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Bloomberg Refused Second Slice of Pizza at Local Restaurant - The Daily Currant"Look jackass," Bloomberg retorted, his anger boiling, "I fucking skipped breakfast this morning just so I could eat four slices of your pizza. Don't be a schmuck, just get back to the kitchen and bring out some fucking pizza, okay.
About - The Daily Currant
About
The Daily Currant is an English language online satirical newspaper that covers global politics, business, technology, entertainment, science, health and media. It is accessible from over 190 countries worldwide - now including South Sudan.
Our mission is to ridicule the timid ignorance which obstructs our progress, and promote intelligence - which presses forward.
Q. Are your news stories real?
A. No. Our stories are purely fictional. However they are meant to address real-world issues through satire and often refer and link to real events happening in the world
Q. What distinguishes TDC from other satirical newsources?
A. There are a few primary differences between TDC and its competitors:
1.TDC is an international publication written from a global perspective.
2.As an online-only title we seek to extensively cover the technology sector, internet culture, and social media,.
3.We attempt as often as possible to satirize issues of social relevance in order to influence the global discourse. (ie not this]
4.We try to appeal to a gender balanced audience.
5.We consider ourselves to be storytellers. We don't focus on one-liners in our headlines. We work on structure and character to deliver a compelling overall narrative.
Q. Who are your influences?
A. Bat for Lashes, Dave Brubeck, Regina Spektor and Jeff Buckley.
Q. What is the purpose of the "Take Action" links at the end of the articles?
A. The Daily Currant believes that satire can be an important tool for raising awareness of important political, social, and economic issues. On selected articles we include links to NGOs who are trying to solve the problem at the heart of the article and we encourage our readers to become involved. In some instances we may directly connect our readers with the Twitter accounts of organizations or people mentioned in our articles.
Q. What is the origin of the name "The Daily Currant ?
A. The name is a play on words. In English the words courant, current, and currant are often pronounced identically.
Courant is a Dutch loan word that for a time was a popular name for newspapers. The UK's The Daily Courant was the first newspaper in the English langauge, and The Hartford Courant is the oldest American newspaper still in publication.
Current as an adjective means "Belonging to the present time; happening or being used or done now" and is often used in the context of news as in "current affairs" or "current events". As a noun current may refer literally to an electrical current, and metaphorically to technology. Or literally to ocean currents and metaphorically to strong slowly changing trends in society.
Currant is a type of fruit known scientifically as Ribes which produce edible sour berries. The distinctive color of redcurrants (Ribes rubrum) lends the newspaper its color scheme.
The name is thus intended to sound like a newspaper, but is spelled like the fruit in a subtle reference to the newspaper's satirical nature.
Q. Your motto is "cauta est et ab illis incipit uxor". What does this mean?
A. The motto is a quote from Juvenal's Satire VI. The phrase literally means "the wife plans ahead and begins with them." The line directly preceding it is the much more famous "quis custodiet ipsos
custodes" or "who watches the watchers?" The motto is thus a tongue-in-cheek reference to both The Daily Currant's mission to hold the powerful to account and its satirical nature.
Yeah, but did this actually happen? They're known for satirical stories.
Mayor Bloomberg, not accustomed to being challenged, assumed that the owner was joking.
"OK, that's funny," he remarked, "because of the soda thing ... No come on. I'm not kidding. I haven't eaten all morning, just send over another pepperoni."
"I'm sorry sir. We're serious," Benito insisted. "We've decided that eating more than one piece isn't healthy for you, and so we're forbidding you from doing it."
"Look jackass," Bloomberg retorted, his anger boiling, "I fucking skipped breakfast this morning just so I could eat four slices of your pizza. Don't be a schmuck, just get back to the kitchen and bring out some fucking pizza, okay."
"I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do," the owner repeated. "Maybe you could go to several restaurants and get one slice at each. At least that way you're walking. You know, burning calories."
Bloomberg Refused Second Slice of Pizza at Local Restaurant - The Daily Currant
Rabbi is not the sharpest. He's also posted stories from The Onion that he thought were real.
Rabbi is not the sharpest. He's also posted stories from The Onion that he thought were real.
Rabbi is not the sharpest. He's also posted stories from The Onion that he thought were real.
Sez teh guy who can't figure out what racism is and gets his azz beat every time he starts up with me.
If it isn't true, it could very well be. It ought to be. It probably happened sometime somewhere. The only thing missing to make it true is Bloomberg ordering the health dept to shut the place so he can get even.
