Disney Hoping To Revive Star Wars So They Can Kill It Again

[Votto]

Disney Hoping To Revive Star Wars So They Can Kill It Again​

Entertainment·Jun 1, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

BURBANK, CA — Following a precipitous fall at the box office for The Mandalorian and Grogu, reports circulated that Disney executives called an urgent meeting with Lucasfilm to come up with a plan to revive the floundering Star Wars franchise so they could kill it again.

After watching the new movie fall to third place behind small-budget indie horror films Backrooms and Obsession, Disney reportedly scheduled an emergency meeting with the top executives from Lucasfilm to brainstorm strategies to get Star Wars back on track and give the corporation a chance to completely wreck it again in the future.

"We need it to be healthy and successful so we can destroy it," said Josh D'Amaro, new CEO of The Walt Disney Company. "We've put a ton of money and other resources into purchasing and absolutely annihilating Star Wars over the last decade and a half, so it's of the utmost importance that we do whatever is necessary to resuscitate the IP so we can kill it again later."

Lucasfilm leadership was said to be on board with the plan. "We've done it once, so we know we can do it again," President and CCO Dave Filoni reportedly said at the meeting. "We'll work hard to get it back up and rolling again before we infest it with progressive ideology and lackluster storytelling to run it back into the ground."

At publishing time, rumors indicated that Lucasfilm was prepared to bring back all the fans' most beloved legacy characters so they could once again kill them off one by one in meaningless ways in favor of newer, underdeveloped characters.

 

[MisterBeale]

Eventually the corporatacracy will likely reach a point of singularity, at the point, they can make that Star Wars/Star Trek crossover - and wreck them together again.

 

[toobfreak]

Disney Hoping To Revive Star Wars So They Can Kill It Again​

Here's an idea for Disney to cogitate:
How about Shrek Meets The Jedi?

At publishing time, rumors indicated that Lucasfilm was prepared to bring back all the fans' most beloved legacy characters

Wouldn't that be the kicker? They use AI to bring back Hans Solo, Princess Leia, Luke and the Wookie all as they originally were?

Disney got skunked. They stupidly believed the success and popularity of Star Wars was like Star Trek where anything with the name Star Wars would sell just so long at it had Deathstars, Imperial Forces, Jedis and a Rebellion in it, when in fact, the storyboard was really just a backdrop for what made Star Wars successful: the camaraderie of the original cast and characters.

At least the 2nd three movies were still about Darth Vader and many of the original cast as their younger selves to flesh out the original story-line.

Lucas totally gamed them into coughing up a fortune for a franchise that was now dying. They even tried to pump their first effort up by bribing Carrie, Hamill, and Harrison to come back one last time to reprise their roles.

They may touch upon a few good new elements but the Star Wars magic is gone.