So dog, considering the agreement was made in a legal fashion between the two of you with binding obligations, did the ex get any kind of punitive action taken against her for not holding up her end of the agreement?
I mean, if you didn't pay, you'd go to jail. So since she didn't save, was any action taken against her?
Couldn't you have probably sued?
As entitled as the woman is to child support as the primary parent, she should still be legally obligated to show where the child support money is going, as well. If the man is ordered to pony up money every week "for the child", then the money should be going exclusively to the necessities "of the child".
I don't know what the laws are that govern child support payments in every State but I do know in South Carolina it is not required for a woman to show how child support payments are used in the support of the child. Of course, that was way back in 1986 and things could have changed by now but it isn't important any longer. Could I have sued? Maybe but what real good would that accomplish? I may have won the battle but possibly lost the war in terms of a harmonous relationship with my kids. My biggest concern, in spite of the very bad relationship I had with the children's mother after our divorce, was I didn't want the kids to ever feel like they were used as "pawns" in any sort of a battle between the ex-wife and myself. I think that would have been a bad things for the kids to have to endure. So, somebody had to be big enough to suck up the bullshit and I decided it would be me. The end result is I have a very good relationship with my children and my seven grandchildren. As far as the ex-wife goes, I have not seen or spoken to her in well over 15 years and I like it like that. I have no need to interact with her any longer and I don't. I ask the children nothing about her but now and then the children will make a comment about what's going on in her life. I am told that she is not a very happy person at all and life with the man she married after we divorced is not as rosey as she would have liked it to be. Me? I didn't marry for over 6 years after I got divorced from the first wife and I have been happy as a clam ever since. I've been very successful in life and I don't think I would have done the things to become as successful as I have been if I had of stayed married to the first wife. I don't think the same opportunities for success would have presented themselves to me if my life had not changed. There's more to being happy in life than just having money. You can spend money and it's gone forever. Memories last forever and I have good ones of my kids.
It's not required ANYWHERE that the woman show how the money she receives in child support is paid. Child support isn't supposed to be used on only the children. It's a support to the family, so they can live a lifestyle from which the children can benefit. If that means mom gets fucking cable then that's what it means. If it means she gets a pedicure once a month which keeps her in a good mood and results in better interaction with the kids, then that's what it means.
On the other hand, visitation cannot be denied based on the fact that a deadbeat doesn't pay child support.
Once a parent is out of the household, he or she no longer controls that household. And that includes money. You're not paying money to maintain control in your absence. You're paying money because it costs money to raise kids, and you are the reason the kids are there.
I guarantee you, except in a few cases here and there, nobody pays child support in an amount that comes near to the financial and emotional burden of having the kids in your home the majority of the time. You're not just paying for things, you're paying for time and effort, that as a non-custodial parent you are not providing.
