"Addicted" to Porn?!

[TrinityPower]

my hubby thinks announcing he has taken a bath and shaved is some form of foreplay

sex can be difficult later in life....with bladder cancer i find its just not my first thought and last night when i was in the mood....he decides to make fun of my speech impediment...even when i mentioned this would not get him laid he continued....he is not being mean....he never does it in front of people but damn he loves to do it when we are alone...

Ok the bath and shave thing reminded me of this. I think everyone could use a laugh at this point...ok you have to confirm that you are of age to watch this for some reason on Youtube but it isn't dirty

 

[Bonzi]

my hubby thinks announcing he has taken a bath and shaved is some form of foreplay

sex can be difficult later in life....with bladder cancer i find its just not my first thought and last night when i was in the mood....he decides to make fun of my speech impediment...even when i mentioned this would not get him laid he continued....he is not being mean....he never does it in front of people but damn he loves to do it when we are alone...

that's terrible even so... but, my husband brings up any negatives I have (or even past negatives I have changed for the better) during fights... I'd like to say I'm used to it. It doesn't hurt, it just makes me want to throttle him, but I'm not stronger than him....

 

[TrinityPower]

May I pass on something that I discovered? It doesn't help to change what these men are doing and saying to you but it helps (at least for me) in terms of self esteem of my own (which I am in short supply). They behave this way toward you because they are incredibly insecure. You will all laugh and call me a nut but I learned this from watching Dog Whisperer. I have no dog and in fact have been frightened of dogs since a child so I watched every episode of his show hoping to gain insight and overcome my trepidation. One thing that was repeated over and over was many of the dogs he helped attacked people because they were insecure and it dawned on me that people do the same damn thing!! Test it out...if someone is putting you down ask yourself what they are trying to cover up? Take my avatar for example....who slammed me most for it? People who are (if they are real honest) insecure with themselves and I can tell you that I only got chewed on by women. You women this happens to remind yourself that there is something about you that these men feel they themselves are lacking or they would not be hurting you to compensate for it

 

[Bonzi]

May I pass on something that I discovered? It doesn't help to change what these men are doing and saying to you but it helps (at least for me) in terms of self esteem of my own (which I am in short supply). They behave this way toward you because they are incredibly insecure. You will all laugh and call me a nut but I learned this from watching Dog Whisperer. I have no dog and in fact have been frightened of dogs since a child so I watched every episode of his show hoping to gain insight and overcome my trepidation. One thing that was repeated over and over was many of the dogs he helped attacked people because they were insecure and it dawned on me that people do the same damn thing!! Test it out...if someone is putting you down ask yourself what they are trying to cover up? Take my avatar for example....who slammed me most for it? People who are (if they are real honest) insecure with themselves and I can tell you that I only got chewed on by women. You women this happens to remind yourself that there is something about you that these men feel they themselves are lacking or they would not be hurting you to compensate for it

True but there are men out there that are so insecure they would hurt you (or your family) - and you can't mess around with that. You have to be careful. Unless you have God in your life to hand it over to....

 

[strollingbones]

o i give as good as i get.....i like to laugh...and even when he is being a mean shit he makes me laugh

 

[TrinityPower]

May I pass on something that I discovered? It doesn't help to change what these men are doing and saying to you but it helps (at least for me) in terms of self esteem of my own (which I am in short supply). They behave this way toward you because they are incredibly insecure. You will all laugh and call me a nut but I learned this from watching Dog Whisperer. I have no dog and in fact have been frightened of dogs since a child so I watched every episode of his show hoping to gain insight and overcome my trepidation. One thing that was repeated over and over was many of the dogs he helped attacked people because they were insecure and it dawned on me that people do the same damn thing!! Test it out...if someone is putting you down ask yourself what they are trying to cover up? Take my avatar for example....who slammed me most for it? People who are (if they are real honest) insecure with themselves and I can tell you that I only got chewed on by women. You women this happens to remind yourself that there is something about you that these men feel they themselves are lacking or they would not be hurting you to compensate for it

True but there are men out there that are so insecure they would hurt you (or your family) - and you can't mess around with that. You have to be careful. Unless you have God in your life to hand it over to....

Trust your inward witness. I saw this episode of Oprah some years ago talking about that still small voice that warns you and she had on people who ignored that voice but admitted they felt and heard it at the time. She also had people on who DID listen to it and their testimony of how it changed how they lived

 

[strollingbones]

i always trust my gut instinct

 

[Bonzi]

Dont get me wrong there are all types of people with all types of addictions but this one seems to be the "Go To" excuse used more often than a cop can say "He was going for my gun".

Its always the same pattern. Guy looks at porn like any other red blooded male. Woman, wife or GF finds it and instead of these assholes just owning up to liking porn every one of these idiots has to find an excuse. One that makes him more vunerable....more feminine. Aha! "I cant help it, I'm ADDICTED"

Part 2 of this is men for some reason cant just like what they like...it has to be some sort of flaw with man himself. And men are falling for this bullshit and shooting themselves in the foot by doing so.

Porn is to men what romance novels/movies are to women.
They create false hope and illusions.

 

[TrinityPower]

Well ya know...if all men had the body of Fabio women would long for something else

 

[Delta4Embassy]

Dont get me wrong there are all types of people with all types of addictions but this one seems to be the "Go To" excuse used more often than a cop can say "He was going for my gun".

Its always the same pattern. Guy looks at porn like any other red blooded male. Woman, wife or GF finds it and instead of these assholes just owning up to liking porn every one of these idiots has to find an excuse. One that makes him more vunerable....more feminine. Aha! "I cant help it, I'm ADDICTED"

Part 2 of this is men for some reason cant just like what they like...it has to be some sort of flaw with man himself. And men are falling for this bullshit and shooting themselves in the foot by doing so.

Can become psychologically addicetd to anything including a glass of water. Porn? Absolutely.Looking at it, masturbating, having orgasms/climaxes involves the reward centers of our brains so is considerably easier to envision becomming addicted to that.

Think the term is grossly overused though and usually without a clinical diagnosis of such. Just another feeble attempt to demonize porn and villify pleasure. "You'll get addicted to it." Same scare tactics, different generation.

Interestingly you almost never hear the same level or objection over horror movies, "You'll get addicted to them" or "You'll become a murderer"

 

[Bonzi]

Dont get me wrong there are all types of people with all types of addictions but this one seems to be the "Go To" excuse used more often than a cop can say "He was going for my gun".

Its always the same pattern. Guy looks at porn like any other red blooded male. Woman, wife or GF finds it and instead of these assholes just owning up to liking porn every one of these idiots has to find an excuse. One that makes him more vunerable....more feminine. Aha! "I cant help it, I'm ADDICTED"

Part 2 of this is men for some reason cant just like what they like...it has to be some sort of flaw with man himself. And men are falling for this bullshit and shooting themselves in the foot by doing so.

Can become psychologically addicetd to anything including a glass of water. Porn? Absolutely.Looking at it, masturbating, having orgasms/climaxes involves the reward centers of our brains so is considerably easier to envision becomming addicted to that.

Think the term is grossly overused though and usually without a clinical diagnosis of such. Just another feeble attempt to demonize porn and villify pleasure. "You'll get addicted to it." Same scare tactics, different generation.

the problem is that normative and healthier "addictions" are available.
like, sex with one person of the same sex for life.....
better for you, better for society and overall well being of everyone...
opening doors to any pleasure regardless of its implications is selfish and self indulgent.
not in line with the greater good.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

Dont get me wrong there are all types of people with all types of addictions but this one seems to be the "Go To" excuse used more often than a cop can say "He was going for my gun".

Its always the same pattern. Guy looks at porn like any other red blooded male. Woman, wife or GF finds it and instead of these assholes just owning up to liking porn every one of these idiots has to find an excuse. One that makes him more vunerable....more feminine. Aha! "I cant help it, I'm ADDICTED"

Part 2 of this is men for some reason cant just like what they like...it has to be some sort of flaw with man himself. And men are falling for this bullshit and shooting themselves in the foot by doing so.

Can become psychologically addicetd to anything including a glass of water. Porn? Absolutely.Looking at it, masturbating, having orgasms/climaxes involves the reward centers of our brains so is considerably easier to envision becomming addicted to that.

Think the term is grossly overused though and usually without a clinical diagnosis of such. Just another feeble attempt to demonize porn and villify pleasure. "You'll get addicted to it." Same scare tactics, different generation.

the problem is that normative and healthier "addictions" are available.
like, sex with one person of the same sex for life.....
better for you, better for society and overall well being of everyone...
opening doors to any pleasure regardless of its implications is selfish and self indulgent.
not in line with the greater good.

How's your greater good paradigm going when 60% of those one person forever arrangements end in divorce?

 

[Bonzi]

Dont get me wrong there are all types of people with all types of addictions but this one seems to be the "Go To" excuse used more often than a cop can say "He was going for my gun".

Its always the same pattern. Guy looks at porn like any other red blooded male. Woman, wife or GF finds it and instead of these assholes just owning up to liking porn every one of these idiots has to find an excuse. One that makes him more vunerable....more feminine. Aha! "I cant help it, I'm ADDICTED"

Part 2 of this is men for some reason cant just like what they like...it has to be some sort of flaw with man himself. And men are falling for this bullshit and shooting themselves in the foot by doing so.

Can become psychologically addicetd to anything including a glass of water. Porn? Absolutely.Looking at it, masturbating, having orgasms/climaxes involves the reward centers of our brains so is considerably easier to envision becomming addicted to that.

Think the term is grossly overused though and usually without a clinical diagnosis of such. Just another feeble attempt to demonize porn and villify pleasure. "You'll get addicted to it." Same scare tactics, different generation.

the problem is that normative and healthier "addictions" are available.
like, sex with one person of the same sex for life.....
better for you, better for society and overall well being of everyone...
opening doors to any pleasure regardless of its implications is selfish and self indulgent.
not in line with the greater good.

How's your greater good paradigm going when 60% of those one person forever arrangements end in divorce?

It's for the greater good for people to NOT divorce as well.
Just because most do, doesn't make it right or good.....

 

[Iceweasel]

Dont get me wrong there are all types of people with all types of addictions but this one seems to be the "Go To" excuse used more often than a cop can say "He was going for my gun".

Its always the same pattern. Guy looks at porn like any other red blooded male. Woman, wife or GF finds it and instead of these assholes just owning up to liking porn every one of these idiots has to find an excuse. One that makes him more vunerable....more feminine. Aha! "I cant help it, I'm ADDICTED"

Part 2 of this is men for some reason cant just like what they like...it has to be some sort of flaw with man himself. And men are falling for this bullshit and shooting themselves in the foot by doing so.

Can become psychologically addicetd to anything including a glass of water. Porn? Absolutely.Looking at it, masturbating, having orgasms/climaxes involves the reward centers of our brains so is considerably easier to envision becomming addicted to that.

Think the term is grossly overused though and usually without a clinical diagnosis of such. Just another feeble attempt to demonize porn and villify pleasure. "You'll get addicted to it." Same scare tactics, different generation.

the problem is that normative and healthier "addictions" are available.
like, sex with one person of the same sex for life.....
better for you, better for society and overall well being of everyone...
opening doors to any pleasure regardless of its implications is selfish and self indulgent.
not in line with the greater good.

How's your greater good paradigm going when 60% of those one person forever arrangements end in divorce?

It's for the greater good for people to NOT divorce as well.
Just because most do, doesn't make it right or good.....

Why do you say that? Some people are much better off letting a spouse go. Why live in misery?

As far as porn goes, if someone has to ask, they don't understand men.

 

[Carla_Danger]

naw men just like porn they are more visual than women ....they wanted to do some research projects on men who watch porn vs men who dont....entire project came to a dead stop ...they could not find men who didnt watch porn

That's very true, men are more visual....yep.

 

[Bonzi]

Dont get me wrong there are all types of people with all types of addictions but this one seems to be the "Go To" excuse used more often than a cop can say "He was going for my gun".

Its always the same pattern. Guy looks at porn like any other red blooded male. Woman, wife or GF finds it and instead of these assholes just owning up to liking porn every one of these idiots has to find an excuse. One that makes him more vunerable....more feminine. Aha! "I cant help it, I'm ADDICTED"

Part 2 of this is men for some reason cant just like what they like...it has to be some sort of flaw with man himself. And men are falling for this bullshit and shooting themselves in the foot by doing so.

Can become psychologically addicetd to anything including a glass of water. Porn? Absolutely.Looking at it, masturbating, having orgasms/climaxes involves the reward centers of our brains so is considerably easier to envision becomming addicted to that.

Think the term is grossly overused though and usually without a clinical diagnosis of such. Just another feeble attempt to demonize porn and villify pleasure. "You'll get addicted to it." Same scare tactics, different generation.

the problem is that normative and healthier "addictions" are available.
like, sex with one person of the same sex for life.....
better for you, better for society and overall well being of everyone...
opening doors to any pleasure regardless of its implications is selfish and self indulgent.
not in line with the greater good.

How's your greater good paradigm going when 60% of those one person forever arrangements end in divorce?

It's for the greater good for people to NOT divorce as well.
Just because most do, doesn't make it right or good.....

Why do you say that? Some people are much better off letting a spouse go. Why live in misery?

As far as porn goes, if someone has to ask, they don't understand men.

It all boils down to upbringing. In a perfect world, it's best people make good decisions and make sacrifices. Unless your life is in danger, sometimes it's best to make your marriage work. Too many times, people get married that shouldn't and also divorce when things can be worked out..... It's not the world we live in though, I'm not oblivious to reality..... Sometimes misery is the price we pay for our mistakes, especially when children are involved.

I understand why men like porn, but, if you never see it, it's not a problem.
Like smoking and drinking. You don't have an addiction to get over if you never try it in the 1st place.....

 

[Iceweasel]

It all boils down to upbringing. In a perfect world, it's best people make good decisions and make sacrifices. Unless your life is in danger, sometimes it's best to make your marriage work. Too many times, people get married that shouldn't and also divorce when things can be worked out..... It's not the world we live in though, I'm not oblivious to reality..... Sometimes misery is the price we pay for our mistakes, especially when children are involved.

I understand why men like porn, but, if you never see it, it's not a problem.
Like smoking and drinking. You don't have an addiction to get over if you never try it in the 1st place.....

Many people marry for the company. Like the gal with a husband that doesn't say nice things, shower, etc. All that comes at a surprise? I'd never marry someone I was that unfamiliar with. Kids do complicate it but sometimes they are better off if two unhappy people go their own way.

And lots of people drink and smoke without getting addicted. It isn't an either or scenario.

 

[longknife]

Porn, like cheating, usually happens when the man isn't getting what he needs at home.

 

[Iceweasel]

Porn, like cheating, usually happens when the man isn't getting what he needs at home.

I think you killed the thread.

 

[TrinityPower]

It all boils down to upbringing. In a perfect world, it's best people make good decisions and make sacrifices. Unless your life is in danger, sometimes it's best to make your marriage work. Too many times, people get married that shouldn't and also divorce when things can be worked out..... It's not the world we live in though, I'm not oblivious to reality..... Sometimes misery is the price we pay for our mistakes, especially when children are involved.

I understand why men like porn, but, if you never see it, it's not a problem.
Like smoking and drinking. You don't have an addiction to get over if you never try it in the 1st place.....

Many people marry for the company. Like the gal with a husband that doesn't say nice things, shower, etc. All that comes at a surprise? I'd never marry someone I was that unfamiliar with. Kids do complicate it but sometimes they are better off if two unhappy people go their own way.

And lots of people drink and smoke without getting addicted. It isn't an either or scenario.

That one was me and the problem was that he did bathe regular before we married and no I am not married to him anymore. I would have stayed in the bed I made so to speak but when he called our child a pathetic excuse for a human being daily starting at the age of 4 (for starters) I got out when I could do so. The child did not sign on for being treated that way. Generationally perpetuating that behavior has to end somewhere. The control and verbal abuse on myself caused a lot of physical issues with constant tension and eventually manifested in an auto immune disorder. There is no changing some people and no matter how much you change to please them they will never recognize it or appreciate your effort. My ex would never and still never says anything is good. It is just not bad. Very pessimistic view of everything. His childhood was harsh/stern but he has the attitude that it was done to him and he is not getting out of this life without turning it on the next generation in payment. His brothers are the same way and most of their wives stay on to preserve it for the kids, it isn't because they are happy