In other news...

[Amelia]

Another winner!

 

[Ame®icano]

... White House announced today another delay in enrollment to fraud called ACA. What they explain as "lagging" sale of fed-sponsored insurance, is widely understood as "no sale". Disappointed in pajama boy campaign, White House is thinking of hiring part-time schizophrenic Mandela sign interpreter to help sell Obamacare.

 

[Ame®icano]

... Belgian officials presented the Comrade O with a life sized gingerbread version of himself wearing slouchy pants and playing basketball. Since Michelle is in China promoting her spring dress collection, dear leader is relieved that he can eat this cooking masterpiece all by himself.

 

[Ame®icano]

... CBS reporter Catherine Anaya claimed that President's press secretary Jay Carney, receives questions from the press in advance. If true, how come that Carney's answers are usually: "I don't know"...

 

[Ame®icano]

... a new study funded by NASA suggests that society may be headed for collapse. NASA funded? Well, they have to do something since their new name NASA stands for - Not Allowed in Space Anymore.

 

[Ame®icano]

... Chicago high schools now offering free condoms to students. If this goes well, next semester they gonna try teaching them to read. You gotta start somewhere. Baby steps.

 

[Amelia]

... CBS reporter Catherine Anaya claimed that President's press secretary Jay Carney, receives questions from the press in advance. If true, how come that Carney's answers are usually: "I don't know"...

lol ... yeah ... I thought about that. If he were getting fed the questions, he wouldn't have such lousy answers, right?

 

[Ame®icano]

... CBS reporter Catherine Anaya claimed that President's press secretary Jay Carney, receives questions from the press in advance. If true, how come that Carney's answers are usually: "I don't know"...

lol ... yeah ... I thought about that. If he were getting fed the questions, he wouldn't have such lousy answers, right?

Unless they receive questions in advance and still don't know the answers.

 

[Ame®icano]

... speaking to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, VP Biden said: "The president's basically put me in charge of this hemisphere." It's still unclear was he talking about his left or right part of brain.

 

[Ame®icano]

... president suggested an "honor system"??? It's like having Al Sharpton asking for grammar test by yelling "enroll in math".

 

[Ame®icano]

... just as YouTube video was a perfect explanation of Benghazi attacks, we can expect that: " IRS actions against tea parties caused by anti-tax YouTube video that was insulting to their faith".

 

[Ame®icano]

... democrats claim that enrollment figure in ObamaFraud reached 7.1 million people. Before anyone point out to their habit of lying about those numbers, everyone should remember that asking for proof is racist.

 

[Ame®icano]

... Harry Reid got caught lying again, denying he claimed all Obamacare victims are liars. So, he lied about lies he told claiming other people were lying about lies Obama told... Damn, being a liberal sounds... exhausting.

 

[Ame®icano]

... in order to avoid spam emails from Nigeria, top government officials were advised to use secret email accounts. Clever IT move got NSA all confused that in order to figure it out they had to go public.

 

[Ame®icano]

... there were 14 shot in Chicago last week. Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers.

 

[Ame®icano]

... TSA wants armed checkpoints at the airports. Yeah sure, to all those guys who flunked sheriff department exams and get little excited around eight years old, lets give them bazooka.

 

[Ame®icano]

... anti bill of rights poster boy and California state senator Leland Yee is looking at some hard time after being busted for arms trafficking. His likely defense? Obama and Holder did it...

 

[Ame®icano]

... in related news, senator Yee was fourth democrat senator in just a week to get arrested. Asked about arrests, democrat party said: "Only four? Well, lot of people are out of time this week."

 

[Ame®icano]

... the Hollywood bubble head Gwyneth Paltrow said that being a movie star mommy is way harder then being some "normal" mother. However, assistant in charge of actually raising Paltrow's kids said kids are really no trouble at all.

 

[Ame®icano]

... facing criticism for attending not one, but two big dollar fundraisers while the Fort Hood crisis unfolded, president "who cares" claimed to be "heartbroken"... Yeah, so heartbroken that he didn't even ate his lobster...