Hi BDBoop I am going through something similar with a friend with unfounded accusations.
In my case, his health is too poor to argue with him, so I just have to forgive and let go; and trust if it needs to be corrected the opportunity will come without stressing him out.
With you, it seems the forgiveness "of the whole situation" needs to happen to let go.
And also, there needs to be some steps taken to correct the misperception.
1. can you say you are sorry in general that the conflict happened, that things went wrong to cause the bad feelings, harm or damages to them and to your relationship, and clear some of the emotions out of the way first? First step is to restore trust and working relations, or they will not hear or trust what you say anyway.
That part is for them to forgive, if they can't it is some other issue causing it, not you.
So praying for them to to be freed of fear and unforgiveness "in general" might help.
Sometimes I say it as "I am sorry for anything I did or said wrong to hurt you"
We may not agree on all the things that happened, but I'm sorry for whatever happened to hurt you and our relationship that I value and want to restore. And whatever I did to contribute, I apologize; I never would have done that to hurt you, and do want to correct this problem because I don't want you to suffer and do want our relationship to go back to normal or be even better after we work it out.
2. for the correction part, can you put some things in writing, can you ask help from other family and friends who have good relations with this person where they trust their judgment. can you ask a pastor or counselor for advice, or agree to go see one together?
I imagined writing out a sworn notarized affidavit from me and the other people that we did not do the things I was accused of or letting them do, and even thought about calling a meeting in front of his church to face the accusations against us and state publicly we did not if that is what it took. But I don't think it needs to go that far. With you, if there is a good friend or respected family member who values this person and the relationship where it is "not about you" but about helping them, can you ask someone's advice to work it out?
Keep praying and asking all friends and family to join in prayer.
To prevent from adding to the mistrust, you might first ask this person if you can ask the family to join in praying that this gets resolved because your concern is for them not to carry this burden, and for your relationship, so it is important to establish the truth and agree it is resolved, regardless if you were at fault for whichever part or whatever happened, you want it resolved whatever it takes.
I am currently working my way through some familial issues on a therapeutic front. I know "to err is human, to forgive divine" *even though I don't actually know where the saying is from*. And I grasp the concept of seventy-times-seven. What I'm having trouble with is part of that last bit. And I don't care if you are Christian, pagan, wiccan, atheist, I would just appreciate some feedback.
How do you forgive someone who doesn't want to be forgiven because they don't believe they did anything wrong. Essentially, I'm having trouble just letting go of them believing an untruth about me, no matter how many times we discuss the situation. Not only that, but they think I need to ask their forgiveness for something I didn't do.
The issue in question is several decades old but nobody has picked at the scar for some time now.
I've been praying, meditating - and pretty much posting here to avoid dealing with the fact that I can't seem to come to grips with this issue.
