It Is That Time Again

DGS49

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At 75 years old, I am starting the preparation process for my fourth...what shall I say?...anal body invasion.

Putting the whole thing off for as long as possible, I finally brought out the box for the "kit," and read the pages of instructions, cautions, and so on. The instructions on the outside of the box do not align perfectly with the instructions on the enclosed pamphlet. But I had a VMS a few days ago, telling me to call their number for final confirmation and whatnot, so I called that number for yet a third set of instructions. Not surprisingly, they are somewhat different from the other two. Apparently, the kit that my pharmacy sent me is not exactly the same kit as the one the spelunker recommends.

But regardless, it's Monday and I'm scheduled for Wednesday morning, so TODAY (Monday), no fiber in my diet and no red food coloring (or orange, purple, blue) from here on out. So I had a couple fairly normal meals today, high in protein, no fiber. Interestingly, they say that ordinary white bread is not prohibited. Who knew?

My meds are modified for the moment - no Eliquis and no fish oil(?).

Tomorrow, no solid food at all - only liquids with no fiber or pulp. Jello seems to be OK, as are popsicles, as long as none of it is red. Tomorrow afternoon starts the worst of it. Between four and five o'clock I have to drink a quart of diluted, nuclear-powered laxative, followed by cold water totaling two liters*, all consumed in less than two hours. This laxative used to be the most awful-tasting concoction ever devised by man, but I am assured that it's not as bad now. I'm told to stay within a short walk/crawl from a toilet for the following hours, and if my past experience is instructive, that is about right.

Wednesday, I have to start the same laxative process at least six hours before my appointment time, which, if I do it accurately, will start at about 2:30 am. I'm wondering if I can start this around midnight in the hope of getting some sleep before going to the clinic. It says "at least" six hours before.

No fun at all, but we have to endure these indignities when we get old.

______________________________
* Does anyone else find it odd that they want me to drink a quart of laxative mix, followed by two liters of water? Can't they decide whether they want to use the British or Metric measures?
 
Wel
At 75 years old, I am starting the preparation process for my fourth...what shall I say?...anal body invasion.

Putting the whole thing off for as long as possible, I finally brought out the box for the "kit," and read the pages of instructions, cautions, and so on. The instructions on the outside of the box do not align perfectly with the instructions on the enclosed pamphlet. But I had a VMS a few days ago, telling me to call their number for final confirmation and whatnot, so I called that number for yet a third set of instructions. Not surprisingly, they are somewhat different from the other two. Apparently, the kit that my pharmacy sent me is not exactly the same kit as the one the spelunker recommends.

But regardless, it's Monday and I'm scheduled for Wednesday morning, so TODAY (Monday), no fiber in my diet and no red food coloring (or orange, purple, blue) from here on out. So I had a couple fairly normal meals today, high in protein, no fiber. Interestingly, they say that ordinary white bread is not prohibited. Who knew?

My meds are modified for the moment - no Eliquis and no fish oil(?).

Tomorrow, no solid food at all - only liquids with no fiber or pulp. Jello seems to be OK, as are popsicles, as long as none of it is red. Tomorrow afternoon starts the worst of it. Between four and five o'clock I have to drink a quart of diluted, nuclear-powered laxative, followed by cold water totaling two liters*, all consumed in less than two hours. This laxative used to be the most awful-tasting concoction ever devised by man, but I am assured that it's not as bad now. I'm told to stay within a short walk/crawl from a toilet for the following hours, and if my past experience is instructive, that is about right.

Wednesday, I have to start the same laxative process at least six hours before my appointment time, which, if I do it accurately, will start at about 2:30 am. I'm wondering if I can start this around midnight in the hope of getting some sleep before going to the clinic. It says "at least" six hours before.

No fun at all, but we have to endure these indignities when we get old.

______________________________
* Does anyone else find it odd that they want me to drink a quart of laxative mix, followed by two liters of water? Can't they decide whether they want to use the British or Metric measures?
Well, I certainly hope that they can "rectify" the situation.

:auiqs.jpg:
 
At 75 years old, I am starting the preparation process for my fourth...what shall I say?...anal body invasion.

Putting the whole thing off for as long as possible, I finally brought out the box for the "kit," and read the pages of instructions, cautions, and so on. The instructions on the outside of the box do not align perfectly with the instructions on the enclosed pamphlet. But I had a VMS a few days ago, telling me to call their number for final confirmation and whatnot, so I called that number for yet a third set of instructions. Not surprisingly, they are somewhat different from the other two. Apparently, the kit that my pharmacy sent me is not exactly the same kit as the one the spelunker recommends.

But regardless, it's Monday and I'm scheduled for Wednesday morning, so TODAY (Monday), no fiber in my diet and no red food coloring (or orange, purple, blue) from here on out. So I had a couple fairly normal meals today, high in protein, no fiber. Interestingly, they say that ordinary white bread is not prohibited. Who knew?

My meds are modified for the moment - no Eliquis and no fish oil(?).

Tomorrow, no solid food at all - only liquids with no fiber or pulp. Jello seems to be OK, as are popsicles, as long as none of it is red. Tomorrow afternoon starts the worst of it. Between four and five o'clock I have to drink a quart of diluted, nuclear-powered laxative, followed by cold water totaling two liters*, all consumed in less than two hours. This laxative used to be the most awful-tasting concoction ever devised by man, but I am assured that it's not as bad now. I'm told to stay within a short walk/crawl from a toilet for the following hours, and if my past experience is instructive, that is about right.

Wednesday, I have to start the same laxative process at least six hours before my appointment time, which, if I do it accurately, will start at about 2:30 am. I'm wondering if I can start this around midnight in the hope of getting some sleep before going to the clinic. It says "at least" six hours before.

No fun at all, but we have to endure these indignities when we get old.

______________________________
* Does anyone else find it odd that they want me to drink a quart of laxative mix, followed by two liters of water? Can't they decide whether they want to use the British or Metric measures?
No worries, they will find your head firmly implanted in your ass.
 
At 75 years old, I am starting the preparation process for my fourth...what shall I say?...anal body invasion.

Putting the whole thing off for as long as possible, I finally brought out the box for the "kit," and read the pages of instructions, cautions, and so on. The instructions on the outside of the box do not align perfectly with the instructions on the enclosed pamphlet. But I had a VMS a few days ago, telling me to call their number for final confirmation and whatnot, so I called that number for yet a third set of instructions. Not surprisingly, they are somewhat different from the other two. Apparently, the kit that my pharmacy sent me is not exactly the same kit as the one the spelunker recommends.

But regardless, it's Monday and I'm scheduled for Wednesday morning, so TODAY (Monday), no fiber in my diet and no red food coloring (or orange, purple, blue) from here on out. So I had a couple fairly normal meals today, high in protein, no fiber. Interestingly, they say that ordinary white bread is not prohibited. Who knew?

My meds are modified for the moment - no Eliquis and no fish oil(?).

Tomorrow, no solid food at all - only liquids with no fiber or pulp. Jello seems to be OK, as are popsicles, as long as none of it is red. Tomorrow afternoon starts the worst of it. Between four and five o'clock I have to drink a quart of diluted, nuclear-powered laxative, followed by cold water totaling two liters*, all consumed in less than two hours. This laxative used to be the most awful-tasting concoction ever devised by man, but I am assured that it's not as bad now. I'm told to stay within a short walk/crawl from a toilet for the following hours, and if my past experience is instructive, that is about right.

Wednesday, I have to start the same laxative process at least six hours before my appointment time, which, if I do it accurately, will start at about 2:30 am. I'm wondering if I can start this around midnight in the hope of getting some sleep before going to the clinic. It says "at least" six hours before.

No fun at all, but we have to endure these indignities when we get old.

______________________________
* Does anyone else find it odd that they want me to drink a quart of laxative mix, followed by two liters of water? Can't they decide whether they want to use the British or Metric measures?
After my last one showed only one benign polyp, I refused a colonoscopy so my doctor prescribed Cologuard and I sent it in by UPS. Got the results back a few days later. All good. No muss, no fuss and no horrific laxatives that never worked.
 
In a few years spare body parts will be available.
 
At 75 years old, I am starting the preparation process for my fourth...what shall I say?...anal body invasion.

Putting the whole thing off for as long as possible, I finally brought out the box for the "kit," and read the pages of instructions, cautions, and so on. The instructions on the outside of the box do not align perfectly with the instructions on the enclosed pamphlet. But I had a VMS a few days ago, telling me to call their number for final confirmation and whatnot, so I called that number for yet a third set of instructions. Not surprisingly, they are somewhat different from the other two. Apparently, the kit that my pharmacy sent me is not exactly the same kit as the one the spelunker recommends.

But regardless, it's Monday and I'm scheduled for Wednesday morning, so TODAY (Monday), no fiber in my diet and no red food coloring (or orange, purple, blue) from here on out. So I had a couple fairly normal meals today, high in protein, no fiber. Interestingly, they say that ordinary white bread is not prohibited. Who knew?

My meds are modified for the moment - no Eliquis and no fish oil(?).

Tomorrow, no solid food at all - only liquids with no fiber or pulp. Jello seems to be OK, as are popsicles, as long as none of it is red. Tomorrow afternoon starts the worst of it. Between four and five o'clock I have to drink a quart of diluted, nuclear-powered laxative, followed by cold water totaling two liters*, all consumed in less than two hours. This laxative used to be the most awful-tasting concoction ever devised by man, but I am assured that it's not as bad now. I'm told to stay within a short walk/crawl from a toilet for the following hours, and if my past experience is instructive, that is about right.

Wednesday, I have to start the same laxative process at least six hours before my appointment time, which, if I do it accurately, will start at about 2:30 am. I'm wondering if I can start this around midnight in the hope of getting some sleep before going to the clinic. It says "at least" six hours before.

No fun at all, but we have to endure these indignities when we get old.

______________________________
* Does anyone else find it odd that they want me to drink a quart of laxative mix, followed by two liters of water? Can't they decide whether they want to use the British or Metric measures?
Oh please, no big deal except in your mind.

good luck on test results
 
75. That explains a lot.
 
At 75 years old, I am starting the preparation process for my fourth...what shall I say?...anal body invasion.

Putting the whole thing off for as long as possible, I finally brought out the box for the "kit," and read the pages of instructions, cautions, and so on. The instructions on the outside of the box do not align perfectly with the instructions on the enclosed pamphlet. But I had a VMS a few days ago, telling me to call their number for final confirmation and whatnot, so I called that number for yet a third set of instructions. Not surprisingly, they are somewhat different from the other two. Apparently, the kit that my pharmacy sent me is not exactly the same kit as the one the spelunker recommends.

But regardless, it's Monday and I'm scheduled for Wednesday morning, so TODAY (Monday), no fiber in my diet and no red food coloring (or orange, purple, blue) from here on out. So I had a couple fairly normal meals today, high in protein, no fiber. Interestingly, they say that ordinary white bread is not prohibited. Who knew?

My meds are modified for the moment - no Eliquis and no fish oil(?).

Tomorrow, no solid food at all - only liquids with no fiber or pulp. Jello seems to be OK, as are popsicles, as long as none of it is red. Tomorrow afternoon starts the worst of it. Between four and five o'clock I have to drink a quart of diluted, nuclear-powered laxative, followed by cold water totaling two liters*, all consumed in less than two hours. This laxative used to be the most awful-tasting concoction ever devised by man, but I am assured that it's not as bad now. I'm told to stay within a short walk/crawl from a toilet for the following hours, and if my past experience is instructive, that is about right.

Wednesday, I have to start the same laxative process at least six hours before my appointment time, which, if I do it accurately, will start at about 2:30 am. I'm wondering if I can start this around midnight in the hope of getting some sleep before going to the clinic. It says "at least" six hours before.

No fun at all, but we have to endure these indignities when we get old.

______________________________
* Does anyone else find it odd that they want me to drink a quart of laxative mix, followed by two liters of water? Can't they decide whether they want to use the British or Metric measures?
My first one revealed a cancerous polyp. Got it taken care of quickly (surgery). Two more preps after the first.....

But it's much better than the alternative.
 
At 75 years old, I am starting the preparation process for my fourth...what shall I say?...anal body invasion.

Putting the whole thing off for as long as possible, I finally brought out the box for the "kit," and read the pages of instructions, cautions, and so on. The instructions on the outside of the box do not align perfectly with the instructions on the enclosed pamphlet. But I had a VMS a few days ago, telling me to call their number for final confirmation and whatnot, so I called that number for yet a third set of instructions. Not surprisingly, they are somewhat different from the other two. Apparently, the kit that my pharmacy sent me is not exactly the same kit as the one the spelunker recommends.

But regardless, it's Monday and I'm scheduled for Wednesday morning, so TODAY (Monday), no fiber in my diet and no red food coloring (or orange, purple, blue) from here on out. So I had a couple fairly normal meals today, high in protein, no fiber. Interestingly, they say that ordinary white bread is not prohibited. Who knew?

My meds are modified for the moment - no Eliquis and no fish oil(?).

Tomorrow, no solid food at all - only liquids with no fiber or pulp. Jello seems to be OK, as are popsicles, as long as none of it is red. Tomorrow afternoon starts the worst of it. Between four and five o'clock I have to drink a quart of diluted, nuclear-powered laxative, followed by cold water totaling two liters*, all consumed in less than two hours. This laxative used to be the most awful-tasting concoction ever devised by man, but I am assured that it's not as bad now. I'm told to stay within a short walk/crawl from a toilet for the following hours, and if my past experience is instructive, that is about right.

Wednesday, I have to start the same laxative process at least six hours before my appointment time, which, if I do it accurately, will start at about 2:30 am. I'm wondering if I can start this around midnight in the hope of getting some sleep before going to the clinic. It says "at least" six hours before.

No fun at all, but we have to endure these indignities when we get old.

______________________________
* Does anyone else find it odd that they want me to drink a quart of laxative mix, followed by two liters of water? Can't they decide whether they want to use the British or Metric measures?

You use metric. Here in Canada we used to use Imperial (British) and one of our brain dead Prime Minsters decided if we changed to metric we'd increase trade with countries that used metric. Our trade with The USA at the time was about 80%. And as of now trade with the US has dropped all the way down to about 80%. We don't bother to use metric to measure a lot of things. Lumber is measured in feet and inches.
 
15th post
At 75 years old, I am starting the preparation process for my fourth...what shall I say?...anal body invasion.

Putting the whole thing off for as long as possible, I finally brought out the box for the "kit," and read the pages of instructions, cautions, and so on. The instructions on the outside of the box do not align perfectly with the instructions on the enclosed pamphlet. But I had a VMS a few days ago, telling me to call their number for final confirmation and whatnot, so I called that number for yet a third set of instructions. Not surprisingly, they are somewhat different from the other two. Apparently, the kit that my pharmacy sent me is not exactly the same kit as the one the spelunker recommends.

But regardless, it's Monday and I'm scheduled for Wednesday morning, so TODAY (Monday), no fiber in my diet and no red food coloring (or orange, purple, blue) from here on out. So I had a couple fairly normal meals today, high in protein, no fiber. Interestingly, they say that ordinary white bread is not prohibited. Who knew?

My meds are modified for the moment - no Eliquis and no fish oil(?).

Tomorrow, no solid food at all - only liquids with no fiber or pulp. Jello seems to be OK, as are popsicles, as long as none of it is red. Tomorrow afternoon starts the worst of it. Between four and five o'clock I have to drink a quart of diluted, nuclear-powered laxative, followed by cold water totaling two liters*, all consumed in less than two hours. This laxative used to be the most awful-tasting concoction ever devised by man, but I am assured that it's not as bad now. I'm told to stay within a short walk/crawl from a toilet for the following hours, and if my past experience is instructive, that is about right.

Wednesday, I have to start the same laxative process at least six hours before my appointment time, which, if I do it accurately, will start at about 2:30 am. I'm wondering if I can start this around midnight in the hope of getting some sleep before going to the clinic. It says "at least" six hours before.

No fun at all, but we have to endure these indignities when we get old.

______________________________
* Does anyone else find it odd that they want me to drink a quart of laxative mix, followed by two liters of water? Can't they decide whether they want to use the British or Metric measures?

I have Crohns and so have had too many of these. I hate them, naturally. I told my "GI, in the 21st century the best you got is roto rooter? Really?"

He laughed and said they're working on it. Yeah, that was at least 10 years ago....
 
Thanks. Not sure how well that will work as a spare body part tho.

Good luck whatever you do.
Probably better than the other alternatives.
I try to stay away from the medical field if at all possible.
Stay busy and eat well, if this is possible of course.
" Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." Hippocrates
 
I just poop in a bucket every three years and send it in.

Thats known as a slop pot or parlor pot, all respectable homes had one when weather made the outhouse unbearable.
 
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