S
Shattered
Guest
IF you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! Even if you are younger...still funny.
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill
BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda.
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way
in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about
how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I' m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look
around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean,
compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to
say it but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to
know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up
ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a
pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it
in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you
had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the
DJ's usually talked over the beginning and fucked it all up!
And talk about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had
to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a
copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone
and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang,
you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your
boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, the pig you
slept with the night before that you never wanted to see again, you
just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D & nbsp graphics!! We had Atari! With games like
"Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your
guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!
And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old
broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were
just screwed!
Some of us, who had parents that weren't dead beats, were fortunate to
get cable television, but back then it was only like 15 channels and
there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a
little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off
your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was
no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday
Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for
cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we
had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... imagine that! If
we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake
it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy.
You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in
1980!
Regards,
The 30 Something Crowd
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill
BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda.
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way
in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about
how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I' m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look
around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean,
compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to
say it but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to
know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up
ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a
pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it
in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you
had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the
DJ's usually talked over the beginning and fucked it all up!
And talk about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had
to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a
copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone
and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang,
you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your
boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, the pig you
slept with the night before that you never wanted to see again, you
just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D & nbsp graphics!! We had Atari! With games like
"Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your
guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!
And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old
broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were
just screwed!
Some of us, who had parents that weren't dead beats, were fortunate to
get cable television, but back then it was only like 15 channels and
there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a
little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off
your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was
no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday
Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for
cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we
had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... imagine that! If
we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake
it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy.
You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in
1980!
Regards,
The 30 Something Crowd
Did I miss the entry on being able to type your papers and then go back and just edit, not having to retype the whole blasted thing each time?
