CDZ Curiosities

[Gdjjr]

(1) When we're kids at Christmas time adults give kids what they, the adults, want the kids to have. When the kids become adults the adults ask them what do you want for Christmas? What changed? When my kids ask what I want for any present, Christmas or birthday, I reply; whatever you want to give me. I always gave my kids what I wanted them to have that I could afford and my youngest son told his wife; Dad always gives the coolest present. Not patting myself on the back, just presenting a personal anecdote.
But the curiosity is, for me; giving someone a gift, for whatever the occasion, why is the person receiving the gift even consulted?

(2) Have people always been so image conscious vs being substantive? I became aware that image is really important, to some if not many, in the 80's (I was in my early 30's). I worked with a man who said of another co-worker; "he's not a slave to fashion" - LOL- while it was true what does that tell us? It wasn't meant as a malicious statement as much as an honest observation, but, it did create a curiosity when I started thinking about it.

(3) Why does it seem that people are so superficial? Is that a by-product of no.2? What do people have against being quite and just thinking things through? I realize message boards aren't scientific and not used as empirical evidence but they are a pretty good cross section of people. There are some good thinkers who respond, but, by and large, what I see are reaction. Reaction is superficial. Thinking through doesn't seem to be all that common.

I have more but I'll address those later.

 

[Mac1958]

(1) When we're kids at Christmas time adults give kids what they, the adults, want the kids to have. When the kids become adults the adults ask them what do you want for Christmas? What changed? When my kids ask what I want for any present, Christmas or birthday, I reply; whatever you want to give me. I always gave my kids what I wanted them to have that I could afford and my youngest son told his wife; Dad always gives the coolest present. Not patting myself on the back, just presenting a personal anecdote.
But the curiosity is, for me; giving someone a gift, for whatever the occasion, why is the person receiving the gift even consulted?

(2) Have people always been so image conscious vs being substantive? I became aware that image is really important, to some if not many, in the 80's (I was in my early 30's). I worked with a man who said of another co-worker; "he's not a slave to fashion" - LOL- while it was true what does that tell us? It wasn't meant as a malicious statement as much as an honest observation, but, it did create a curiosity when I started thinking about it.

(3) Why does it seem that people are so superficial? Is that a by-product of no.2? What do people have against being quite and just thinking things through? I realize message boards aren't scientific and not used as empirical evidence but they are a pretty good cross section of people. There are some good thinkers who respond, but, by and large, what I see are reaction. Reaction is superficial. Thinking through doesn't seem to be all that common.

I have more but I'll address those later.

It seems pretty clear to me we're a culture in decay. Look at the people who choose to entertain us, to "lead" us. They're a reflection of us.

My guess is that this is merely the predictable result of generations of lowering standards and expectations of ourselves and each other.
.

 

[alang1216]

(1) When we're kids at Christmas time adults give kids what they, the adults, want the kids to have. When the kids become adults the adults ask them what do you want for Christmas? What changed? When my kids ask what I want for any present, Christmas or birthday, I reply; whatever you want to give me. I always gave my kids what I wanted them to have that I could afford and my youngest son told his wife; Dad always gives the coolest present. Not patting myself on the back, just presenting a personal anecdote.
But the curiosity is, for me; giving someone a gift, for whatever the occasion, why is the person receiving the gift even consulted?

(2) Have people always been so image conscious vs being substantive? I became aware that image is really important, to some if not many, in the 80's (I was in my early 30's). I worked with a man who said of another co-worker; "he's not a slave to fashion" - LOL- while it was true what does that tell us? It wasn't meant as a malicious statement as much as an honest observation, but, it did create a curiosity when I started thinking about it.

(3) Why does it seem that people are so superficial? Is that a by-product of no.2? What do people have against being quite and just thinking things through? I realize message boards aren't scientific and not used as empirical evidence but they are a pretty good cross section of people. There are some good thinkers who respond, but, by and large, what I see are reaction. Reaction is superficial. Thinking through doesn't seem to be all that common.

I have more but I'll address those later.

We've recently gone to creating 'wish lists' that get sent around the family. Not as spontaneous but how many gifts have I gotten that got returned, trashed, regifted, or just never used? Seems a reasonable trade off.

 

[Gdjjr]

My guess is that this is merely the predictable result of generations of lowering standards and expectations of ourselves and each other.
.

Lowering standards. Interesting thought. Being an optimist by nature, a cynic through analysis, and a pessimist from thinking through- I look at what is obvious. There are those who claim, rightfully so, the world, therefore our society, has never been better off materially. I read a while back (not sure how long ago) that perhaps setting the bar of standards/expectations is better left to the young as they are the ones who will be here the longest. My beliefs are; we will adapt or die. The young are better at adapting than people of age. The same man who made the slave to fashion statement also allowed as how "youth is wasted on the young"- LOL- hard to argue that from an adult perspective.

But, at what point did we stop giving what we want another to have vs consulting with the recipient about what he wanted?

 

[Gdjjr]

We've recently gone to creating 'wish lists' that get sent around the family. Not as spontaneous but how many gifts have I gotten that got returned, trashed, regifted, or just never used? Seems a reasonable trade off.

Good point. But, why does the recipient not appreciate the thought vs the gift?
My grandmother used to make me shirts- horrible and not stylish, but she did it on her sewing machine by herself. That is an admirable gesture by itself.
I'm not complaining about the quality, or choice(s), I'm questioning why is asking the recipient even consulted? It's a present, a *surprise* hopefully prompted by interaction or affection.
I have a friend who has as many of her family over for Christmas as can attend. She spends an entire year collecting odds and ends (new) and gives everyone a Christmas Stocking over flowing with mostly junk- but, she "gives" without consulting and puts in the effort all year long. She thought about them, affectionately, and gifted them.

 

[Gdjjr]

On the Christmas or birthday gifting lets face it- most adults can acquire what they want, and when the have to pay for it, they appreciate more than being gifted. It's said it's better to give than receive. Right? So, who receives what when gifted?

 

[alang1216]

We've recently gone to creating 'wish lists' that get sent around the family. Not as spontaneous but how many gifts have I gotten that got returned, trashed, regifted, or just never used? Seems a reasonable trade off.

Good point. But, why does the recipient not appreciate the thought vs the gift?
My grandmother used to make me shirts- horrible and not stylish, but she did it on her sewing machine by herself. That is an admirable gesture by itself.
I'm not complaining about the quality, or choice(s), I'm questioning why is asking the recipient even consulted? It's a present, a *surprise* hopefully prompted by interaction or affection.
I have a friend who has as many of her family over for Christmas as can attend. She spends an entire year collecting odds and ends (new) and gives everyone a Christmas Stocking over flowing with mostly junk- but, she "gives" without consulting and puts in the effort all year long. She thought about them, affectionately, and gifted them.

How much time, effort, and money did your grandmother waste making you shirts you'd never wear? If she had asked you what kind of shirt you'd like you might have appreciated both the thought AND the shirt.

 

[Maxdeath]

When I was young I was given a gift of clothing and a gift of a toy. Many hours were spent trying to fiqure out what that toy was. After I became a teen I was given one clothing gift. Was only asked what I wanted once. The toy I recieved did not work so I was asked what I wanted in exchange. Did not get it as it cost more then what was being exchanged.

In my teens gave the parents cards except one year I paid for a new furnace for their house.

The wife and I stopped giving each other gifts for any reason. We give each other cards. We figured out that if we wanted something bad enough we would buy it. I occasionally give the wife flowers now and then for no other reason then I care.

The children were raised the same way I was. The wife wanted to give them everything that they wanted. She was raised that way. Pointed out that her folks had spent most if not the whole year paying off the credit cards they used, only to turn around and do it again. A large part of that was intrest. Pointed out that I did no think it made her any happier then I was.

 

[Gdjjr]

How much time, effort, and money did your grandmother waste making you shirts you'd never wear? If she had asked you what kind of shirt you'd like you might have appreciated both the thought AND the shirt.

I didn't say I didn't wear them. I said they were not fashionable and horrible, but, I've never been a slave to fashion (and no it wasn't me that the comment was made about though it could have been). It's immaterial to what I'm asking and/or the basis for asking. AND that is only one thing I asked.

 

[Gdjjr]

(3) Why does it seem that people are so superficial? Is that a by-product of no.2? What do people have against being quite and just thinking things through? I realize message boards aren't scientific and not used as empirical evidence but they are a pretty good cross section of people. There are some good thinkers who respond, but, by and large, what I see are reaction. Reaction is superficial. Thinking through doesn't seem to be all that common.

See above reactions vs responses.

 

[Mac1958]

But, at what point did we stop giving what we want another to have vs consulting with the recipient about what he wanted?

That's one helluva question.

Maybe it's (our flawed) human nature to start making assumptions over time and lose connections. Plus, it's certainly more difficult to maintain standards than it is to make "exceptions" here and there. Then one "exception" piles on to another, and down you go.
.