Parents! I need your advice!

[fuzzykitten99]

My son is 18 mo, and just started hitting his forehead on stuff intentionally. It's basically when he's angry or upset at me or his dad. He will go to a wall or the coffee table and purposely hit his forehead on it. At first he would do it lightly, so i thought it was just his way of trying to get attention, so we ignored it.

it has gotten worse, to where he hits his head so hard, like tonight, he knocked a photo off the wall he hit his head on, it was that hard.

I am getting really concerned. I don't want him to continue this, because it may actually cause damage to his brain at some point, but i don't know how to discourage him from it.

do i give him a time out in his bed/crib and tell him no every time he does it?

Please help!!!

 

[dilloduck]

My son is 18 mo, and just started hitting his forehead on stuff intentionally. It's basically when he's angry or upset at me or his dad. He will go to a wall or the coffee table and purposely hit his forehead on it. At first he would do it lightly, so i thought it was just his way of trying to get attention, so we ignored it.

it has gotten worse, to where he hits his head so hard, like tonight, he knocked a photo off the wall he hit his head on, it was that hard.

I am getting really concerned. I don't want him to continue this, because it may actually cause damage to his brain at some point, but i don't know how to discourage him from it.

do i give him a time out in his bed/crib and tell him no every time he does it?

Please help!!!

pediatrician before web advice I would hope

 

[krisy]

My son is 18 mo, and just started hitting his forehead on stuff intentionally. It's basically when he's angry or upset at me or his dad. He will go to a wall or the coffee table and purposely hit his forehead on it. At first he would do it lightly, so i thought it was just his way of trying to get attention, so we ignored it.

it has gotten worse, to where he hits his head so hard, like tonight, he knocked a photo off the wall he hit his head on, it was that hard.

I am getting really concerned. I don't want him to continue this, because it may actually cause damage to his brain at some point, but i don't know how to discourage him from it.

do i give him a time out in his bed/crib and tell him no every time he does it?

Please help!!!

Talk to his doc about it first. I will tell you that my son Jacob did kind of the same thing. He used to bang the back of his head on the wall. Usually just once in the height of a tantrum. I was told this is fairly normal as long as you don't feel like they could really hurt themselves,then they may want to do something. He is at the perfect age for physical tantrums. I agree though,if you are really worried,go ahead and give the doc a call. If anything it will calm your nerves. They are so cute at that age,yet soooooo tiring!!!

 

[Annie]

My son is 18 mo, and just started hitting his forehead on stuff intentionally. It's basically when he's angry or upset at me or his dad. He will go to a wall or the coffee table and purposely hit his forehead on it. At first he would do it lightly, so i thought it was just his way of trying to get attention, so we ignored it.

it has gotten worse, to where he hits his head so hard, like tonight, he knocked a photo off the wall he hit his head on, it was that hard.

I am getting really concerned. I don't want him to continue this, because it may actually cause damage to his brain at some point, but i don't know how to discourage him from it.

do i give him a time out in his bed/crib and tell him no every time he does it?

Please help!!!

Found this with google search: http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlerbehavior/11554.html

As a teacher whenever I see headbanging, I am afraid of autism. Now mind you, this is like a nurse with a symptom. We are not qualified.

 

[fuzzykitten99]

Talk to his doc about it first. I will tell you that my son Jacob did kind of the same thing. He used to bang the back of his head on the wall. Usually just once in the height of a tantrum. I was told this is fairly normal as long as you don't feel like they could really hurt themselves,then they may want to do something. He is at the perfect age for physical tantrums. I agree though,if you are really worried,go ahead and give the doc a call. If anything it will calm your nerves. They are so cute at that age,yet soooooo tiring!!!

he does do the limp noodle thing on the floor. that i expect at this age. it's actually on the humorous side.

i am concerned about him hurting himself. his sitter says he doesn't do this with her, so i can't figure out why he is doing this, and where he learned it. there are no other kids at his sitters, only him.

i know that other kids have done this, so it's not unusual, but i have never heard or read anything on how to stop it.

dilloduck---advice, tips, etc coming from other experienced parents is often more useful or reassuring than a dr's. i use the dr. as a last resort for behavioral problems. most of the time, it's just a phase.

 

[Shattered]

I wouldn't make the doctor the last resort if it doesn't stop very soon..

A childhood friend used to bang his head in to a wall as a toddler every time he got mad.. Eventually, he ended up causing his own epilepsy...What may just be a temporary behavioral problem may turn in to something much worse if not stopped immediately.

 

[dilloduck]

he does do the limp noodle thing on the floor. that i expect at this age. it's actually on the humorous side.

i am concerned about him hurting himself. his sitter says he doesn't do this with her, so i can't figure out why he is doing this, and where he learned it. there are no other kids at his sitters, only him.

i know that other kids have done this, so it's not unusual, but i have never heard or read anything on how to stop it.

dilloduck---advice, tips, etc coming from other experienced parents is often more useful or reassuring than a dr's. i use the dr. as a last resort for behavioral problems. most of the time, it's just a phase.

It's your kid --- do what you like---I just happen to be a parent too and was giving you what I thought would be the best thing to do--Dr.s can be quite helpful with behavioral issues as well as medical ones. Your kid is unique--NO one here can acurately diagnose the situation without knowing more. It's dangerous IMHO

 

[archangel]

My son is 18 mo, and just started hitting his forehead on stuff intentionally. It's basically when he's angry or upset at me or his dad. He will go to a wall or the coffee table and purposely hit his forehead on it. At first he would do it lightly, so i thought it was just his way of trying to get attention, so we ignored it.

it has gotten worse, to where he hits his head so hard, like tonight, he knocked a photo off the wall he hit his head on, it was that hard.

I am getting really concerned. I don't want him to continue this, because it may actually cause damage to his brain at some point, but i don't know how to discourage him from it.

do i give him a time out in his bed/crib and tell him no every time he does it?

Please help!!!

Well being a parent and grandparent I can only give you the adice that worked for me..Most kids at this age are looking for attention and parameters with which they respect their parents..What worked for me was a good old fashioned swat on the butt with a firm.."enough of that" then put them in a quiet place to think about the consequences..My daughters and grandkids grew up with no detrimental effects, just the contrary they are a-ok!

 

[fuzzykitten99]

It's your kid --- do what you like---I just happen to be a parent too and was giving you what I thought would be the best thing to do--Dr.s can be quite helpful with behavioral issues as well as medical ones. Your kid is unique--NO one here can acurately diagnose the situation without knowing more. It's dangerous IMHO

i am not asking for a diagnosis. i am just asking if anyone has ever had the same issues, and such, and how they handled it.

i know doctors can be helpful with behavioral issues, but if i ran to the doctor every time i was concerned about something, i would be broke, and have no job, because i would be gone too much. calling is not usually an option, because by the time i can sit down and talk, his ped is gone from the office.

i am the oldest of 6 kids, so i know quite a bit about them. my youngest sibling is 7, i am 25. my parents rarely called the doctor about behavioral issues unless it was very unusual. My youngest brother used to eat fuzz from blankets. One of my sisters liked to sleep in cardboard boxes rather than her bed. i could go on with the wierd stuff the did (and still do).

 

[dilloduck]

My bad--your post sounded desperate but I guess it wasn't. If you WERE desperately concerned I would still advise seeing his ped and if his ped was too damn busy to see him, I would fire his ass.

 

[dmp]

How often do you spank him? If he's old enough to throw fits, he's old enough for a whoopin'.

Try this:

"okay...we don't allow that, son...time for bed." Put him in his crib - in the center of the room so he can't head-butt any walls - if need be. Let him cry himself to sleep.

 

[Said1]

How often do you spank him? If he's old enough to throw fits, he's old enough for a whoopin'.

Try this:

"okay...we don't allow that, son...time for bed." Put him in his crib - in the center of the room so he can't head-butt any walls - if need be. Let him cry himself to sleep.

You forgot the pillows on the floor just in case he climbs out of his crib. My daughter used to that! Oh yeah, and PERSISTANCE.

 

[no1tovote4]

i am not asking for a diagnosis. i am just asking if anyone has ever had the same issues, and such, and how they handled it.

i know doctors can be helpful with behavioral issues, but if i ran to the doctor every time i was concerned about something, i would be broke, and have no job, because i would be gone too much. calling is not usually an option, because by the time i can sit down and talk, his ped is gone from the office.

i am the oldest of 6 kids, so i know quite a bit about them. my youngest sibling is 7, i am 25. my parents rarely called the doctor about behavioral issues unless it was very unusual. My youngest brother used to eat fuzz from blankets. One of my sisters liked to sleep in cardboard boxes rather than her bed. i could go on with the wierd stuff the did (and still do).

My Nephew, whom I cared for for his early years, did this as well. We created a "safe room" where there was nothing to injure himself on, when he threw a tantrum like this we simply put him in the room until he stopped. Once he saw that it wasn't working he stopped doing that.

 

[fuzzykitten99]

How often do you spank him? If he's old enough to throw fits, he's old enough for a whoopin'.

Try this:

"okay...we don't allow that, son...time for bed." Put him in his crib - in the center of the room so he can't head-butt any walls - if need be. Let him cry himself to sleep.

actually, spanking/swatting backfired on us. for other misbehavior, we tried that, and now he tries to hit US when we tell him no for something. so if we continued to spank or swat, i think it would make the issue worse. the first time it happened, he wanted to get down from the stroller, and was throwing a fit, so i got down to his level and told him no, and he slapped me. i was so stunned and embarrassed, i wasn't sure what to do, so i told him no, don't hit mommy, and such. he never did that until we started the light swats for misbehavior.

he's 18 months old, and i swear he has the attitude of a teenager.

as far as the ped not having time for him, that's not the case, its just difficult to talk while i am at work, and so the best way to get a conversation is to make an appt. but the last one on weekdays is 4:30, and I work until 5, so i have to take time off, and if i keep doing that, i use up my PTO hours, and i won't have any left for sick days, and such.

we are trying to curb the behavior and attitude now to avoid problems in the future.

 

[dmp]

actually, spanking/swatting backfired on us. for other misbehavior, we tried that, and now he tries to hit US when we tell him no for something.

Spank. Him. Harder. It will be difficult...he'll try to fight back. Win this battle when he is 18 months, because if you do not make HIM cry now...he'll make YOU cry when he's 18 years.

 

[no1tovote4]

Spank. Him. Harder. It will be difficult...he'll try to fight back. Win this battle when he is 18 months, because if you do not make HIM cry now...he'll make YOU cry when he's 18 years.

I would agree that you must win the battles, I disagree that spanking is the only way. The child will continue to escalate until they are sure that you are not going to give in. You must take the same action every time, and you must not give in to the child's demands at any time.

Spanking is one action that you can take, and I do not necessarily think it is bad it worked in my childhood for me, but it is only one. The important part is that you win every time.

 

[dmp]

I would agree that you must win the battles, I disagree that spanking is the only way. The child will continue to escalate until they are sure that you are not going to give in. You must take the same action every time, and you must not give in to the child's demands at any time.

Spanking is one action that you can take, and I do not necessarily think it is bad it worked in my childhood for me, but it is only one. The important part is that you win every time.

Indeed. It's a very potent way to correct your kids behavior - I wouldn't suggest it's the 'only' way that works...just the 'best' way, in most situations, imo.