The last winter in the UK saw consistently heavy snowfall. During the winter my wife was spending an inordinate amount of time on Facebook. I secretly changed her password. She thought it was a software glitch.
Early one morning I needed to use the toilet badly, but my wife claimed she was in the bath. I joked that I'd have to take a piss in the garden. To my admitted surprise she bluntly instructed me to do so. Now, I don't know why, seeing as there was snow on the ground (though it was very early), but I popped out to the bottom of the garden for a piss whilst completely naked. It was very early and I'd done it before, though in slightly more hospitable conditions. A few seconds into a thoroughly enjoyable piss I heard the rumbling of my wife rushing down the stairs, then I heard her lock the back door. I rushed up to the window and banged on it. My wife the replied, "Give me the new password, yer fuckin' asshole!". "I feigned ignorance and demanded she open the door. She replied by telling me she'd leave me out in the cold, naked, until a wrote the password in the frost on the window. She actually made me wait until she'd successfully accessed her account before she let me back in. I ran back into the house and called her *****. She replied by saying, "that'll teach you for being a lyin' asshole".
Married life, eh.
