Phoenix
fideli certa merces
It's been known for years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now, for the first time in the Western World, here are the true caloric benefits of sex:
Removing her clothes
With consent - 12 Calories
Without consent - 187 Calories
Opening her bra
With both hands - 8 Calories
With one hand - 12 Calories
With your teeth - 85 Calories
Putting on a condom
With an erection - 6 Calories
Without an erection - 315 Calories
Preliminaries
Trying to find the clitoris - 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot - 92 Calories
Positions
Missionary - 12 Calories
69 lying down - 78 Calories
69 standing up - 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow - 216 Calories
Doggy Style - 326 Calories
Italian Chandelier - 912 Calories
Orgasm
Real - 112 Calories
Fake - 315 Calories
Post Orgasm
Lying in bed hugging - 18 Calories
Getting up immediately - 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately - 816 Calories
Getting a second erection
If you are: 20-29 years old - 36 Calories
30-39 years - 80 Calories
40-49 years - 124 Calories
50-59 years - 972 Calories
60-69 years - 2916 Calories
70 and over - Death
Dressing afterwards
Calmly - 32 Calories
In a hurry - 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door - 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door - 3521 Calories
Removing her clothes
With consent - 12 Calories
Without consent - 187 Calories
Opening her bra
With both hands - 8 Calories
With one hand - 12 Calories
With your teeth - 85 Calories
Putting on a condom
With an erection - 6 Calories
Without an erection - 315 Calories
Preliminaries
Trying to find the clitoris - 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot - 92 Calories
Positions
Missionary - 12 Calories
69 lying down - 78 Calories
69 standing up - 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow - 216 Calories
Doggy Style - 326 Calories
Italian Chandelier - 912 Calories
Orgasm
Real - 112 Calories
Fake - 315 Calories
Post Orgasm
Lying in bed hugging - 18 Calories
Getting up immediately - 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately - 816 Calories
Getting a second erection
If you are: 20-29 years old - 36 Calories
30-39 years - 80 Calories
40-49 years - 124 Calories
50-59 years - 972 Calories
60-69 years - 2916 Calories
70 and over - Death
Dressing afterwards
Calmly - 32 Calories
In a hurry - 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door - 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door - 3521 Calories
