Jesus, as Interpreted by CNN

Rob37

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CNN has a new series about Jesus. At the risk of promoting this shit network's broadcasts I provide a link for verification purposes.
FInding Jesus: Faith, fact and forgery - CNN.com

I may have to tune in just to see what kind of weird shit CNN will be pimping. Let me guess:

Jesus will be a leftist radical

While on the cross, CNN-Jesus will say, "I die for your sin of not permitting on-demand abortions."

Jesus will accuse Judas of being in cahoots with the Russians, then there will be a big investigation and nothing will be revealed

Instead of a cross Jesus will be crucified on a "PP", for Planned Parenthood.

CNN-Jesus will be a tranny and the Romans will be portrayed as tranny-phobe bigots

Mary aborts Jesus because she does not want to bring another child into the world because of the carbon footprint it will leave.

CNN-Jesus gets high on bath salts, kills a lot of dudes, then rehabilitates himself in a state run facility, in which he gets a sex change while undergoing drug treatment. When he gets out he saves the world as the Messiah, only to be put down by the racist Romans led by a blond real estate tycoon. As he dies on the cross CNN-Jesus utters, "I will be stronger in death than in life."

CNN-Jesus fights alien bigots from the planet Trump with rainbow colored light sabers.

Any of these scenarios are possible with CNN.






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