excalibur
Diamond Member
- Mar 19, 2015
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Good grief! And how did they ever come up with this name?
In 2019, while promoting her “black Bonnie and Clyde” movie Queen & Slim, Greek-Jewish-Jamaican filmmaker Melina Matsoukas (a.k.a. Zorba the Kvetching Rastafarian) asked a question for the ages: “Why Bonnie and Clyde always gotta be white?”
Well, the obvious answer is because they were white. Bonnie and Clyde were real people.
But another, equally valid answer is that they never ran themselves over with their own getaway vehicle.
By virtue of his name, Kashontez Kavier Cash-On Grigler was never destined to cure cancer. Indeed, if you name your baby Kashontez Kavier Cash-On, give birth, leave the hospital, and drive directly to county lockup to deposit the child. Because that’s where he’s gonna end up anyway, so you might as well cut out the middleman.
Or, you could do what the Grigler family has actually done. Fourteen-year-old Cash-On was skulking about with his girlfriend in their hometown of Aurora, Colo., when they came upon a minivan ripe for the stealing. So they stole it. With the girl at the wheel, Kashontez decided to hang out the door, doing his best “I’m kang of the world” impression.
Sadly, he lost his grip and fell under the vehicle. And with that, Cash-On cashed-out.
Now, no one can blame his parents for grieving (though you can totally blame them for the name that sealed his fate). But the Griglers have decided to deal with their grief by trying to get the owner of the minivan criminally charged because their son and his girlfriend stole it. See, the minivan was too much of a temptation for the young astronauts, so they shouldn’t be held responsible for the theft. Anyone who owns anything nice needs to be prosecuted if a black person dies after stealing it.
The family hasn’t said if they plan to sue the owner should Aurora’s DA not charge him. But if they do, they’ll likely find some shyster who’ll take the case pro-bonehead.
www.takimag.com
In 2019, while promoting her “black Bonnie and Clyde” movie Queen & Slim, Greek-Jewish-Jamaican filmmaker Melina Matsoukas (a.k.a. Zorba the Kvetching Rastafarian) asked a question for the ages: “Why Bonnie and Clyde always gotta be white?”
Well, the obvious answer is because they were white. Bonnie and Clyde were real people.
But another, equally valid answer is that they never ran themselves over with their own getaway vehicle.
By virtue of his name, Kashontez Kavier Cash-On Grigler was never destined to cure cancer. Indeed, if you name your baby Kashontez Kavier Cash-On, give birth, leave the hospital, and drive directly to county lockup to deposit the child. Because that’s where he’s gonna end up anyway, so you might as well cut out the middleman.
Or, you could do what the Grigler family has actually done. Fourteen-year-old Cash-On was skulking about with his girlfriend in their hometown of Aurora, Colo., when they came upon a minivan ripe for the stealing. So they stole it. With the girl at the wheel, Kashontez decided to hang out the door, doing his best “I’m kang of the world” impression.
Sadly, he lost his grip and fell under the vehicle. And with that, Cash-On cashed-out.
Now, no one can blame his parents for grieving (though you can totally blame them for the name that sealed his fate). But the Griglers have decided to deal with their grief by trying to get the owner of the minivan criminally charged because their son and his girlfriend stole it. See, the minivan was too much of a temptation for the young astronauts, so they shouldn’t be held responsible for the theft. Anyone who owns anything nice needs to be prosecuted if a black person dies after stealing it.
The family hasn’t said if they plan to sue the owner should Aurora’s DA not charge him. But if they do, they’ll likely find some shyster who’ll take the case pro-bonehead.
