Zone1 Divorce - The BIGGEST "Red Flag" of them all

[Kruska]

My first wife and I were heavy drinkers and I liked my reefer as well. We somehow managed to stay married for 7 years (with periods of separation). I ended up divorcing her when she had a baby from another man. It was generally volatile and was destined to fail if we didn't both step off of the path we were on.

I ended up getting sober. She continued drinking long after we were divorced.

The bottom line is that we didn't understand what marriage entailed (I was 20 at the time) and we married for the wrong reasons.

Wow - that kind off sucks. and congrats for getting sober - must have been challenging for you or anyone.

I am a very sportive, active and very vision/optical- focused man. aka sexual attractiveness of a women is for me a #1.

I asked, begged, pleaded with my first wife for 4-5 years upon her reaching 35- to get back into some sport, activities to control her body and looks. She just didn't want to listen - so I lastly filed for a divorce, though otherwise we had a very good partnership.

Got married again to another great looking and sporty women some 8 years later - and since two years now she stopped sports and is getting "rounder"

 

[Unkotare]

Someone just private messaged me about you. He said The thing is, I've never seen him add anything to a thread.

So I'm not alone.

I really don’t care what Joeblow thinks.

 

[Unkotare]

Wow - that kind off sucks. and congrats for getting sober - must have been challenging for you or anyone.

I am a very sportive, active and very vision/optical- focused man. aka sexual attractiveness of a women is for me a #1.

I asked, begged, pleaded with my first wife for 4-5 years upon her reaching 35- to get back into some sport, activities to control her body and looks. She just didn't want to listen - so I lastly filed for a divorce, though otherwise we had a very good partnership.

Got married again to another great looking and sporty women some 8 years later - and since two years now she stopped sports and is getting "rounder"

 

[LibertyWeeps]

Two words: Prenuptial Agreement. Both sides should draw up an agreement they can live with. If two people can't agree on a prenup, they most likely will not agree on most things and the marriage will fail, leading to a divorce. I think prenups can avoid most bad marriages and most divorces.

A lot of people believe a prenup is a precursor to divorce.
If you HAVE to get a prenup, then there's no trust of any kind there to begin with.

 

[Hafar1014]

People today, interested in relationships and marriage all talking about RED FLAGS, yet they IGNORE the biggest red flag of them all.

Divorce is a HUGE, GIGANTIC RED FLAG all on its own.

Divorce means one of them, or both of them don't have a clue how a relationship works, much less do they acknowledge the fact that one or both of them can't be bothered to admit to, or work on problems.....especially extreme narcissism and emotional baggage.

Not something I'd ever do to myself!!! Never get involved with divorced people.

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Some actual suport for your idea would help

 

[LibertyWeeps]

Some actual suport for your idea would help

Well, lets see.................

This country having the highest divorce rates on the planet.
People talking about divorce before they even get married.
All the news stories and online stories about people killing each other because one of them said or did something insignificant that outraged the other one.

Etc.....

 

[Dorian Mode]

A lot of people believe a prenup is a precursor to divorce.
If you HAVE to get a prenup, then there's no trust of any kind there to begin with.

Ask 100 divorced men if they wish they had gotten a prenup before marriage. This is no longer 1950, society is no longer focused on relationships, it is laser focused on money. Good luck finding someone today you trust 100% who doesn't eventually divorce you for financial gain. The odds are very much against you. I got lucky, I am married for 31 years now and our marriage is stronger than ever. I didn't ask for a prenup, but I also didn't marry an American woman, I married a family-oriented Italian. Most of my friends have been through at least 1 bitter divorce and those that didn't have a prenup were destroyed. FAFO.

 

[Dorian Mode]

Well, lets see.................

This country having the highest divorce rates on the planet.
People talking about divorce before they even get married.
All the news stories and online stories about people killing each other because one of them said or did something insignificant that outraged the other one.

Etc.....

Things have change significantly during my life, and if I were young today I would avoid serious relationships and above all having children. People no longer have the patience and the empathy to be in serious relationships. Society revolves around Me Me Me and Mo' Money! today and it is a horrible environment to raise children in. America's problems are not political, they're social because our social fabric has been disintegrated.

 

[Luckyone]

People today, interested in relationships and marriage all talking about RED FLAGS, yet they IGNORE the biggest red flag of them all.

Divorce is a HUGE, GIGANTIC RED FLAG all on its own.

Divorce means one of them, or both of them don't have a clue how a relationship works, much less do they acknowledge the fact that one or both of them can't be bothered to admit to, or work on problems.....especially extreme narcissism and emotional baggage.

Not something I'd ever do to myself!!! Never get involved with divorced people.

View attachment 1224674

Getting divorced whe young is somewhat expected, given that when young you are in the process of learning, but getting a 2nd divorce is a warning sign, as it means you did NOT learn.

There are a few basics that need to in the marriage from both people. Those are openness ( no lying), sharing equally, accepting no one is ever perfect, meaning ignoring the negatives and keying on the positives, and making your partner more important than yourself!

My first marriage was horrible. I learned the lessons that needed to be learned. My 2nd marriage has been great. Everything I mentioned above, I have done and this now is my wife for the rest of our lives!

 

[initforme]

Divorce simply is a great avenue for upwards of half of marriages. Its simply not a bad thing.

 

[LibertyWeeps]

Getting divorced whe young is somewhat expected, given that when young you are in the process of learning, but getting a 2nd divorce is a warning sign, as it means you did NOT learn.

There are a few basics that need to in the marriage from both people. Those are openness ( no lying), sharing equally, accepting no one is ever perfect, meaning ignoring the negatives and keying on the positives, and making your partner more important than yourself!

My first marriage was horrible. I learned the lessons that needed to be learned. My 2nd marriage has been great. Everything I mentioned above, I have done and this now is my wife for the rest of our lives!

Age has nothing to do with it.

It's all about learning about each other. This is why there were courtship rituals in place back when.

You dated, got to know each other on a personal level...........for years. BEFORE taking it to the next level of being proposed to.
No, it wasn't foolproof, but it was a good sifting measure to make sure you were both compatible at least 80% or more.

Nowadays, they meet at a bar or online (never face to face), then have sex and decide to move in together. And the ones who get married, well.........it all starts to fall apart. Because there was NO courtship process in place......it's just WHAM, BAM, I'm movin in!!!!

The FEW people I've know who are still "old fashioned" in the ways they teach their kids today, have kids who follow courtship rules and more often than not, have lifelong lasting marriages.

 

[initforme]

Age has nothing to do with it.

It's all about learning about each other. This is why there were courtship rituals in place back when.

You dated, got to know each other on a personal level...........for years. BEFORE taking it to the next level of being proposed to.
No, it wasn't foolproof, but it was a good sifting measure to make sure you were both compatible at least 80% or more.

Nowadays, they meet at a bar or online (never face to face), then have sex and decide to move in together. And the ones who get married, well.........it all starts to fall apart. Because there was NO courtship process in place......it's just WHAM, BAM, I'm movin in!!!!

The FEW people I've know who are still "old fashioned" in the ways they teach their kids today, have kids who follow courtship rules and more often than not, have lifelong lasting marriages.

Those days. Never coming back.

 

[LibertyWeeps]

Those days. Never coming back.

Only if you allow them to die.

 

[Luckyone]

Age has nothing to do with it.

It's all about learning about each other. This is why there were courtship rituals in place back when.

You dated, got to know each other on a personal level...........for years. BEFORE taking it to the next level of being proposed to.
No, it wasn't foolproof, but it was a good sifting measure to make sure you were both compatible at least 80% or more.

Nowadays, they meet at a bar or online (never face to face), then have sex and decide to move in together. And the ones who get married, well.........it all starts to fall apart. Because there was NO courtship process in place......it's just WHAM, BAM, I'm movin in!!!!

The FEW people I've know who are still "old fashioned" in the ways they teach their kids today, have kids who follow courtship rules and more often than not, have lifelong lasting marriages.

By nature, young men/women know less (have less experience) than older people!

 

[MarathonMike]

Trump has been divorced what, 3 times? So there is some truth to the fact that some divorcees are truly crummy people.

In most cases, whether someone is divorced or not has nothing to do with future success or failures in relationships.

Stage 4 TDSer had to jump in and interject her Trump smear. Jeez Looueez.

 

[HikerGuy83]

Want my advice? Don't get relationship advice on the Internet. Don't get medical advice on the Internet. Don't get financial advice on the Internet. Ask your real friends who know you and care about you. Don't have any friends? Get some. They come in real handy sometimes.

Why look for the right person?

Be the right person.

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

People today, interested in relationships and marriage all talking about RED FLAGS, yet they IGNORE the biggest red flag of them all.

Divorce is a HUGE, GIGANTIC RED FLAG all on its own.

Divorce means one of them, or both of them don't have a clue how a relationship works, much less do they acknowledge the fact that one or both of them can't be bothered to admit to, or work on problems.....especially extreme narcissism and emotional baggage.

Not something I'd ever do to myself!!! Never get involved with divorced people.

View attachment 1224674

My wife was divorced when we started dating, but married when we first met. I knew her first husband and they were never going to be successful together because of him. She was just fine, so I married her without a thought as to her being divorced.

 

[HikerGuy83]

Getting laid a lot up there in Canada, are ya? Hard to believe even a polar bear would take a second look at you.

Now....THAT WAS FUNNY!

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

Hence less people are getting married and having kids...a positive trend

Methusaleh brings forth his dark cloud of despair!

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

Divorce simply is a great avenue for upwards of half of marriages. Its simply not a bad thing.

The Methusaleh brings forth another dark cloud from his miserable existence,