- Apr 1, 2011
- 170,006
- 47,206
- 2,180
This is easily believable.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of his administration's top priority, President Joe Biden has vowed to eliminate all junk fees, though he clarified that his customary "10% for the Big Guy" fee will remain in place for all bribes and kickbacks.
"Listen here, folks," Biden slurred as the announcement was made, "We're going to get rid of all these junk fees! The biggest problem facing the American people every day is being gouged by hotel and resort junk fees. I'm telling these places charging junk fees — stop it!"
When asked by a reporter if the reduction of fees includes waiving the "10% for the Big Guy" fee, Biden was quick to clarify. "Absolutely not," he said. "My fee will stay in effect for all illegal transactions. Weakening national security and doing favors for foreign interests comes at a price, and that includes 10% for the Big Guy. Nargonnindargit!"
