DrLove
Diamond Member
Andy's always right on top of Dotard's stupidest statements.
Millions of Americans Denied Groceries After Failing to Provide I.D.
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (The Borowitz Report)āMillions of Americans were foiled in their attempts to purchase groceries on Wednesday after failing to provide the proper government-issued I.D. cards.
From coast to coast, food-seeking scofflaws were turned away from supermarkets, convenience stores, and fruit markets as they tried to circumvent the nationās long-standing grocery I.D. laws.
āGiven that Americans have been required to show I.D. to buy food for years, itās amazing that people still try to get away with this,ā Carol Foyler, a supermarket cashier in Fresno, California, said. āItās always, āOh, I left my food I.D. in my other pants,ā or some B.S. like that. Believe me, Iāve heard it all.ā
In Cleveland, Ohio, a man attempting to buy a loaf of bread, two yogurts, and a bottle of Fanta tried to use another consumerās food I.D. to make the purchase, but was busted by sharp-eyed security personnel.
āItās not just people using other peopleās food I.D.s to get groceries,ā Harland Dorrinson, the storeās security chief, said. āI canāt tell you how many fake food I.D.s we see in here on a daily basis.ā
Dorrinson said that, although the nationās food-I.D. laws have served it well, they āneed to go furtherā to prevent rampant abuses of the system.
āRequiring people who want groceries to have a food I.D. is a good start, but there should also be background checks and a waiting period,ā he said.
From coast to coast, food-seeking scofflaws were turned away from supermarkets, convenience stores, and fruit markets as they tried to circumvent the nationās long-standing grocery I.D. laws.
āGiven that Americans have been required to show I.D. to buy food for years, itās amazing that people still try to get away with this,ā Carol Foyler, a supermarket cashier in Fresno, California, said. āItās always, āOh, I left my food I.D. in my other pants,ā or some B.S. like that. Believe me, Iāve heard it all.ā
In Cleveland, Ohio, a man attempting to buy a loaf of bread, two yogurts, and a bottle of Fanta tried to use another consumerās food I.D. to make the purchase, but was busted by sharp-eyed security personnel.
āItās not just people using other peopleās food I.D.s to get groceries,ā Harland Dorrinson, the storeās security chief, said. āI canāt tell you how many fake food I.D.s we see in here on a daily basis.ā
Dorrinson said that, although the nationās food-I.D. laws have served it well, they āneed to go furtherā to prevent rampant abuses of the system.
āRequiring people who want groceries to have a food I.D. is a good start, but there should also be background checks and a waiting period,ā he said.
Millions of Americans Denied Groceries After Failing to Provide I.D.