In Bold Speech, Biden Calls On Ships To Stop Crashing Into Bridges

[Votto]

In Bold Speech, Biden Calls On Ships To Stop Crashing Into Bridges
U.S.·Mar 26, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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U.S. — After a cargo ship collided with Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore causing the structure to collapse, President Biden gave a fiery speech in which he unequivocally called on ships everywhere to stop crashing into bridges.
"I mean it, folks! It's gotta stop!" said Biden to a small group of adoring fans in the press. "Ships have to stop with all the bumping into bridges and whatnot. If you're a ship and you're thinking about smashing a bridge, you'd better change your mind right now. I won't stand for it. That goes for trains, too. No more bridge crashing."

Biden then fell asleep standing up, as it had been over 2 hours since his last snooze.
Transportation Secretary Buttigieg also issued a statement from a private chateau where he is spending additional maternity leave with his adopted twins. "What we really need to determine here is if there was racism involved," he said. "Wherever you see large cargo vessels careening into bridges, you can bet that white supremacy is behind it. I promise to address this as soon as I'm back from my maternity leave."
Biden later awoke from his snooze to issue one last dire warning to ships everywhere, and offer hope to the American people. "This essential piece of transportation infrastructure will be built back better," he said. "After spending $300 billion and 32 years, we'll have that ol' bridge back as good as new! Except this time we'll name it after a black hero, such as George Floyd."
At publishing time, Biden was forced to double-down on his bold rhetoric after the Goodyear Blimp collided with the Brooklyn Bridge.

 

[mamooth]

Like I said before, nobody's forcing you to be such a shitty human being.

You choose to do that all on your own.

 

[mudwhistle]

In Bold Speech, Biden Calls On Ships To Stop Crashing Into Bridges
U.S.·Mar 26, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

U.S. — After a cargo ship collided with Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore causing the structure to collapse, President Biden gave a fiery speech in which he unequivocally called on ships everywhere to stop crashing into bridges.
"I mean it, folks! It's gotta stop!" said Biden to a small group of adoring fans in the press. "Ships have to stop with all the bumping into bridges and whatnot. If you're a ship and you're thinking about smashing a bridge, you'd better change your mind right now. I won't stand for it. That goes for trains, too. No more bridge crashing."

Biden then fell asleep standing up, as it had been over 2 hours since his last snooze.
Transportation Secretary Buttigieg also issued a statement from a private chateau where he is spending additional maternity leave with his adopted twins. "What we really need to determine here is if there was racism involved," he said. "Wherever you see large cargo vessels careening into bridges, you can bet that white supremacy is behind it. I promise to address this as soon as I'm back from my maternity leave."
Biden later awoke from his snooze to issue one last dire warning to ships everywhere, and offer hope to the American people. "This essential piece of transportation infrastructure will be built back better," he said. "After spending $300 billion and 32 years, we'll have that ol' bridge back as good as new! Except this time we'll name it after a black hero, such as George Floyd."
At publishing time, Biden was forced to double-down on his bold rhetoric after the Goodyear Blimp collided with the Brooklyn Bridge.

Biden always claims to be connected to everything.

If he goes to a golf course he'll find a way of saying he had something to do with it's creation as a sport.

 

[Flash]

In Bold Speech, Biden Calls On Ships To Stop Crashing Into Bridges
U.S.·Mar 26, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

U.S. — After a cargo ship collided with Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore causing the structure to collapse, President Biden gave a fiery speech in which he unequivocally called on ships everywhere to stop crashing into bridges.
"I mean it, folks! It's gotta stop!" said Biden to a small group of adoring fans in the press. "Ships have to stop with all the bumping into bridges and whatnot. If you're a ship and you're thinking about smashing a bridge, you'd better change your mind right now. I won't stand for it. That goes for trains, too. No more bridge crashing."

Biden then fell asleep standing up, as it had been over 2 hours since his last snooze.
Transportation Secretary Buttigieg also issued a statement from a private chateau where he is spending additional maternity leave with his adopted twins. "What we really need to determine here is if there was racism involved," he said. "Wherever you see large cargo vessels careening into bridges, you can bet that white supremacy is behind it. I promise to address this as soon as I'm back from my maternity leave."
Biden later awoke from his snooze to issue one last dire warning to ships everywhere, and offer hope to the American people. "This essential piece of transportation infrastructure will be built back better," he said. "After spending $300 billion and 32 years, we'll have that ol' bridge back as good as new! Except this time we'll name it after a black hero, such as George Floyd."
At publishing time, Biden was forced to double-down on his bold rhetoric after the Goodyear Blimp collided with the Brooklyn Bridge.

The Bee always gets it right. A lot of their "satire" winds up eventually being the truth.

It wouldn't surprise me if those jackasses did name the bridge after that scumbag Floyd.

 

[Robert W]

Like I said before, nobody's forcing you to be such a shitty human being.

You choose to do that all on your own.

Biden hit the pavement running today after he fucked up so bad over the Railroad crash months and months ahead of him going to see the repairs.

 

[excalibur]

Like I said before, nobody's forcing you to be such a shitty human being.

You choose to do that all on your own.

Like we all say, nobody is forcing you to be such a shitty troll.

You choose to do that all on your own.

 

[Robert W]

The Bee always gets it right. A lot of their "satire" winds up eventually being the truth.

It wouldn't surprise me if those jackasses did name the bridge after that scumbag Floyd.

I have driven through Baltimore a number of times and checked today to see if I have ever been on that bridge. Nope, just the bridges on I-95. This persuaded me that Baltimore is the east coast version of Oakland, Ca.

 

[crossbody]

In Bold Speech, Biden Calls On Ships To Stop Crashing Into Bridges
U.S.·Mar 26, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

U.S. — After a cargo ship collided with Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore causing the structure to collapse, President Biden gave a fiery speech in which he unequivocally called on ships everywhere to stop crashing into bridges.
"I mean it, folks! It's gotta stop!" said Biden to a small group of adoring fans in the press. "Ships have to stop with all the bumping into bridges and whatnot. If you're a ship and you're thinking about smashing a bridge, you'd better change your mind right now. I won't stand for it. That goes for trains, too. No more bridge crashing."

Biden then fell asleep standing up, as it had been over 2 hours since his last snooze.
Transportation Secretary Buttigieg also issued a statement from a private chateau where he is spending additional maternity leave with his adopted twins. "What we really need to determine here is if there was racism involved," he said. "Wherever you see large cargo vessels careening into bridges, you can bet that white supremacy is behind it. I promise to address this as soon as I'm back from my maternity leave."
Biden later awoke from his snooze to issue one last dire warning to ships everywhere, and offer hope to the American people. "This essential piece of transportation infrastructure will be built back better," he said. "After spending $300 billion and 32 years, we'll have that ol' bridge back as good as new! Except this time we'll name it after a black hero, such as George Floyd."
At publishing time, Biden was forced to double-down on his bold rhetoric after the Goodyear Blimp collided with the Brooklyn Bridge.

He's so fake considered the entire bridge was staged and purposely done by the White House to help democrats gain some traction in the polls. It's not going to help them.

 

[Votto]

He's so fake considered the entire bridge was staged and purposely done by the White House to help democrats gain some traction in the polls. It's not going to help them.

I dunno. If it does work, maybe they can do a few more bridges.

It's all about winning elections

Really, that is all that matters.