Cheating on your Lover

[George Costanza]

It's up to the individuals and the relationship. For some people it's a real dealbreaker, for others it's salvageable. I can't imagine it ever being painless though, and for me at least trust would be very hard to re-establish. In general I'd say if you're going to give your word, keep it. Or don't give it at all.

Trust can be reestablished. But getting rid of the bitterness is another matter.

Honestly, I don't even know that trust can be built back up again. There may always be that nagging "voice in the back of one's mind"....

Oh it can be. It's called a short leash. A VERY, VERY short leash.

 

[George Costanza]

What's not to understand?

Tonight we went to a party and ended up in a room with 3 other couples plus a single female*.....

Hmmm. I am really tossed up on which response is more appropriate.

This:

Or this:

I prefer the top picture.

 

[fedup]

I would like to hear everyone's definition of "cheating" other than the obvious "sex". I know of a few people that have been in relationships and have "met" people of the opposite sex online. Talked for months and even years...exchanged nude pictures and have even went to that person's house for a movie (although they claim no sex...whatever) and to them this is not cheating. I say any time your significant other is unaware of certain conversations, meetings and pictures. It is considered CHEATING! Am I crazy for thinking that way??

 

[CrusaderFrank]

Should merge this with the "Sex in a moving car" Thread and name it:

"Have you ever cheated by having sex in a moving car"?

 

[Lumpy 1]

I would like to hear everyone's definition of "cheating" other than the obvious "sex". I know of a few people that have been in relationships and have "met" people of the opposite sex online. Talked for months and even years...exchanged nude pictures and have even went to that person's house for a movie (although they claim no sex...whatever) and to them this is not cheating. I say any time your significant other is unaware of certain conversations, meetings and pictures. It is considered CHEATING! Am I crazy for thinking that way??

Judging by this thread people have rationalized different levels of defining cheating.

My rationalization level includes some of what I consider innocent flirting, some non-threatening innuendo with some understanding that I'm happy married guy and things will go no where, just playful fun. Honestly.. I don't think my wife would even appreciate that but she is full of surprises, so who knows.

In general I'd say anything that effects trust between a couple could be considered cheating at some level. Seems to me though, you can't just expect your partner to know without some direct discussion on the subject or where you've learned their general attitude over time.

For what you described and my criteria.. .I'd be seriously pissed... etc.

 

[George Costanza]

I would like to hear everyone's definition of "cheating" other than the obvious "sex". I know of a few people that have been in relationships and have "met" people of the opposite sex online. Talked for months and even years...exchanged nude pictures and have even went to that person's house for a movie (although they claim no sex...whatever) and to them this is not cheating. I say any time your significant other is unaware of certain conversations, meetings and pictures. It is considered CHEATING! Am I crazy for thinking that way??

Not at all. Never mind the nude pics, never mind meeting the person face to face - I submit that merely conducting an ongoing, regular relationship with someone of the opposite sex is cheating. It isn't cheating in the same sense as an ongoing affair where you are banging your lover twice a week, but it is still cheating.

There's a simple test. Are you disclosing everything you say and do with this other person online, to your spouse? Can your spouse open your email and read it any time he/she wants? Do you encourage him/her to do so? No? Why not?

Another simple test: If your spouse was as involved with some guy/gal as you are with your "online friend," how would YOU feel about it? Be honest, now.

Jealousy is a touchy subject on Internet message boards such as this, because it seems everyone has a different tolerance level for it. And then the subject of "trust" always gets injected into the conversation, which is a total red herring.

But I have strong views on this one. Been there, done that. No longer.

 

[Lumpy 1]

I would like to hear everyone's definition of "cheating" other than the obvious "sex". I know of a few people that have been in relationships and have "met" people of the opposite sex online. Talked for months and even years...exchanged nude pictures and have even went to that person's house for a movie (although they claim no sex...whatever) and to them this is not cheating. I say any time your significant other is unaware of certain conversations, meetings and pictures. It is considered CHEATING! Am I crazy for thinking that way??

Not at all. Never mind the nude pics, never mind meeting the person face to face - I submit that merely conducting an ongoing, regular relationship with someone of the opposite sex is cheating. It isn't cheating in the same sense as an ongoing affair where you are banging your lover twice a week, but it is still cheating.

There's a simple test. Are you disclosing everything you say and do with this other person online, to your spouse? Can your spouse open your email and read it any time he/she wants? Do you encourage him/her to do so? No? Why not?

Another simple test: If your spouse was as involved with some guy/gal as you are with your "online friend," how would YOU feel about it? Be honest, now.

Jealousy is a touchy subject on Internet message boards such as this, because it seems everyone has a different tolerance level for it. And then the subject of "trust" always gets injected into the conversation, which is a total red herring.

But I have strong views on this one. Been there, done that. No longer.

Damn.. I feel impugned...... you have impugned Sir and I demand satisfaction..

(And then the subject of "trust" always gets injected into the conversation, which is a total red herring.)

Well... ? splain

 

[dilloduck]

seriously---trust factor is a red herring ?

 

[goldcatt]

seriously---trust factor is a red herring ?

It's everything.

 

[Coyote]

hmmm....first we have a topic on Fat Asses, then we have a topic on Melons....now it's Cheating on your Spouse......



Lumpy....is there something you'd like to share with us? (taps foot)

 

[Lumpy 1]

For the young and uninformed including George Costanza... it would seem..

# Red herring (idiom), a deliberate attempt to divert attention
# Red herring (logical fallacy), a deliberate attempt to change a subject or divert an argument

Red herring - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Anguille]

I would like to hear everyone's definition of "cheating" other than the obvious "sex". I know of a few people that have been in relationships and have "met" people of the opposite sex online. Talked for months and even years...exchanged nude pictures and have even went to that person's house for a movie (although they claim no sex...whatever) and to them this is not cheating. I say any time your significant other is unaware of certain conversations, meetings and pictures. It is considered CHEATING! Am I crazy for thinking that way??

Not at all. Never mind the nude pics, never mind meeting the person face to face - I submit that merely conducting an ongoing, regular relationship with someone of the opposite sex is cheating. It isn't cheating in the same sense as an ongoing affair where you are banging your lover twice a week, but it is still cheating.

There's a simple test. Are you disclosing everything you say and do with this other person online, to your spouse? Can your spouse open your email and read it any time he/she wants? Do you encourage him/her to do so? No? Why not?

Another simple test: If your spouse was as involved with some guy/gal as you are with your "online friend," how would YOU feel about it? Be honest, now.

Jealousy is a touchy subject on Internet message boards such as this, because it seems everyone has a different tolerance level for it. And then the subject of "trust" always gets injected into the conversation, which is a total red herring.

But I have strong views on this one. Been there, done that. No longer.

You both make good points however I think it's important to remember that your spouse cannot be everything for you. It's not healthy or even realistic to depend on one person to be your closest friend in every single aspect of your life.

 

[xotoxi]

It's up to the individuals and the relationship. For some people it's a real dealbreaker, for others it's salvageable. I can't imagine it ever being painless though, and for me at least trust would be very hard to re-establish. In general I'd say if you're going to give your word, keep it. Or don't give it at all.

Trust can be reestablished. But getting rid of the bitterness is another matter.

How about getting rid of the bitterness that is left in your mouth after licking envelopes?

 

[Lumpy 1]

hmmm....first we have a topic on Fat Asses, then we have a topic on Melons....now it's Cheating on your Spouse......



Lumpy....is there something you'd like to share with us? (taps foot)

Let's see Fat Asses..Sweet Luscious Melons.. Cheating on your Lover... followed by ...Where's the Romance.... and ending with the...Rubber Room...

Hey .... well .. ah....damn .....

 

[JW Frogen]

You are on a roll Lump.

 

[George Costanza]

It's up to the individuals and the relationship. For some people it's a real dealbreaker, for others it's salvageable. I can't imagine it ever being painless though, and for me at least trust would be very hard to re-establish. In general I'd say if you're going to give your word, keep it. Or don't give it at all.

Trust can be reestablished. But getting rid of the bitterness is another matter.

How about getting rid of the bitterness that is left in your mouth after licking envelopes?

I miss Susan. Wanna go to a movie?

 

[George Costanza]

I would like to hear everyone's definition of "cheating" other than the obvious "sex". I know of a few people that have been in relationships and have "met" people of the opposite sex online. Talked for months and even years...exchanged nude pictures and have even went to that person's house for a movie (although they claim no sex...whatever) and to them this is not cheating. I say any time your significant other is unaware of certain conversations, meetings and pictures. It is considered CHEATING! Am I crazy for thinking that way??

Not at all. Never mind the nude pics, never mind meeting the person face to face - I submit that merely conducting an ongoing, regular relationship with someone of the opposite sex is cheating. It isn't cheating in the same sense as an ongoing affair where you are banging your lover twice a week, but it is still cheating.

There's a simple test. Are you disclosing everything you say and do with this other person online, to your spouse? Can your spouse open your email and read it any time he/she wants? Do you encourage him/her to do so? No? Why not?

Another simple test: If your spouse was as involved with some guy/gal as you are with your "online friend," how would YOU feel about it? Be honest, now.

Jealousy is a touchy subject on Internet message boards such as this, because it seems everyone has a different tolerance level for it. And then the subject of "trust" always gets injected into the conversation, which is a total red herring.

But I have strong views on this one. Been there, done that. No longer.

You both make good points however I think it's important to remember that your spouse cannot be everything for you. It's not healthy or even realistic to depend on one person to be your closest friend in every single aspect of your life.

Yeah, you are probably right. So, um, you wanna PM me your email address . . . . ?

 

[gslack]

This thread went and got all moral and lost me LOL

 

[RadiomanATL]

24 hours and no pics.

Y'all suck.

 

[Samson]

24 hours and no pics.

Y'all suck.

OK:

Happy?