DrLove
Diamond Member
SAN FRANCISCO (The Borowitz Report)—Reacting to a bizarre development that no one saw coming, Americans this week have been dumbfounded by the unfathomable spectacle of Twitter’s senior management demonstrating responsibility.
In interviews across the country, people from all walks of life expressed shock and disbelief that Twitter executives appeared to recognize that their social-media platform was a potentially destructive entity that required a modicum of oversight from those supposedly running it.
“At first, when I saw that they were fact-checking tweets, I thought it was some kind of fluke,” Carol Foyler, a Twitter user from Topeka, said. “But then when they started hiding tweets for glorifying violence, I was, like, O.K., this is getting weird.”
“It almost seems like Twitter has been taken over by someone like Bill Gates or George Soros,” Harland Dorrinson, a user from Phoenix, said. “I would tweet something about that, but I’m afraid they might fact-check it.”
Tracy Klugian, a securities analyst who has been on Twitter since its inception, expressed concern that, by exhibiting even modest signs of adult responsibility, the company is “heading down a slippery slope.”
“Today it’s falsehoods and incitements to violence, but what will it be tomorrow?” he said. “Will Twitter start policing racists, misogynists, and Nazis? Their entire business model is at risk.”
Nation Astonished by Spectacle of Twitter Management Demonstrating Responsibility
One user expressed concern that the company is “heading down a slippery slope.”
