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CIA Replaces Waterboarding With 12-Hour Lectures On Intersectional Feminism
CIA Replaces Waterboarding With 12-Hour Lectures On Intersectional Feminism
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to anonymous sources, the CIA has replaced enhanced interrogation techniques such as waterboarding with something even more torturous and effective: 12-hour academic lectures on intersectional feminism. 'Waterboarding has been shown to be very effective,' said the...
babylonbee.com
WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to anonymous sources, the CIA has replaced enhanced interrogation techniques such as waterboarding with something even more torturous and effective: 12-hour academic lectures on intersectional feminism.
"Waterboarding has been shown to be very effective," said the anonymous source. "But that's been replaced now. Now we just pop in a tape of Robin DiAngelo, Stacey Abrams, or Joy Behar. Sometimes we'll really ramp things up and make them watch Coca-Cola's diversity training on a 12-hour loop."
Terror suspects will be subjected to lengthy lectures about cis-male privilege, heteronormative patriarchy, and microaggressive mansplaining. Sources say these lectures are 1,282% more effective than regular old waterboarding.
Critics have criticized the new interrogation method, saying that such cruel torture should be limited only to American universities.
Comment:
if they institute this in SERE training the washout rate will soar back up to what it was in the good old days.
I'm sure that the International Court at the Hague will have something to say about using such heinious tactics.
I wonder if they'll also add Kamaltoe Harris's cackle to the torture list.
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