Right on, Justin Davis.
This problem is different for each person, but basically yes, people get so caught up in defending
the part they KNOW is true, they step on the people they are trying to convince of this
and wonder why they aren't being receptive.
1. With MD I see his points are correct, but you can't well go around insulting other
people or their viewpoints and expect them to respect you or yours.
MD is like a logical machine that misses the human factor.
You can be the best mathematician in the world, but if you can't reach your students
or people can't understand your books, your points are lost to them.
That is one version of this problem.
2. with some people the emotionalism and rejection of the opposition just gets out of hand.
I think Hollie is so caught up in reacting to "angry Christians"
she can't even talk about solutions. She is still venting and protest the problem.
My friend Daron is like this. He just wants to harp and rail against
Conservative Christians he blames for being dangerously imposing, mean and screwing things up
where he doesn't care if he screws things up the same way,
or his Democrat Party screws things up, he just takes that side and
uses it to HAMMER the opposition.
It's not about winning or solving anything,
it's about beating down the other side. period.
3. There are those who only see their opposition is correct,
but don't see, understand or believe in a bigger solution that could work at the same time.
So instead of pushing the solution, they just focus on their part of the answers
and hammer that away.
This is okay in correcting PART of the problem as long as they
don't make the mistakes in #1 and #2 above and chase away
or shut down the very people you are trying to share this knowledge or insight with!
So some of it is just not seeing the bigger picture.
Some people can make this mistake but don't have the
emotional barriers going on as in scenario #1 and #2.
If we can fix the problems by approaching it as #3 then we don't
have to place judgment on people, criticizing them for being emotional
and driving people away.
People like Hollie and Daron my friend don't see any benefit
in working WITH the people they are opposed to.
So they have no motivation to change how they present their views.
All they want to do is hammer at the opposition.
I don't think that approach can change.
I think the key is finding people like maybe you and I think
MD is workable with, if Boss can help who is workable with,
and try to WATCH how we say things, REMEMBERING that
people are human, and will defend their honor and their beliefs.
If MD and Boss did not come across so insulting to other people,
they might make their points better. So the human connection
factor is missing. The points are there but are lost because
MD and Boss come across as telling people they are wrong and need to change.
The internet is very hard to communicate through without coming across
as imposing. So that is another factor we are up against.
It has taken years, but have managed to connect with people even
though online communication isn't perfect and we come across wrong.
I hope you can help work with Boss and MD so we
can connect personally. If we can develop that trust
that we have good points to make and something is lost
in communication, we can fix all those problems in the process.
But we need that connection first!
And we can't connect if we are calling each other
* boring or useless
* impossible to work with
* too angry or too irrational to listen to reason
etc.
I hope we can connect and build on that
to address all these points that are being
lost talking past each other and in circles.
I am sure, without a doubt, everyone here has valid
points and objections or we wouldn't be trying so hard to make them!
I will ask you and dblack to please help me work with
MD and Boss so we can communicate. And maybe
GT who seems to respond when something makes sense,
without having to attach insult or judgment to it.
PratchettFan and Asaritis seem to stay objective,
and Derideo_Te and Sealybobo understand that
I am not trying to be negative or rejecting but
include and work with people. Hollie doesn't get that
yet but they do. So we can build a connection,
and then use that to address these points
without insulting each other or coming across that way.
It's very hard online, so anything we can do is quite an accomplishment!
Please don't give up on MD and Boss, as they have good points
and just come across poorly compared to the content they have to share.
Right on, Justin Davis.
This problem is different for each person, but basically yes, people get so caught up in defending
the part they KNOW is true, they step on the people they are trying to convince of this
and wonder why they aren't being receptive.
1. With MD I see his points are correct, but you can't well go around insulting other
people or their viewpoints and expect them to respect you or yours.
MD is like a logical machine that misses the human factor.
You can be the best mathematician in the world, but if you can't reach your students
or people can't understand your books, your points are lost to them.
That is one version of this problem.
2. with some people the emotionalism and rejection of the opposition just gets out of hand.
I think Hollie is so caught up in reacting to "angry Christians"
she can't even talk about solutions. She is still venting and protest the problem.
My friend Daron is like this. He just wants to harp and rail against
Conservative Christians he blames for being dangerously imposing, mean and screwing things up
where he doesn't care if he screws things up the same way,
or his Democrat Party screws things up, he just takes that side and
uses it to HAMMER the opposition.
It's not about winning or solving anything,
it's about beating down the other side. period.
3. There are those who only see their opposition is correct,
but don't see, understand or believe in a bigger solution that could work at the same time.
So instead of pushing the solution, they just focus on their part of the answers
and hammer that away.
This is okay in correcting PART of the problem as long as they
don't make the mistakes in #1 and #2 above and chase away
or shut down the very people you are trying to share this knowledge or insight with!
So some of it is just not seeing the bigger picture.
Some people can make this mistake but don't have the
emotional barriers going on as in scenario #1 and #2.
If we can fix the problems by approaching it as #3 then we don't
have to place judgment on people, criticizing them for being emotional
and driving people away.
People like Hollie and Daron my friend don't see any benefit
in working WITH the people they are opposed to.
So they have no motivation to change how they present their views.
All they want to do is hammer at the opposition.
I don't think that approach can change.
I think the key is finding people like maybe you and I think
MD is workable with, if Boss can help who is workable with,
and try to WATCH how we say things, REMEMBERING that
people are human, and will defend their honor and their beliefs.
If MD and Boss did not come across so insulting to other people,
they might make their points better. So the human connection
factor is missing. The points are there but are lost because
MD and Boss come across as telling people they are wrong and need to change.
The internet is very hard to communicate through without coming across
as imposing. So that is another factor we are up against.
It has taken years, but have managed to connect with people even
though online communication isn't perfect and we come across wrong.
I hope you can help work with Boss and MD so we
can connect personally. If we can develop that trust
that we have good points to make and something is lost
in communication, we can fix all those problems in the process.
But we need that connection first!
And we can't connect if we are calling each other
* boring or useless
* impossible to work with
* too angry or too irrational to listen to reason
etc.
I hope we can connect and build on that
to address all these points that are being
lost talking past each other and in circles.
I am sure, without a doubt, everyone here has valid
points and objections or we wouldn't be trying so hard to make them!
I will ask you and dblack to please help me work with
MD and Boss so we can communicate. And maybe
GT who seems to respond when something makes sense,
without having to attach insult or judgment to it.
PratchettFan and Asaritis seem to stay objective,
and Derideo_Te and Sealybobo understand that
I am not trying to be negative or rejecting but
include and work with people. Hollie doesn't get that
yet but they do. So we can build a connection,
and then use that to address these points
without insulting each other or coming across that way.
It's very hard online, so anything we can do is quite an accomplishment!
Please don't give up on MD and Boss, as they have good points
and just come across poorly compared to the content they have to share.
The problem I have with this, Emily, is that
objectivity means
objectivity. It goes to the discipline of being able to back out of one's personal paradigm so that one can accurately apprehend what another believes and why, from premise to conclusion, and, in this case, apprehend the imperatives of the problems of existence and origin without bias as they come at one.
The fact of the matter is that very few people have that discipline, and atheists are notoriously dogmatic. The reason for that is that atheism is sheer dogma from its irrational premise to its science-distorting conclusion.
An objective assessment of "The Five Things," for example, clearly demonstrates that they all hold true, but one cannot fully appreciate the objective fact of
number 4, the necessity of an infinitely and absolutely perfect divinity and, therefore, apprehend the subsequent ramifications of the principle of identity, until one is willing to openly and honestly concede that (1) the laws of thought hold that atheism is irrational and that (2) the idea of God is in the atheist's mind
because of the fact of the cosmological order's existence and for no other reason whatsoever. In other words, the idea of God is held to be a rational potentiality by the atheist in his own right. And the unflinching acknowledgment of these two facts of human cognition must be fully embraced by one (whether one be a theist, an agnostic or a atheist) if one is to have an unobstructed view of reality via the logical principle of identity.
Word.
And because persons like Pratchett, in spite of what you mistakenly believe to be true about him, Hollie, dblack, G,.T., Derideo_Te, Sealybobo, Boss and others . . . refuse to unflinchingly acknowledge the totality these facts of human cognition, they keep going around and around and around the mulberry tree.
Pratchett is
not a person of the discipline of objectivity at all. None of these people are. Pratchett utterly refuses to understand that the cosmological order
is the evidence for God's existence. That's lunacy! He insists that there is no objective evidence for God's existence, though he never once defined what, according to him, objective evidence is. Apparently, the idea of God he kept going on about is in our minds for no reason at all. It's clear, however, that he thinks objective evidence is physical evidence, in spite of the fact that commonsense and any unabridged dictionary demonstrates that objective evidence can be either rational or empirical.
But the truth of the matter is that everyone of these people know these two things are true, but refuse to acknowledge them because that acknowledgement destroys everything they've always held to be true, and virtually everything they claim to believe in this regard is sheer subjective mush stated as if it were from on high.
Hi MD. Your arguments are fine, and yes the issue is objectivity and I see you have whittled this down to the core.
This is good, and I am not trying to dismiss or say any of this is not important as key points.
What I'm saying is even when we KNOW what we need to do,
all people have personal pet peeves and feelings about these things
due to people or conflicts from the past.
You and I may be able to put that aside.
But some people need more time,
and it makes it worse to jump on them for it.
One of my closest friends, who depends on me as the only person he can discuss these things with
HATES Christianity because of the group abuse he went through with a local church that
demonized him in front of everyone. Even when the pastor reached out and apologized afterwards,
he was TOO AFRAID to go back there.
We all know it is better to reconcile and heal, but sometimes people can't handle that.
I don't know the stories of all the people here, but some seem so sensitive about right and wrong,
I'm sure the wrongs done in the name of religion are going to be a sore spot, just like my friend Daron.
MD I'm SORRY that people cannot be magically perfect
and drop their emotions and associations that are negative
to focus on these points.
But please do not reject that response as obstructionist
because it is NECESSARY to talk this out.
You think the endpoint is the goal, and that's fine.
But to get there, we NEED to go through this
emotional hashing out.
You are doing it, too.
I asked you to "drop the fear and recognize the process"
and you still feel "more comfortable" HAMMERING your points out.
So if that is the role you play, that's fine.
Maybe my role is to walk with each person through their own process.
We will end up on an agreeable point when we finish.
You see your points and I agree those do need to be focused on.
I also see PercySunshine and GT agree on a key point and that's great.
What I can offer is to help us all through this "hashing out" process
and try not to kick anyone off the jousting beam.
MD: It is ONE thing to point out "people are not being objective"
It's ANOTHER thing to talk through what is the cause of the block?
You don't seem to recognize that is a valid part of the process.
You remind me of math teachers who just wanted everyone to get the right answer.
But if there were kids in class who still used the handwritten math and not calculators,
or they used an abacus or some other means of working out the steps,
I say to let each person work it out their way because they have the right to their process.
Maybe you don't trust people to get to the same place
by working with them?
Maybe that's not your gift, MD.
Please stick to your points, and keep working with me and others who are with you on that.
Please do not be frustrated if people have to go through more
steps to let go and resolve objections.
My friend Daron has been working on this issue for years,
and some steps take 10 YEARS to get to where he already knew
what the answer was. But he had to get there on ALL LEVELS,
not just knowing the answer but accepting and working WITH it.
MD it may take longer than you think.
Some people like Daron may NEVER get over their aversion
to Christians, so I just have to take that in stride. Things I say
that should have been taken objectively hit a sore spot and
cause us both to yell at each other.
And we are good friends who have known each other since 1991 I think.
And we still cannot talk about this stuff O B J E C T I V E L Y.
We have to go through a process, and it is gradual.
MD please know, these people on here are the finest I have found,
including you. You are frustrated because you know and you see where
we need to be and we're not there yet.
How is frustration going to help?
The more I push and yell at my friend Daron, he clams up or yells back to defend himself.
We generally don't disagree, we just aren't ready for the same steps.
So if it takes us 5 to 10 years to get through each step of "letting go"
to become "more objective"
and we KNOW each other and trust each other's intentions to be honest.
How do you expect to suddenly get somewhere overnight
with a bunch of people who don't know each other?
Sorry MD. I hope you can learn to have more patience, and use this
time to try to listen to what other people are saying and GET where THEY are
coming from, right or wrong, that's their frame of reference.
If you can try to understand what other people are saying,
maybe they will try harder to let go and understand you.
Don't give up, but let go and let the process show us
where we can improve and hear each other better!
Take care,
With love and respect,
Yours truly, Emily