I've been non-practicing for years, but now I've finally found a small measure of peace in admitting to myself that it's a giant stick up your arse.
It's nothing but keeping up appearances. What a life ruining nasty religion it is. Jesus would have loathed it.
"Keeping up appearances" is a very odd statement. One of the many things I find peaceful about the Catholic Church is that the congregation is so large I am largely anonymous to all around me. I am lost in the crowd, yet a part of it. No one around me is keeping up any appearance, and I have no appearance to keep up. My experience is that the Catholic faith is everything but keeping up appearances. It is a way of living life.
The Catholic faith saved my life, setting me free, so I am guessing you had an experience that was quite different. As far as the statement Jesus loathes us, that's just not in Christ's nature to begin with. Beyond that, we all know it is nearly impossible to loathe the people that dearly love you--and Catholics dearly love Christ.
The purpose of every faith is to draw one closer to the Father. I am saddened that the Catholic faith failed you--especially to the extent you hate it even though you haven't practiced in years.