Part Two
THE HAPPY DAYS AHEAD
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But if that student does not want to learn anything requiring brain sweat, most U.S. campuses will baby-sit him 4 years, then hand him a baccalaureate for not burning down the library. That girl in Colorado Springs who studied Latin – but no classic Latin – got a "general" bachelor's degree at the University of Colorado in 1964. I attended her graduation, asked what she had majored in. No major. What had she studied? Nothing, really, it turned out – and, sure enough, she's as ignorant today as she was in high school.
Santa Cruz has an enormous, lavish 2 – year college and also a campus of the University of California, degree granting through Ph.D. level. But, since math and languages and history are not required, let's see how they fill the other classrooms.
The University of California (all campuses) is classed as a "tough school." It is paralleled by a State University system with lower entrance requirements, and this is paralleled by local junior colleges (never called "junior") that accept any warm body.
UCSC was planned as an elite school ("The Oxford of the West") but falling enrollment made it necessary to accept any applicant who can qualify for the University of California as a whole; therefore UCSC now typifies the "statewide campus." Entrance can be by examination (usually College Entrance Examination Boards) or by high school certificate. Either way, admission requires a certain spread – 2 years of math, 2 of a modern language, 1 of a natural science, 1 of American history, 3 years of English – and a level of performance that translates as B+. There are two additional requirements: English composition, and American History and Institutions. The second requirement acknowledges that some high schools do not require American history; UCSC permits an otherwise acceptable applicant to make up this deficiency (with credit) after admission.
The first additional requirement, English composition, can be met by written examination such as CEEB, or by transferring college credits considered equivalent, or, lacking either of these, by passing an examination given at UCSC at the start of each quarter.
The above looks middlin' good on the surface. College requirements from high school have been watered down somewhat (or more than somewhat) but that B+ average as a requirement looks good if high schools are teaching what they taught two and three generations ago.
The rules limit admission to the upper 8% of California high school graduates (out – of state applicants must meet slightly higher requirements).
8% – So 92% fall by the wayside. These 8% are the intellectual elite of young adults of the biggest, richest, and most lavishly educated state in the Union.
Those examinations for the English – composition requirement: How can anyone fail who has had 3 years of high school English and averages B+ across the board?
If he fails to qualify, he may enter but must take at once (no credit) "Subject A" – better known as "Bonehead English."
"Bonehead English" must be repeated, if necessary, until passed. To be forced to take this no – credit course does not mean that the victim splits an occasional infinitive, sometimes has a dangling modifier, or a failure in agreement or case – he can even get away with such atrocities as " – like I say – ."
It means that he has reached the Groves of Academe unable to express himself by writing in the English language.
It means that his command of his native language does not equal that of a 12 – year – old country grammar school graduate of ninety years ago. It means that he verges on subliterate but that his record is such in other ways that the University will tutor him (no credit and for a fee) rather than turn him away.
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So here we have the cream of California's young adults; each has learned to read and write and spell and has been taught the basics of English during eight years in grammar school, and has polished this by not less than three years of English in high school – and also has had at least two years of a second language, a drill that vastly illuminates the subject of grammar even though grasp of the second language may be imperfect.
It stands to reason that very few applicants need "Bonehead English." Yes?
No!
I have just checked. The new class at UCSC is "about 50%" in Bonehead English – and this is normal – normal right across California – and California is no worse than most of the states. 8% off the top – Half of this elite 8% must take "Bonehead English."
The prosecution rests.
This scandal must be charged to grammar and high school teachers ... many of whom are not themselves literate (I know!) – but are not personally to blame, as we are now in the second generation of illiteracy. The blind lead the blind.
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I TELL YOU THREE TIMES ... I TELL YOU THREE TIMES ... I TELL YOU THREE TIMES: A student who wants an education can get one at UCSC in a number of very difficult subjects, plus a broad general education.
I ask you never to forget this while we see how one can slide through, never do any real work, never learn anything solid, and still receive a bachelor of arts degree from the prestigious University of California. Although I offer examples from the campus I know best, I assume conclusively that this can be done throughout the state, as it is one statewide university operating under one set of rules.
Some guidelines apply to any campus: Don't pick a medical school or an engineering school. Don't pick a natural science that requires difficult mathematics. (A subject called "science" that does not require difficult mathematics usually is "science" in the sense that "Christian Science" is science – in its widest sense "science" simply means "knowledge" and anyone may use the word for any subject... but shun the subjects that can't be understood without mind – stretching math.)
Try to get a stupid but good – natured adviser. There are plenty around, especially in subjects in which to get a no – sweat degree;
Sturgeon's Law* applies to professors as well as to other categories.
For a bachelor's degree:
[There follows several paragraphs of semi-specific course range requirements]
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The name of this game is to plan a course involving minimum effort and minimum learning while "earning" a degree under the rules of the nation's largest and most prestigious state university.
To take care of "breadth" and also the American history your high school did not require I recommend Science and Pressure Politics, The Phenomenon of Man, and American Country Music. These three get you home free without learning any math, history, or language that you did not already know .. . and without sullying your mind with science.
You must pick a major.. . but it must not involve mathematics, history, or actually being able to read a second language. This rules out all natural sciences (this campus's greatest strength).
Anthropology? You would learn something in spite of yourself; you'd get interested. Art? Better not major in it without major talent. Economics can be difficult, but also and worse, you may incline toward the Chicago or the Austrian school and not realize it until your (Keynesian or Marxist) instructor has failed you with a big black mark against your name. Philosophy? Easy and lots of fun and absolutely guaranteed not to teach you anything while loosening up your mind. In more than twenty – five centuries of effort not one basic problem of philosophy has ever been solved .. . but the efforts to solve them are most amusing. The same goes for comparative religion as a major: You won't actually learn anything you can sink your teeth into but you'll be vastly entertained – if the Human Comedy entertains you. It does me.
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Expanded Universe (Robert Anson Heinlein). Read books online free without registration and downloading
expanded-universe.bib.bz
*Sturgeon's Law -
Sturgeon's law (or
Sturgeon's revelation) is an
adage stating "ninety percent of everything is crap". It was coined by
Theodore Sturgeon, an American
science fiction author and critic, and was inspired by his observation that, while
science fiction was often derided for its low quality by critics, most work in other fields was low-quality too, and so science fiction was thus no different.
...
en.wikipedia.org