Depression

[BDBoop]

Sometimes I fight it, sometimes I just give in.

21 Comics That Capture The Frustrations Of Depression

Allie Brosh is the author/creator of Hyperbole and a Half. She landed a book deal, and ... disappeared. For like a year. She crawled out long enough to do this post;

Hyperbole and a Half: Adventures in Depression

But trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms trying to punch themselves until their hands grow back. A fundamental component of the plan is missing and it isn't going to work.

And then disappeared some more.

From my own experience with a lifetime of depression, sometimes debilitating, I can tell you that that particular blog entry hit home.

Just now, I saw Wil Weaton's post on depression.

http://wilwheaton.net/2013/10/i-got-better/?fb_source=pubv1

So I got better, and that’s the reason I’m putting these words down right now. I have depression, but depression doesn’t have me. I have bad days, I have really terrible days, and I have MMMMMARRAAAHHH days, like I did yesterday. Those days suck, but they always pass, and knowing why they happen, even if I can’t control them, gives me a great deal of comfort on the truly awful days.

If you’d told me yesterday, when I was at the nadir of my MMMMMARRAAAHHH that I would spend significant time today sitting in a room with people I like, alternately laughing my ass off and marveling at how clever and creative they are, I probably would have told you to stop being mean to me, because there was no way I’d ever be happy again.

And yet.

Thank you, hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-I’ve-never-met, for being kind to me when I was having a really MMMMMARRAAAHHH day. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

I think the worst part about depression is feeling like every. single. bullet. out there has your name on it. What most people do naturally (don't take it personally) I have to make a conscious effort to accomplish (disengage). I need to realize that even if somebody is busily pummeling me - it's not actually about me.

But the good news on the bad news front is that is not a constant. Much of the time, I could care. But if I'm not careful. If I don't take care of myself. If I don't pay attention when things start slipping away? I'm screwed.

I am really, REALLY grateful for the internet. Finding out that there are many in my shoes, and it's not something I need to be disgusted with myself for "not handling better" has been a major aid in finding my way on the bad days. Researching and recognizing the genetics that I am up against helps as well.

Anyway. There are a lot of mis-perceptions about depression. My personal favorite is "But you're so funny!" ....... Thank you? Many funny people fight or fought depression. Drew Carey, Jim Carrey, Rosie O'Donnell, Richard Jeni. Richard was so funny I'd have to hit pause because I couldn't hear him, I was laughing so hard. And then he shot himself at the age of fifty.

Since I don't know how to end this post, I'll just put up one of my favorite Jeni bits.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDM_96X40BU]Richard Jeni A Big Steaming Pile Of Me CLIP - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

I don't believe I have ever suffered from actual clinical depression. I get depressed now and again, but it's usually fleeting. I have other demons to fight, though. Anxiety and panic.

Seems like there is a lot of suffering in the world. Wonder what the purpose of it all is. Seems kind of ridiculous sometimes. Futile. Meaningless. Hmmm. Maybe I am depressed.

 

[BDBoop]

I don't believe I have ever suffered from actual clinical depression. I get depressed now and again, but it's usually fleeting. I have other demons to fight, though. Anxiety and panic.

Seems like there is a lot of suffering in the world. Wonder what the purpose of it all is. Seems kind of ridiculous sometimes. Futile. Meaningless. Hmmm. Maybe I am depressed.

I know I have never suffered from severe depression, of the Vincent Van Gogh variety or level. I have suffered from mild to moderate. Anxiety and panic are doozies, and yet another reason I am glad to work at home, so I can just toss off my headset and chant "Nobody is going to hurt you. Nothing bad is coming. Breathe. It's okay. Breathe deep."

In a strange, alternate world where we could choose our own poisons, I would choose the panic/anxiety over rage any day of the week.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Try being a Marine and admitting you have depression. The ONLY reason I did is because my MSgt had me take him to the psyc ward when he was depressed. I had choices and the only reason that was one was because of him.

Hell when they did the going away thing they couldn't admit I was being medically retired. And when I told everyone it probably pissed the bosses off.

I don't know about now but in 94 and 95 the marines I served with that last year sure did not know how to handle the information. Mostly those I considered friends shunned me. And the leaders avoided me.

I have lived my whole life with depression, until Dec 4th 1994 it was always under control. I lost my mom the year before and I think she was what kept me together. I knew if I ever had to talk to someone she was it.

It took 10 years to find the right medication. It was a tough 10 years. Seems once I lost it I just couldn't get it under control again.

I have recurring major depression and dystimea ( ok I don't know how to spell that word) a constant level of depression all the time. I have constant suicidal thoughts, the meds make it so I can just ignore them.

But I am a VERY stubborn person. My family needs me as I am the bread earner. I couldn't kill myself and do that to them. There were days I laid in bed unmoving because as stubborn as I am if I got up I would have killed myself.

Depression is real and anyone that doubts it is an idiot. Like Eots on this board, he thinks one can just shrug it off. He has said medication is crutch or is bad for EVERYONE.

What ever works to control or survive the depression, more power to you.

And yes knowledge helps but in the depths of depression nothing helps much.

 

[Kooshdakhaa]

For panic I've learned to say..."It's just adrenalin, it can't hurt you. It's perfectly normal, it's just misplaced right now." It actually helps. I also tell myself that it may be unpleasant, but it won't hurt me and to just ride it out.

I also tell myself, "No catastrophic interpretations!!!" That's because people with these conditions tend to put catastrophic interpretations on bodily feelings and sensations. They feel short of breath, they're dying of a heart attack. They feel a bit light-headed, they're dying of a stroke. And those kind of catastrophic interpretations just escalate the panic.

Need any help with that "home work" BDBoop? I need some extra income!

 

[Lumpy 1]

I tried depression but I really didn't like it, so I cheered up...


I look for ways to be happy, it's the best that I can do...

 

[BDBoop]

Try being a Marine and admitting you have depression. The ONLY reason I did is because my MSgt had me take him to the psyc ward when he was depressed. I had choices and the only reason that was one was because of him.

Hell when they did the going away thing they couldn't admit I was being medically retired. And when I told everyone it probably pissed the bosses off.

I don't know about now but in 94 and 95 the marines I served with that last year sure did not know how to handle the information. Mostly those I considered friends shunned me. And the leaders avoided me.

I have lived my whole life with depression, until Dec 4th 1994 it was always under control. I lost my mom the year before and I think she was what kept me together. I knew if I ever had to talk to someone she was it.

It took 10 years to find the right medication. It was a tough 10 years. Seems once I lost it I just couldn't get it under control again.

I have recurring major depression and dystimea ( ok I don't know how to spell that word) a constant level of depression all the time. I have constant suicidal thoughts, the meds make it so I can just ignore them.

But I am a VERY stubborn person. My family needs me as I am the bread earner. I couldn't kill myself and do that to them. There were days I laid in bed unmoving because as stubborn as I am if I got up I would have killed myself.

Depression is real and anyone that doubts it is an idiot. Like Eots on this board, he thinks one can just shrug it off. He has said medication is crutch or is bad for EVERYONE.

What ever works to control or survive the depression, more power to you.

And yes knowledge helps but in the depths of depression nothing helps much.

I know this is a trite phrase but I mean it with everything in me.

Thank you for sharing.

My big 'incident' happened at work. I don't remember specifics, just that I started crying. I couldn't stop. This was in a call center - so I cried my way into the bathroom. After maybe ten minutes, a supervisor came and got me, sent me to the psych center. So I cried my way across town, into the center where I was found to not be a danger to myself or anyone else, over to the ER, where I cried in the waiting room until they came and got me. Cried my way through that chat and over to the pharmacy to get my 'happy pills' *that pisses me right the fuck off. They're not 'happy pills' if you are in the Pits of Despair. They just put the nerve endings back on so you can survive without every word out there being meant to tear your heart out.*

All my husband had to say is "You still have a job, right?" "Yes, honey. I think I broke my mind - but I still have a job, bless your lil pea-pickin heart."

And now I don't know what I'm on for anxiety because oh would you look at that. Apparently I've been off that particular med since I switched to Target Pharmacy.

What. The. Fuck.

We're gonna have a come-to-Jesus chat.

 

[asaratis]

...but I did spent the night at Holiday Inn Express a few times.

Depression is definitely real to a heap of people. My empathy for depressives is heart felt. I was manic depressive for a while between marriages. Drugs (thorazine) did nothing but insulate me from the problem. I didn't care that I was depressed. I told my CP that I would not take it anymore...also that I would not be coming to see him anymore. Over a period of time (actually a short while) I cured myself with a simple rule...love and respect EVERYTHING! You gotta be CRAZY to love and respect a TICONDEROGA #2HB wooden pencil...and milk spilled on the floor, but it worked for me. I found myself breaking fewer pencils, throwing fewer things, hating fewer people (though I still hate radical terrorists, pedophiles, rapists, murderers and those that prey on the handicapped and elderly, and those that are cruel to animals. I still hate THINGS like Marxism, communism, liberalism, anti-Semitism, jokes about impaired people, racism, dishonesty and hate for hate's sake.

I am a live-and-let-live kind of guy with no hatred of you (unless you reside in the aforementioned list)...but I may have hatred for what you do.

Depression is a state of mind. Shift gears. Love and respect EVERYTHING!...including yourself!

 

[eots]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LY7r-sE0hwc]Is Abilify right for you ?...soundtrack The eots - YouTube[/ame]

 

[BDBoop]

Sounds like you had an anger management issues? And I've never heard of bipolar being temporary. It's a literal chemical imbalance in the brain.

 

[eots]

Sounds like you had an anger management issues? And I've never heard of bipolar being temporary. It's a literal chemical imbalance in the brain.

What evidence do you have that it is a chemical imbalance in the brain ?

 

[eots]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARZ2Wv2BoFs]Peter Breggin, MD: Do You Have a Biochemical Imbalance? Simple Truths About Psychiatry - YouTube[/ame]

 

[BDBoop]

Sounds like you had an anger management issues? And I've never heard of bipolar being temporary. It's a literal chemical imbalance in the brain.

What evidence do you have that it is a chemical imbalance in the brain ?

You want a debate, you'll need to find somebody else to chat with.

 

[Gracie]

When I have my bouts...I go to Pinterest and look at the beautiful pics. No words needed. Nobody missing my lack of words. No being under pressure to do anything. And when that doesn't help..I chant. Oh ma nee pawd may hum. Not the way it is spelled, but it works for me. It worked when I was having my biopsy...it worked when they inserted the ink via my nipple prior to my surgery..it works when I think the whole world is doomed with me along with it...and it works when I think more serious scarey stuff to make it all go away.

 

[BDBoop]

I square breathe.

 

[Sherry]

Sometimes I fight it, sometimes I just give in.

21 Comics That Capture The Frustrations Of Depression

Allie Brosh is the author/creator of Hyperbole and a Half. She landed a book deal, and ... disappeared. For like a year. She crawled out long enough to do this post;

Hyperbole and a Half: Adventures in Depression

But trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms trying to punch themselves until their hands grow back. A fundamental component of the plan is missing and it isn't going to work.

And then disappeared some more.

From my own experience with a lifetime of depression, sometimes debilitating, I can tell you that that particular blog entry hit home.

Just now, I saw Wil Weaton's post on depression.

http://wilwheaton.net/2013/10/i-got-better/?fb_source=pubv1

So I got better, and that’s the reason I’m putting these words down right now. I have depression, but depression doesn’t have me. I have bad days, I have really terrible days, and I have MMMMMARRAAAHHH days, like I did yesterday. Those days suck, but they always pass, and knowing why they happen, even if I can’t control them, gives me a great deal of comfort on the truly awful days.

If you’d told me yesterday, when I was at the nadir of my MMMMMARRAAAHHH that I would spend significant time today sitting in a room with people I like, alternately laughing my ass off and marveling at how clever and creative they are, I probably would have told you to stop being mean to me, because there was no way I’d ever be happy again.

And yet.

Thank you, hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-I’ve-never-met, for being kind to me when I was having a really MMMMMARRAAAHHH day. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

I think the worst part about depression is feeling like every. single. bullet. out there has your name on it. What most people do naturally (don't take it personally) I have to make a conscious effort to accomplish (disengage). I need to realize that even if somebody is busily pummeling me - it's not actually about me.

But the good news on the bad news front is that is not a constant. Much of the time, I could care. But if I'm not careful. If I don't take care of myself. If I don't pay attention when things start slipping away? I'm screwed.

I am really, REALLY grateful for the internet. Finding out that there are many in my shoes, and it's not something I need to be disgusted with myself for "not handling better" has been a major aid in finding my way on the bad days. Researching and recognizing the genetics that I am up against helps as well.

Anyway. There are a lot of mis-perceptions about depression. My personal favorite is "But you're so funny!" ....... Thank you? Many funny people fight or fought depression. Drew Carey, Jim Carrey, Rosie O'Donnell, Richard Jeni. Richard was so funny I'd have to hit pause because I couldn't hear him, I was laughing so hard. And then he shot himself at the age of fifty.

Since I don't know how to end this post, I'll just put up one of my favorite Jeni bits.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDM_96X40BU]Richard Jeni A Big Steaming Pile Of Me CLIP - YouTube[/ame]

I didn't know Wil Wheaton suffered from depression. Stand By Me is one of my all time favorite movies.

 

[eots]

Sounds like you had an anger management issues? And I've never heard of bipolar being temporary. It's a literal chemical imbalance in the brain.

What evidence do you have that it is a chemical imbalance in the brain ?

You want a debate, you'll need to find somebody else to chat with.

yes, its best just to just let your false statements go unquestioned

 

[BDBoop]

I didn't know Wil Wheaton suffered from depression. Stand By Me is one of my all time favorite movies.

I didn't either. That post was quite the shock - but I bet he got a lot of people talking just by being open about his struggles.

 

[BDBoop]

What evidence do you have that it is a chemical imbalance in the brain ?

You want a debate, you'll need to find somebody else to chat with.

yes, its best just to just let your false statements go unquestioned

You call them false? I say you're lying to yourself.

See why we have nothing to discuss? You think you can change my mind? I know I can't change yours. So like I said. You want to allege whatever point you want to get off your chest? Do it in your own thread.

 

[eots]

You want a debate, you'll need to find somebody else to chat with.

yes, its best just to just let your false statements go unquestioned

You call them false? I say you're lying to yourself.

See why we have nothing to discuss? You think you can change my mind? I know I can't change yours. So like I said. You want to allege whatever point you want to get off your chest? Do it in your own thread.

It is a matter of fact, not opinion and you can provide no definitive evidence to the contrary