Keystoned Cops

excalibur

Diamond Member
Mar 19, 2015
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Yeah, who could have predicted this would have happened? Certainly, all of us non-potheads did.



Hereā€™s a simple truism: Oxygen deprivation never improves thinking.

When the hypoxiacs of Colorado passed the nationā€™s first and most liberal ā€œall pot is legal anywhere, everywhere, and for any reasonā€ law in 2012, nobody but everybody couldā€™ve foreseen that complete decriminalization would spark a ā€œcola warā€ between pot growers to up THC potency to attract customers. Colorado THC levels have risen to the point where potheads are being institutionalized for psychosis and admitted to ERs with bouts of ā€œscromitingā€ (ā€œscream vomiting,ā€ all the rage among those who insist pot has no medical downside).

Legislative efforts to regulate THC have been torpedoed by the wealthy and powerful pot lobby. Again, nobody on earth couldā€™ve foreseen that letting pot growers form a legal cartel would lead to them sabotaging all attempts at regulation. Nobody on earth except everybody on earth except Coloradans.

Was the state with the least amount of oxygen really the right place for this experiment?

Itā€™s against this backdrop that, last week, cops in Greeley, Colo., pulled over a spicy Latina named Yareni Rios-Gonzalez, wanted for a road rage incident (most likely another case of taco truckā€“onā€“taco truck violence). The cops cuffed Speedy Gonzalez and put her in the back of their cruiserā€¦which theyā€™d absent-mindedly parked on train tracks. Clearly visible train tracks. And when the train came, the cops were like, ā€œWhoaā€¦dudeā€¦train,ā€ as they left Gonzalez in the path of the oncoming locomotive (on the bright side, Netflix purchased the body-cam footage for a Hispanic reboot of The Perils of Pauline).

An hour away in Aurora, last week it was confirmed that spaced-out paramedics killed a handcuffed suspect by accidentally giving him an overdose of ketamine.

Turns out ā€œRocky Mountain Highā€ is better as an anthem than as a work ethic.


 

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