Does Spanking kids Work?

[Wake]

What does violence engender? More violence, aggression, and anger turned inwards sometimes called depression.

Spanking is not as effective as time out in the long run because time out does not create and reinforce violent tendencies.

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

 

[G.T.]

What does violence engender? More violence, aggression, and anger turned inwards sometimes called depression.

Spanking is not as effective as time out in the long run because time out does not create and reinforce violent tendencies.

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

There's only a problem with his assertion if you, personally, are unwilling to hit your kids.

'Cuz if you're willing to hit your kids since "you turned out just fine," then no, you didn't turn out just fine but were bred with the mentality that hittin is ok thus - violence bred violence.

 

[Asclepias]

What does violence engender? More violence, aggression, and anger turned inwards sometimes called depression.

Spanking is not as effective as time out in the long run because time out does not create and reinforce violent tendencies.

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

It doesnt always turn you into a raging maniac. It may simply break your spirit or it could turn you into a mass murderer. Its proven that you do what you know and always remember you can be reprogrammed.

 

[Wake]

What does violence engender? More violence, aggression, and anger turned inwards sometimes called depression.

Spanking is not as effective as time out in the long run because time out does not create and reinforce violent tendencies.

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

It doesnt always turn you into a raging maniac. It may simply break your spirit or it could turn you into a mass murderer. Its proven that you do what you know and always remember you can be reprogrammed.

It certainly broke my spirit when it came to wanting to stab other children with forks when playing tag, etc. I don't believe spanking can lead to becoming a mass murderer. A few swats on the butt when you're doing dangerous, obscene stuff typical of young children doesn't do that. Beating a child over and over, making him or her truly scared of you, and/or using verbal/emotional abuse certainly can. Let parents paddle their children a little when they misbehave. Put people in prison when they truly abuse their children. These things are not one and the same.... there is so much difference there.

 

[Wake]

What does violence engender? More violence, aggression, and anger turned inwards sometimes called depression.

Spanking is not as effective as time out in the long run because time out does not create and reinforce violent tendencies.

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

There's only a problem with his assertion if you, personally, are unwilling to hit your kids.

'Cuz if you're willing to hit your kids since "you turned out just fine," then no, you didn't turn out just fine but were bred with the mentality that hittin is ok thus - violence bred violence.

I find it dishonest to say that all hitting is bad, and that disciplinary spanking is violence. At the very least, quite the stretch. With all due respect I find it to be sensationally sensitive, too.

Football is violent, isn't it? Ban it, right? So's basketball. People get knocked over or pushed. All hitting is bad hitting, correct? Let's stop doing sports, because we're teaching children that violence is OK and should never be done for entertainment. Oh, and all war, too. If all hitting is bad, then all killing is the devil. And self-defense... And karate, judo, etc. All hitting/physical contact is bad.

 

[G.T.]

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

There's only a problem with his assertion if you, personally, are unwilling to hit your kids.

'Cuz if you're willing to hit your kids since "you turned out just fine," then no, you didn't turn out just fine but were bred with the mentality that hittin is ok thus - violence bred violence.

I find it dishonest to say that all hitting is bad, and that disciplinary spanking is violence. At the very least, quite the stretch. With all due respect I find it to be sensationally sensitive, too.

Football is violent, isn't it? Ban it, right? So's basketball. People get knocked over or pushed. All hitting is bad hitting, correct? Let's stop doing sports, because we're teaching children that violence is OK and should never be done for entertainment. Oh, and all war, too. If all hitting is bad, then all killing is the devil. And self-defense... And karate, judo, etc. All hitting/physical contact is bad.

All physical contact isn't bad if you enter and understand it voluntarily. Your analogy stinks.

But physical punishment from those you trust can break a child mentally. You could say you're lucky you weren't broken, but your kids if you spanked them or their kids kids who have all been passed the norm to hit all run the risk, simply because you couldn't use your brain to develop a better way to teach. It doesn't sound responsible, it sounds like teaching that bigger/stronger = boss/authority.

 

[gnarlylove]

What does violence engender? More violence, aggression, and anger turned inwards sometimes called depression.

Spanking is not as effective as time out in the long run because time out does not create and reinforce violent tendencies.

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

I hear you, I was spanked often and am also a CNA caregiver for 4 years. I tried to be careful with my language and denote tendencies, not necessities. I said we can knead out problems through education whether its self-education or some school environment. But I think it's clear what tendencies emerge for a majority of people who are whipped.

 

[Asclepias]

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

There's only a problem with his assertion if you, personally, are unwilling to hit your kids.

'Cuz if you're willing to hit your kids since "you turned out just fine," then no, you didn't turn out just fine but were bred with the mentality that hittin is ok thus - violence bred violence.

I find it dishonest to say that all hitting is bad, and that disciplinary spanking is violence. At the very least, quite the stretch. With all due respect I find it to be sensationally sensitive, too.

Football is violent, isn't it? Ban it, right? So's basketball. People get knocked over or pushed. All hitting is bad hitting, correct? Let's stop doing sports, because we're teaching children that violence is OK and should never be done for entertainment. Oh, and all war, too. If all hitting is bad, then all killing is the devil. And self-defense... And karate, judo, etc. All hitting/physical contact is bad.

Not speaking for anyone but I believe in the context of raising children violence is bad. Your goal is to raise the most well adjusted human being you are capable of. That human being is looking primarily at you for guidance and instruction on how to handle life problems. Football, Basketball and other sports are voluntary. self defense is necessary (from people beat as children), and war is definitely bad unless again it is in self defense from those that believe violence is the answer.

 

[Wake]

There's only a problem with his assertion if you, personally, are unwilling to hit your kids.

'Cuz if you're willing to hit your kids since "you turned out just fine," then no, you didn't turn out just fine but were bred with the mentality that hittin is ok thus - violence bred violence.

I find it dishonest to say that all hitting is bad, and that disciplinary spanking is violence. At the very least, quite the stretch. With all due respect I find it to be sensationally sensitive, too.

Football is violent, isn't it? Ban it, right? So's basketball. People get knocked over or pushed. All hitting is bad hitting, correct? Let's stop doing sports, because we're teaching children that violence is OK and should never be done for entertainment. Oh, and all war, too. If all hitting is bad, then all killing is the devil. And self-defense... And karate, judo, etc. All hitting/physical contact is bad.

All physical contact isn't bad if you enter and understand it voluntarily. Your analogy stinks.

But physical punishment from those you trust can break a child mentally. You could say you're lucky you weren't broken, but your kids if you spanked them or their kids kids who have all been passed the norm to hit all run the risk, simply because you couldn't use your brain to develop a better way to teach. It doesn't sound responsible, it sounds like teaching that bigger/stronger = boss/authority.

Spanking teaches children to love, respect, and obey their parents. Sometimes it doesn't work, but sometimes it is the only thing that will work. I think it is wrong and dishonest to try and paint spanking as some terrible thing, just as it would be wrong and dishonest to paint lack of discipline and spanking as some terrible thing.

It is not about teaching children that bigger/stronger = boss/authority. No, it's not. Please don't believe that lie. It's about children respecting their parents. There are quite a few people who love and spank their own children, but would never allow some stranger to do it. Why? It is because spanking is done between the parent, and his or her cub; not by some other person and your child.

I will spank my child when he or she does things that put him or her in danger, or others in danger, or when he or she does/says things that are disrespectful to the parent. You are the parent. You are not his or her little buddy. You need to remember that your child is not your equal while he or she is under your roof.

...do you allow your children to talk back to you? To whine and moan and scream and shout and curse you? If you let that happen, you're teaching your child to not fear you, and if he or she doesn't fear you, that child isn't going to fear or respect anyone else. Give an inch and they'll take a mile, my friend. If somehow non-physical discipline works for you, you're extremely fortunate.

 

[Bumberclyde]

Spanking teaches children to solve problems with violence. Great lesson.

 

[G.T.]

I find it dishonest to say that all hitting is bad, and that disciplinary spanking is violence. At the very least, quite the stretch. With all due respect I find it to be sensationally sensitive, too.

Football is violent, isn't it? Ban it, right? So's basketball. People get knocked over or pushed. All hitting is bad hitting, correct? Let's stop doing sports, because we're teaching children that violence is OK and should never be done for entertainment. Oh, and all war, too. If all hitting is bad, then all killing is the devil. And self-defense... And karate, judo, etc. All hitting/physical contact is bad.

All physical contact isn't bad if you enter and understand it voluntarily. Your analogy stinks.

But physical punishment from those you trust can break a child mentally. You could say you're lucky you weren't broken, but your kids if you spanked them or their kids kids who have all been passed the norm to hit all run the risk, simply because you couldn't use your brain to develop a better way to teach. It doesn't sound responsible, it sounds like teaching that bigger/stronger = boss/authority.

Spanking teaches children to love, respect, and obey their parents. Sometimes it doesn't work, but sometimes it is the only thing that will work. I think it is wrong and dishonest to try and paint spanking as some terrible thing, just as it would be wrong and dishonest to paint lack of discipline and spanking as some terrible thing.

It is not about teaching children that bigger/stronger = boss/authority. No, it's not. Please don't believe that lie. It's about children respecting their parents. There are quite a few people who love and spank their own children, but would never allow some stranger to do it. Why? It is because spanking is done between the parent, and his or her cub; not by some other person and your child.

I will spank my child when he or she does things that put him or her in danger, or others in danger, or when he or she does/says things that are disrespectful to the parent. You are the parent. You are not his or her little buddy. You need to remember that your child is not your equal while he or she is under your roof.

...do you allow your children to talk back to you? To whine and moan and scream and shout and curse you? If you let that happen, you're teaching your child to not fear you, and if he or she doesn't fear you, that child isn't going to fear or respect anyone else. Give an inch and they'll take a mile, my friend. If somehow non-physical discipline works for you, you're extremely fortunate.

first of all, you cant call something "dishonest" when it's a matter of un-provable opinion which opinion is correct. That's just shameful.

We disagree, and your own parents have proven that spanking you has lead you to believe that spanking is ok, and so in my opinion just like everyone who studies mental health for a professional living says: violence bred violence.

Your child does not need to fear you in order to respect your authority.

I see the challenge here is that you (in my opinion) do not know how to achieve respect for authority without the threat of physical punishment. That is a lapse in creativity, judgment, and intelligence in my opinion. It's a betrayal.

 

[G.T.]

Spanking teaches children to solve problems with violence. Great lesson.

Exactly true.

 

[Wake]

What does violence engender? More violence, aggression, and anger turned inwards sometimes called depression.

Spanking is not as effective as time out in the long run because time out does not create and reinforce violent tendencies.

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

I hear you, I was spanked often and am also a CNA caregiver for 4 years. I tried to be careful with my language and denote tendencies, not necessities. I said we can knead out problems through education whether its self-education or some school environment. But I think it's clear what tendencies emerge for a majority of people who are whipped.

...that bolded word.

I don't believe in whipping children. Or belting. Or whupping. Or kicking, punching, or beating. A thin paddle to swat the butt a bit. NOT swinging hard like you're aiming to break a melon, either.

What happens when the child will not listen to or obey you? When he's kicking and punching you because he doesn't fear you? When she doesn't give a damn about anything you say or command? What happens when he stabs or hits your other child, or breaks your other child's tooth out? What's gonna drive home the message that it's NOT ok? What happens when your child gives you the "screw you" look when you say "go to your room", and then goes somewhere else? What happens when EVERY other option short of sending him to jail doesn't work?

My friend, what do you do when your child doesn't fear you, and thinks him or herself the parent... over you? How do you prove that you are sovereign over your cub?

Talking? Pleading? Bargaining? Begging? Child don't care who you are. He thinks you can take a hike. She don't fear you. He owns you. Can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

 

[G.T.]

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

I hear you, I was spanked often and am also a CNA caregiver for 4 years. I tried to be careful with my language and denote tendencies, not necessities. I said we can knead out problems through education whether its self-education or some school environment. But I think it's clear what tendencies emerge for a majority of people who are whipped.

...that bolded word.

I don't believe in whipping children. Or belting. Or whupping. Or kicking, punching, or beating. A thin paddle to swat the butt a bit. NOT swinging hard like you're aiming to break a melon, either.

What happens when the child will not listen to or obey you? When he's kicking and punching you because he doesn't fear you? When she doesn't give a damn about anything you say or command? What happens when he stabs or hits your other child, or breaks your other child's tooth out? What's gonna drive home the message that it's NOT ok? What happens when your child gives you the "screw you" look when you say "go to your room", and then goes somewhere else? What happens when EVERY other option short of sending him to jail doesn't work?

My friend, what do you do when your child doesn't fear you, and thinks him or herself the parent... over you? How do you prove that you are sovereign over your cub?

Talking? Pleading? Bargaining? Begging? Child don't care who you are. He thinks you can take a hike. She don't fear you. He owns you. Can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

That sounds like a child that was raised wrong.

children can be explained the reasoning behind the rules, they are not idiots they do understand.

whats dishonest though is saying belting you'd never do but spanking is ok............

why?

Because if you aren't inflicting PAIN then the SPANKING is irrelevant to your process.

 

[Wake]

I hear you, I was spanked often and am also a CNA caregiver for 4 years. I tried to be careful with my language and denote tendencies, not necessities. I said we can knead out problems through education whether its self-education or some school environment. But I think it's clear what tendencies emerge for a majority of people who are whipped.

...that bolded word.

I don't believe in whipping children. Or belting. Or whupping. Or kicking, punching, or beating. A thin paddle to swat the butt a bit. NOT swinging hard like you're aiming to break a melon, either.

What happens when the child will not listen to or obey you? When he's kicking and punching you because he doesn't fear you? When she doesn't give a damn about anything you say or command? What happens when he stabs or hits your other child, or breaks your other child's tooth out? What's gonna drive home the message that it's NOT ok? What happens when your child gives you the "screw you" look when you say "go to your room", and then goes somewhere else? What happens when EVERY other option short of sending him to jail doesn't work?

My friend, what do you do when your child doesn't fear you, and thinks him or herself the parent... over you? How do you prove that you are sovereign over your cub?

Talking? Pleading? Bargaining? Begging? Child don't care who you are. He thinks you can take a hike. She don't fear you. He owns you. Can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

That sounds like a child that was raised wrong.

children can be explained the reasoning behind the rules, they are not idiots they do understand.

whats dishonest though is saying belting you'd never do but spanking is ok............

why?

Because if you aren't inflicting PAIN then the SPANKING is irrelevant to your process.

Sometimes children's brains aren't fully deformed. They can do pretty crazy, dangerous things. Children can't always be explained the reasoning behind the rules. Some may not be fully self-conscious, either. Some don't understand, some don't want to, some don't care, and others are very aware of what you want but aren't going to obey you.

Belting inflicts more damage than spanking. You're taking a piece of metal that's typically attacked to a length of leather, and whipping the child's butt with it. THAT can leave a mark. A thin piece of wood on a cloth-covered hiney doesn't.

Different levels of pain, and one can cause real damage, like marks or broken skin. Of all the countless times my clothed butt's been paddled, I've never, ever had a mark or worse.

 

[Wake]

And I need to say that I have no problem with any of you guys who disagree with me on this. I have absolutely no doubt you all love your children, or will love them when you have them. We just disagree a bit on how to go about disciplining the little ones. If I could I'd invite all you guys here out for a beer.

 

[Bumberclyde]

And I need to say that I have no problem with any of you guys who disagree with me on this. I have absolutely no doubt you all love your children, or will love them when you have them. We just disagree a bit on how to go about disciplining the little ones. If I could I'd invite all you guys here out for a beer.

Would we get to watch you pummel your kids?

 

[Asclepias]

But...

...there's a problem with this assertion.

My existence. I was spanked quite a bit. Yet, I am a very happy, caring, gentle, loving CNA/caregiver. My very job is caring for people. Since being spanked and growing up, I've never been violent, so...? It just seems a bit wrong when that assertion is completely unable to reconcile my being.

I hear you, I was spanked often and am also a CNA caregiver for 4 years. I tried to be careful with my language and denote tendencies, not necessities. I said we can knead out problems through education whether its self-education or some school environment. But I think it's clear what tendencies emerge for a majority of people who are whipped.

...that bolded word.

I don't believe in whipping children. Or belting. Or whupping. Or kicking, punching, or beating. A thin paddle to swat the butt a bit. NOT swinging hard like you're aiming to break a melon, either.

What happens when the child will not listen to or obey you? When he's kicking and punching you because he doesn't fear you? When she doesn't give a damn about anything you say or command? What happens when he stabs or hits your other child, or breaks your other child's tooth out? What's gonna drive home the message that it's NOT ok? What happens when your child gives you the "screw you" look when you say "go to your room", and then goes somewhere else? What happens when EVERY other option short of sending him to jail doesn't work?

My friend, what do you do when your child doesn't fear you, and thinks him or herself the parent... over you? How do you prove that you are sovereign over your cub?

Talking? Pleading? Bargaining? Begging? Child don't care who you are. He thinks you can take a hike. She don't fear you. He owns you. Can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

At that point its a battle of wills. Your child can be picked up and placed in their room or time out spot for as many time as it is necessary to get your point across. When they understand your will is stronger than theirs they will get the picture. You will not have resorted to violence and the lesson lasts a whole lot longer. My oldest daughter tested me when she was 3 or 4 and this went on for almost 4 hours.

 

[Montrovant]

I hear you, I was spanked often and am also a CNA caregiver for 4 years. I tried to be careful with my language and denote tendencies, not necessities. I said we can knead out problems through education whether its self-education or some school environment. But I think it's clear what tendencies emerge for a majority of people who are whipped.

...that bolded word.

I don't believe in whipping children. Or belting. Or whupping. Or kicking, punching, or beating. A thin paddle to swat the butt a bit. NOT swinging hard like you're aiming to break a melon, either.

What happens when the child will not listen to or obey you? When he's kicking and punching you because he doesn't fear you? When she doesn't give a damn about anything you say or command? What happens when he stabs or hits your other child, or breaks your other child's tooth out? What's gonna drive home the message that it's NOT ok? What happens when your child gives you the "screw you" look when you say "go to your room", and then goes somewhere else? What happens when EVERY other option short of sending him to jail doesn't work?

My friend, what do you do when your child doesn't fear you, and thinks him or herself the parent... over you? How do you prove that you are sovereign over your cub?

Talking? Pleading? Bargaining? Begging? Child don't care who you are. He thinks you can take a hike. She don't fear you. He owns you. Can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

At that point its a battle of wills. Your child can be picked up and placed in their room or time out spot for as many time as it is necessary to get your point across. When they understand your will is stronger than theirs they will get the picture. You will not have resorted to violence and the lesson lasts a whole lot longer. My oldest daughter tested me when she was 3 or 4 and this went on for almost 4 hours.

At that point are you not teaching the same lesson that bigger/stronger = right, though? The only reason you are able to teach the lesson is your ability to prevent the child from doing what they want physically.

 

[Asclepias]

...that bolded word.

I don't believe in whipping children. Or belting. Or whupping. Or kicking, punching, or beating. A thin paddle to swat the butt a bit. NOT swinging hard like you're aiming to break a melon, either.

What happens when the child will not listen to or obey you? When he's kicking and punching you because he doesn't fear you? When she doesn't give a damn about anything you say or command? What happens when he stabs or hits your other child, or breaks your other child's tooth out? What's gonna drive home the message that it's NOT ok? What happens when your child gives you the "screw you" look when you say "go to your room", and then goes somewhere else? What happens when EVERY other option short of sending him to jail doesn't work?

My friend, what do you do when your child doesn't fear you, and thinks him or herself the parent... over you? How do you prove that you are sovereign over your cub?

Talking? Pleading? Bargaining? Begging? Child don't care who you are. He thinks you can take a hike. She don't fear you. He owns you. Can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

At that point its a battle of wills. Your child can be picked up and placed in their room or time out spot for as many time as it is necessary to get your point across. When they understand your will is stronger than theirs they will get the picture. You will not have resorted to violence and the lesson lasts a whole lot longer. My oldest daughter tested me when she was 3 or 4 and this went on for almost 4 hours.

At that point are you not teaching the same lesson that bigger/stronger = right, though? The only reason you are able to teach the lesson is your ability to prevent the child from doing what they want physically.

I dont think so. She was not afraid at all and fought me the whole time. She finally realized I was not going to stop and she had to do what I told her to do. Maybe it could have been a bigger is stronger thing but it had nothing to do with violence. If she was a meek person now I might agree with you but to this day she has no fear of anyone no matter how big they are.