I've been to a dark place...

[TemplarKormac]

I feel like I've just returned from a dark place, spiritually, physically, mentally; like I've crawled out from an abyss. It's hard to explain really. I think it was about a month or so ago when I noticed how my anger had been getting the best of me, where I had been lashing out at my friends (especially theDoctorisIn) and foes alike in this forum, and my grandmother here.

I had begun questioning my faith, fighting with my moral standards. I was giving in to hatred. My self restraint had been slipping away. I began worrying about what people thought of me. I started acting like an extremist again. The objectivity I strove to maintain was slowly getting away from me. It was getting pretty dark for me at that point.

But I have returned from that dark place, seeking the light which guided my path. And while I'm sure there are those who don't really care one way or another, or those who would accost me for making "another apology thread", but I feel compelled to ask for forgiveness if I've hurt anyone with things I've said or implied over the past couple of months. Yeah, I know, this is just a forum. But I know for a fact that you are all living, breathing people out there on the other end of this internet connection, so sometimes words do matter.

I guessed it was only after Muhammad Ali passed away the night before last that I really, truly came back. I want to have the same indomitable spirit as Ali had, and will adopt him as a role model to help me fight my inner demons. I really don't have many role models to be certain, but he will a big one. I take my leave of you now.

Fare thee well.

 

[Gracie]

You need to seek help, TK. You are suffering a major case of depression BIG time.

 

[TemplarKormac]

You need to seek help, TK. You are suffering a major case of depression BIG time.

Gracie, I've been seeking help for almost 4 years now, with modest results. I've been seeing counselors and taking medications. But while I wait for help and my next dose, I have to wrestle with my emotions in between.

I'm an avid gamer, and I post actively here. I binge watch TV shows on Hulu or Netflix simply for a kick of nostalgia. I make art and do chores around the house. These are all things my counselors have suggested I do. Engage the body and the mind, that way I have no time to feel depressed or angry. Doesn't seem like any of that is helping though.

 

[Gracie]

Try yoga. Meditation. Lots on youtube. And get new shrinks.

 

[TemplarKormac]

And get new shrinks.

I would if I could afford professionals.

 

[The Irish Ram]

I feel like I've just returned from a dark place, spiritually, physically, mentally; like I've crawled out from an abyss. It's hard to explain really. I think it was about a month or so ago when I noticed how my anger had been getting the best of me, where I had been lashing out at my friends (especially theDoctorisIn) and foes alike in this forum, and my grandmother here.

I had begun questioning my faith, fighting with my moral standards. I was giving in to hatred. My self restraint had been slipping away. I began worrying about what people thought of me. I started acting like an extremist again. The objectivity I strove to maintain was slowly getting away from me. It was getting pretty dark for me at that point.

But I have returned from that dark place, seeking the light which guided my path. And while I'm sure there are those who don't really care one way or another, or those who would accost me for making "another apology thread", but I feel compelled to ask for forgiveness if I've hurt anyone with things I've said or implied over the past couple of months. Yeah, I know, this is just a forum. But I know for a fact that you are all living, breathing people out there on the other end of this internet connection, so sometimes words do matter.

I guessed it was only after Muhammad Ali passed away the night before last that I really, truly came back. I want to have the same indomitable spirit as Ali had, and will adopt him as a role model to help me fight my inner demons. I really don't have many role models to be certain, but he will a big one. I take my leave of you now.

Fare thee well.

You would be so much better off adopting Jesus as a role model, TK. If you are going to pattern yourself after someone, why not choose the greatest man to ever walk the earth. Talk about indomitable spirit. He even refused to stay dead. And inner demons are his specialty.

 

[TemplarKormac]

You would be so much better off adopting Jesus as a role model, TK

Jesus is the first, always.

 

[Dale Smith]

When you wake up as to what is really going on? Jesus Christ becomes your one and only port in the storm. I know that I would be ready for the "funny farm" had it not been for His guidance.

 

[GWV5903]

We live in a very spiritual world that pulls us between Good & Evil multiple times a day...

It took me years to accept this and it will take me many more to learn how to keep my equilibrium, I struggle daily...

I personally need Christ to deal with the struggles and to keep my balance daily...

Some days I am better with it than others...

Learn to give it to God, he finds away to make it work out for the best...

 

[Kosh]

"I've been to a dark place..."

You went into the far left drone religious churches and converted?

 

[strollingbones]

again i will call bullshit....if you are truly depressed get the fuck off the net......studies show the more time you spend on the net ...the more depressed you are likely to be...get off your ass and try to act normal...get a job...get an apartment....it must be depressing to be such a mooch as you are....

 

[strollingbones]

what an attention whore you are.......just a minute before this thread you post a thread in the flame zone begging to be mocked for being fat...i would rather mock you for just being the asshole you continue to prove yourself....

o feel sorry for me...i am a mooch who lives off my grandmother but spends all day on the net..gaming and eating cause i am depressed...bullshit....you are lazy as fuck

 

[strollingbones]

this thread at 1:20

Error | US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum

then when that wasnt getting you attention ....you do the poor me...thread

 

[TemplarKormac]

Well, bones I'm not expecting you to understand. No point for you to be here.

 

[Ozone]

huh. i don't know you, templarkormac, and honestly don't care how you feel. your feelings are irrelevant, but you make interesting points. so here is something that might interest you: ''how the media frames political issues''

 

[TemplarKormac]

what an attention whore you are

Also, I know how frequently you post about you having diabetes, through threads or in reply to other threads. Yet you can sit there and impugn on me when I create threads like these. And you're calling me an attention whore?

 

[ZackB]

again i will call bullshit....if you are truly depressed get the fuck off the net......studies show the more time you spend on the net ...the more depressed you are likely to be...get off your ass and try to act normal...get a job...get an apartment....it must be depressing to be such a mooch as you are....

Good call

 

[Ravi]

what an attention whore you are.......just a minute before this thread you post a thread in the flame zone begging to be mocked for being fat...i would rather mock you for just being the asshole you continue to prove yourself....

o feel sorry for me...i am a mooch who lives off my grandmother but spends all day on the net..gaming and eating cause i am depressed...bullshit....you are lazy as fuck

Jesus spent all his time gaming and eating so it's all good.

 

[boedicca]

You need to seek help, TK. You are suffering a major case of depression BIG time.

Gracie, I've been seeking help for almost 4 years now, with modest results. I've been seeing counselors and taking medications. But while I wait for help and my next dose, I have to wrestle with my emotions in between.

I'm an avid gamer, and I post actively here. I binge watch TV shows on Hulu or Netflix simply for a kick of nostalgia. I make art and do chores around the house. These are all things my counselors have suggested I do. Engage the body and the mind, that way I have no time to feel depressed or angry. Doesn't seem like any of that is helping though.

I think it would help you to get out of the house and to get some exercise in nature (i.e. a walk in a park).

 

[TemplarKormac]

You need to seek help, TK. You are suffering a major case of depression BIG time.

Gracie, I've been seeking help for almost 4 years now, with modest results. I've been seeing counselors and taking medications. But while I wait for help and my next dose, I have to wrestle with my emotions in between.

I'm an avid gamer, and I post actively here. I binge watch TV shows on Hulu or Netflix simply for a kick of nostalgia. I make art and do chores around the house. These are all things my counselors have suggested I do. Engage the body and the mind, that way I have no time to feel depressed or angry. Doesn't seem like any of that is helping though.

I think it would help you to get out of the house and to get some exercise in nature (i.e. a walk in a park).

I do that too. I do everything I can to get my mind off of it. But it's just in those idle times, those times of inactivity where I can't seem to shake it.