometimes you can cut out the ex-hubby with a divorce, but I've seen times where the former boyfriend with kids, never goes away.

Marriage is hard enough in the most perfect situation, why jump into something 100 times harder?

A good girl that's younger, is better than a girl the same age with decades of baggage, by far. Good luck to those looking. Hope the best for you.

In that case, good luck finding that young virgin who has no past dating history.

 

[Statistikhengst]

 

[Vandalshandle]

I had to quit going to church because every time I did, I got married.

NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!