Is Betrayal Reconcilable?

[basquebromance]

My observation is that if there is a tight relationship and one party is betrayed by the other (falling in love with another person), it's almost always irreconcilable.

I have seen people grow up and not do it again. And this was in situations where their partner didn't know. In a couple of those situations, it seemed that it might even be described as a necessary experience for the person who did it. It helped them develop. I am NOT justifying that behaviour, but life is complicated.

However, I think society works better, all things considered, when you make a promise. And you stick to it. One of the things I learned from reading Jung was that there are things in a marriage that you can't have unless you're all in. I believe that. If there's a back door open, to begin with, or a back door opens, then I think there's something about the relationship that's lacking at least, and I think you pay a huge price for that.

 

[ding]

No. Some things can never be made whole again once they are broken.

 

[Meriweather]

However, I think society works better, all things considered, when you make a promise. And you stick to it. One of the things I learned from reading Jung was that there are things in a marriage that you can't have unless you're all in. I believe that. If there's a back door open, to begin with, or a back door opens, then I think there's something about the relationship that's lacking at least, and I think you pay a huge price for that.

I agree. One thing to keep in mind is that society and politics as good as urge betrayal. When something as powerful as government takes the position that betrayal is the norm, that attitude washes over society. Instead of people helping others to be strong we hear, "Oh, it will work out, it's not so bad..."

 

[Canon Shooter]

I can always forgive, but I can never forget.

If someone betrays me, then trust is gone forever. If I make a promise to someone, my word is my bond. I expect, and absolutely demand, nothing less in return...

 

[Circe]

Yeah, betrayal is a relationship-breaker.

I think disloyalty is one form of betrayal. That is, that it's very important to be loyal to allies. No one can compel loyalty! By some abusive person saying "you have to be loyal!" and not leave or call the police or whatever when they are being abusive. But if someone takes on an alliance of any kind, one should accept the person and not be disloyal.

 

[Lysistrata]

When one makes a solemn promise, it can't be with fingers crossed behind one's back. Once trust is broken, the miscreant must work very hard to restore it. Sometimes these efforts might work, if the betrayed person is very strong and committed, but maybe not.