AWWWW! You almost had it there. Ok, so what are you going on?
I've tried to write a response to this three times. Each time it ends up being a book rather than a response. Let me see if I can summarize....
I'm not a follower of an Abrahamic religion. I despise organized religion. I see myself as Spiritual rather than religious.
I grew up in a Conservative, Protestant household/family. Early in life I found my personal experiences didn't match with what I heard every Sunday.
As I got older I had paranormal and mirculous experiences that brought me to believe there were both Divine and Grotesque forces at work beyond our knowledge and control; and thst there definitely was existence, if not life, beyond this world.
In 2001 my father passed away from Cancer. He was the most Faithful and decent person I have ever known. I went seat hung for an answer. Nobody in the Religious world had one, thoigh some of hem tried to BS their way through the question. The more Spiritual/New Age groups provided a better, if still incomplete answer and pushed my dear h in different direction.
I then read "When Bad Things Happen to Good People". While I disagree with the author's conclusion, the book providdd me with an Epiphany.... Just because a Deity is Omnipotent and Omniscient doesn't mean they have to be Good or Caring.
After contemplating thst, combined with my other experiences, I came to a somewhat different conclusion thsn mist people....
My viewpoint/faith is thst this world exists solely as a test if the Soul. A test to determine if we csn/will do what's Right, even when it isn't easy or fun. At he end of our lives the Soul is Judged. Souls that have proven themselves worthy are allowed to move on to a Better Place. Souls thst have proven themselves irredeemable are sentenced to an Eternity of pain and torment. The majority of Souls are "reeducated" and returned to try sgain.