Why?
Why does Jesus wait until you die? It's damned convenient that he doesn't act while we are still alive. Is it that he can't?
These are his words. "And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment," Hebrews 9:27
Because we are born of sin, you have been given an appointed time, and must die once.
Those are Paul's words, Paul who never met Jesus (assuming Jesus existed)
Paul is a good example. I hope I can explain this well.
I know you're not the OP, but would you do the same of shake your fist and curse at God and be willing to die? Except instead of being struck down like the OP, all you have to do is give up your current life? That may mean leaving a nice job, a lovely wife and family, a nice house, and your standing in the community, and going on the road to serve Jesus. Would you do it? It may not be as extraordinary as what Saul did, considering what the job he did for the Jewish rulers, but still would be something that people will be talking about for years to come.
We know the story of Saul who knew the Jewish law, was a Pharisee, and Christians feared him because he had the power to drag them out of their homes and put them in jail. He had the power to even have them executed. I think he first started when Stephen, an articulate Jesus follower gave a sermon that the Jewish leaders didn't like and became enraged. Stephen was to be tried on the spot, but his legal proceedings quickly became a mob scene and Stephen was stoned to death due to the anger of the mob. Stephen's robes were presented to Saul and he approved. The OP was willing to die, so would he be willing to die like Stephen? I don't think he would. It sounded like he wanted Jesus to strike him dead for other reasons.
Anyway, this man Saul who was powerful and the scourge to Christians was met by Jesus in spirit and through a supernatural miracle became the Apostle Paul to the Gentiles. Paul was not struck down dead, but gave up his life for Jesus. Thus, Saul did not have to wait to be struck down and die. He received his reward by giving up his life to follow Jesus. Can you do that? You wanted Jesus to act while you are still alive didn't you? Would you settle for something unexpected to know or get what you wanted out of this?