Zack's original point got lost here. Why wouldn't a gay guy protect all that is dear to him and just suppress his "urges"? Human nature is such that we just do not have that capacity to do that over a whole life time. Denying a part of you like that is a huge struggle. I know.
I know because my brother fought it for years and years. He married his partner late last year. Took years to find a church that let him be religious and gay. Took years to feel the family was accepting enough for him to continue down the path. Took years to feel he could defend his choices to others. From the outside it looked like he had to choose living gay or death.
I have no problem with civil unions, I still do not feel marriage is an option, but I do not make the rules, so it is my brother and God on that one. I felt bad, not being more accepting, but see my BIL's family is even less accepting, so at least we make a good effort.