Can you teach a man how to cook?

[syrenn]

And not just any man. This man. God help you.

So, I'm living on my own and I no longer have Mom to make me a delicious meal. There's none of that magical ingredient of love thing going on here. One look at my modest cookware is enough to make my eyes glaze over in hungry despair.

I got some things. One of those nice, small silver saucepans from Wal-Mart (with a glass lid). You know, the kind with the nice handle that won't ever get loose. There's also a meat thermometer and a nice forged stainless steel knife from Chicago Cutlery. And that's it. Yeah, dicey.

People, I don't know how to cook.

I do have my roommate's trusty fry pan and some canola oil, which helps. By placing some chicken breasts in a fry pan with some canola oil, you can cook it just right. TECHNIQUE ALERT: You can also tip the pan a bit and with a spoon ladle some of the oil/juices over the chicken breasts to keep them from drying out. That stuff works nicely. I already feel like Bobby Flay.

EVOLUTION AT PLAY: I just created my own spice blend, too, and it's a nice contrast. Red pepper flakes, cumin seeds, black peppercorns, a teaspoon of 100% dark cocoa powder. As odd as it sounds, you should try it. It's a delicious balance and works perfectly with that ladling technique.

Some other ingredients I've got are dried black beans, pure canned pumpkin, pur brown rice, and amber-grade agave nectar.

Please guys, help this hungry newb. Or else he's gonna die, and that would, well, suck.

As a man you do not need to learn such mundane chores as cooking. God designed people and put them on earth for different purposes. Women have smaller hands that are well suited to cooking and washing dishes. Women also have smaller brains that allow them to do these rather mundane tasks day after day and not growed tired of such repetitive activity. So unless you wish to be a creative award winning chef in a five star restaurant, leave such a task to one who is suited doing it.

Next you are going to tell me that you want to learn how to leave the toilet seat down. God made women shorter so they have a shorter distance to reach down and raise the seat. All in God's design......

You need to cease the talk about cooking ingredients. Order a pizza. Is your phone broken?

You are either single or you have no survival instincts.

could be both.

 

[High_Gravity]

And beans are a great thing to know how to make, too...

if you can successfully make beans, you can make CHILI and homemade REFRIED BEANS and BEANS/RICE dishes...

There's no trick except
1. Always wash them and run them through your hands to check for rocks/clods of dirt. Beans are dirty.
2. Count on a cook time of 3 hours.

1 c beans
1-1/2 qts water
salt
bacon

You can put whatever you like in there...you use a lot of water because when you are cooking something for 3 hours, you lose most of the liquid.

You can use chicken or vegetable broth instead of straight water, but if you put bacon in, you don't have to.

You can also add carrots, onions and/or celery for a little umph.

I like garlic in beans.

I canned beans yesterday...they're ugly but they will make the kids extremely happy some evening in the future when I don't feel like cooking.

My kids are so weird, lol. They love beans. And my son is a pretty finicky eater, haha.

I hated beans when I was a kid. I'd just eat the broth (which is sort of what they do) and a lot of bread.

I been thinking about making beans next, never did it before. You can use the crock pot right?

 

[koshergrl]

Sure, crock pot would be a good way to do them.

 

[High_Gravity]

Sure, crock pot would be a good way to do them.

Any suggestions what to throw in?

 

[koshergrl]

Bacon and salt......that's really all you need for killer beans.

I don't make chili, so you'd have to get someone else to help with that. I mean, I have made it, but I don't do it often. Chili is so personal, lol.

When I was a girl, my mom would buy those frozen chili "bricks" that had the meat and the spices, and she'd make a big pot of beans and then throw one of those in there.

 

[Unkotare]

This is the recipe I use for meatloaf it is the mushroom in the middle meatloaf I love it.

Mushroom in the Middle Meatloaf Recipe - Allrecipes.com

I've never tried it that way, but dang that does sound good. For a more earthy taste I could see chopping up a bunch of different *fresh* mushrooms and mixing them into the meat. One of the ideas I had when it comes to meatloaf is mizing in dred cranberries that'd add a nice sweetness to it.

Heck, I'm going to try that mushroom meatloaf the next chance I get. OR ASK MOM.

Its funny you say that, I do add mushrooms to this meatloaf when I do it, even if the recipe doesn't ask for it. This meatloaf is outstanding, I served it over white rice once and even than it was delish.

The key to any meat-mixing dish (like meatloaf, meatballs, Salisbury steak, etc.) is not to mix too much. A gentle touch and just enough mixing to get everything together is what you need. Too much mixing and you start making concrete.

 

[koshergrl]

Oooh..good tip. And very true.

 

[High_Gravity]

Trying this Greek Spaghetti tonight.

http://greek.food.com/recipe/greek-spaghetti-286288[

 

[koshergrl]

I made my canned chicken casserole stuff last night, I've written about it all over world so I won't go into it again..

but it was good...so here's another tip for male cooks..

Bisquick is your friend.

You can use it for pancakes, for biscuits, for dumplings...you can top casseroles and use it as a bottom pizza-like crust almost...

Bisquick. It just uses a little milk. Wonderful stuff.

And I make good biscuits, dumplings and pie crusts, so you can trust me.

Also, frozen crusts are just fine...if you want a homemade pie but you really don't want to mess with the whole mess of making a crust (cuz it is kinda messy..you're using flour and lard. They are the definition of messy.) it is really nice to have some cheap frozen crusts in the freezer or fridge that you just whip out and dump whatever into...

Oh...and don't be afraid to cook tomatoes! Cooked tomatoes are spectacular. I have cooked extremely delish breakfasts using italian or french bread, eggs, olive oil, tomatoes...a little sliced sausage of any kind and if you're really flush mozarrella...

olive oil in pan
fry sausage slices until they're hot & browned
Pull out the middle of bread
Put the bread in the hot olive oil, drop an egg in...sprinkle with parmesan if you have it, salt & pepper

Flip the bread, salt & pepper

In another pan, fry sliced sausages (I like kielbasa but I've also used Italian sausages) till brown

Take out your bread/egg and turn up the heat and fry sliced tomatoes...

when they're good and seared on one side, flip over and put a slice of mozzarella on them....

Put the sausages on the plate with the bread & top the bread/egg with the tomatoes.

Or you can just serve everything on separate plates, which was what I did because I was cooking for a crew. Fried mozzarella tomatoes, sausages, and the little bread basket thingies...

And you can do almost any combo of starches and proteins...fried tomato is always good no matter how it's done up. With cheese (parmesan is really good on it too) or without...

You can bread it and it's excellent too.

 

[koshergrl]

I was cooking lunch for my sis & bro in law once at their house...they had old corn tortillas, some exceedingly ripe tomatoes, and canned salmon.

Yeah.

So I drained the salmon and picked out the gray, threw it in a skillet on high, added cumin, chili, and garlic...fried a couple of tortilla's, then chopped up a bunch of tomatoes and ran them through the skillet high and fast ...they were amazing fish tacos, I managed to get it right, they gobbled them.

 

[High_Gravity]

Sounds delish!

 

[koshergrl]

My sister has a very nice kitchen, I love to cook in it.

 

[koshergrl]

She has a convection oven and a regular oven and a freestanding island with the stove top...marble countertops and stone floor, very nice.

 

[High_Gravity]

Thats awesome! The kitchen in my apartment is pretty small, I'd like some more space!

 

[koshergrl]

She also has an olympic sized pool and a fenced courtyard and deck...with a real fire pit (it's like a huge fireplace with a chimney) and a gourmet barbecue...it has burners and grill and flipping accoutrements for rotisserie and a GRIDDLE, it's massive, built into the stone of the fire...thing....and with it's own gas line.

That's down in the courtyard..the courtyard is brick and concrete with flower beds here and there. Then right next to the back door onto the deck, over the pool, there's another barbecue with it's own built in gas line.

I catered a party for her where we had both grills going...burgers, steaks, chicken and shrimp kabobs, plus I don't remember what all I had going on in the house, but it was quite a party.

Darnit I'm homesick for her pool!

 

[High_Gravity]

I'd live with her if I were you!

 

[koshergrl]

My son and d-i-l did for quite a while. The basement of her home is a large one bedroom apartment, complete with kitchen and lots and lots of storage space.

 

[High_Gravity]

Did you try anything to make anything on here yet wake?

 

[Wake]

Did you try anything to make anything on here yet wake?

Made a few creations from your ideas and had varied results.


Chopped up some raw potatoes, put them in a container with canola oil and spices, shook it up, and baked on 400* for 30 minutes. It was awesome.

Made more chicken breast with spices, then coated with eggs and rolled in breadcrumbs and dry oregano. Topped with a thickened and rich sauce from the chicken breast, spices, and oil left over in the pan.

Took a yam, baked it, and skinned it. Mixed the sweet mush with cream, milk, and sugar. Poured it all in castings and baked it. It's a simple and cheap dessert option.

Soaked one cup dried black beans in water for 7 hours. Giddily scarfed a fourth of those beans. Had diarrhea the rest of the day.

Experimenting with pasta—spaghetti. It's a fussy ingredient that demands a keen eye on temperature, and the amount of salt required. Make it pretty well, and mixed in 1 cup of parmesan cheese, cumbled Canadian bacon, finely chopped lacinato kale, raisins and cranberries, two rags eggs, and more then enough pepper, dark cocoa powder, and cayenne pepper. Topped with crushed Doritos. Baked on 450* for 50 minutes. Reprehensible. Creative. Glorious.

 

[koshergrl]

I don't remember seeing any of those recipes.

No, don't eat soaked beans...they should be cooked.

My kids make potato wedges, put them on a cookie sheet, then cover them with oil, salt, and spices...bake it at 400 until whenever...and it's always yummy! I never think of doing that!