Hobbit
Senior Member
This list is, by no means, definitive. I have not played every video game in the world, so I don't know if there are harder ones. Post more if you feel necessary, but here's my pick for the top ten and why they should be.
10. Devil May Cry 3 - PS2
This one just barely hedged out WoW's insane endgame with 40-man raids taking perfect coordination. The reason it makes the list is for its original English printing error. All difficulty levels were switched one stage harder. The hardest was too hard even for the Japanese kids who were twitchy enough to beat Shinobi. Hold me. I'm scared. This is only number 10.
9. Heroes of Might and Magic series - PC
This game isn't just long, it's hard as hell, and for mainly one reason: One mistake can cost you the game...ten turns from now. It's just like chess...with 10 minute turns. Don't ever trust the 1-3 autosaves. Save in 10+ slots.
8. Super The Empire Strikes Back - SNES
Of the three insanely hard Super Star Wars games, this one sticks out in my mind...as the only one I never beat. Dang, this thing is a beast. Every time I think I have its number, it throws me a curve ball. It's just horrible.
7. The Empire Strikes Back - Game Boy
I defeated Adventure Island and Mylon's Secret Castle. I even defeated Syndicate, but the dull, dot matrix version of the Star Wars universe just can't get me to finish this game. After having to start all over again after dieing to the 20th Vader clone in Cloud City, I just gave up. This game drives me bonkers.
6. 7th Saga - SNES
7th Saga is yet another Final Fantasy clone to cash in on its popularity. It's not bad, per se, but there's no way to progress through the game by just going from one place to the next continuously. You know how, in Final Fantasy, a guy would tell you to go someplace, and you'd go there to find yet another plot element. Well, in 7th Saga, a guy tells you to go someplace, so you head that direction only to find out that the monsters there will kick your arse. You spend 3 hours leveling so you can get to just one conversation, then it's back to the grind. To beat this game you must spend a good 40+ hours fighting the same monsters over and over just to level enough to make it to the next plot point. This is out of a 50+ hour game.
5. Shinobi - PS2
My fingers still hurt. I don't want to talk about...A MOTHER@#$%ING HELICOPTER WITH NOTHING BUT A SWORD AND NINJA STARS, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!
4. Eye of the Beholder - PC
Yeah, the NES version was easy. The NES version also had a wussified beholder and skipped the last 3 levels of trap laden, monster infested horror. It's enough to make you throw dice at the screen and beat up your old DM for fear he might have been in on it.
3. Syndicate - PC
While otherwise an excellent game, Syndicate is just too complicated. You spend dozens of levels guiding your squad of cyborgs around city streets and corporate facilities in order to quell uprisings, conquor territory, or perform industrial espionage. Between missions, you upgrade by taxing your territories. Sounds fun, right? Well, it is, until you figure out that in order to finish the later missions, you must master every aspect of each cyborg's stats. They have more stats to them than a D&D character. Their morale, emotional level, hormone levels, moral feelings, loyalty, the list goes on and on. The worst part is that, after you have finally ascended to a higher being capable of conquoring the final mission, an underwater research facility, you're treated to the 'you beat the level' screen, then it bumps you back to the title screen. No credits. No atta boy. Just...nothing. I guess they didn't expect anybody to make it that far.
2. Mylon's Secret Castle - NES
Imagine Metroid or Kid Icarus, except with triple the enemies, crappy weapons, and a sluggish, unwieldy character. I mean, he's sleepwalking. Yeah, it's horrible.
1. Adventure Island - NES
This little known title for the original Nintendo didn't draw half the crowd as its followers, and for several reasons, one being its insane difficulty. For those of you who played its more successful sequals, such as Adventure Island 2 on the game boy, Adventure Island 3 for the NES, or Super Adventure Island for the SNES, imagine the game with no dinosaurs, the skateboard a necessity, a quadruple speed food meter, 1/4 the food, no backtracking, and then, in addition to all of that stuff, quadruple the difficulty.
For those who never suffered through this paragon of game difficulty, let's start with Super Mario Bros. as a reference. Now, take away Mario's ability to kill enemies by jumping on them. Jumping on enemies kills him. Now give him axes. It's like fireballs, but they're weaker, don't go through turtle shells, and don't bounce. He can get a boomerang, but it's slow. The only thing that is almost as powerful as true Mario fireballs is...fireballs, which are rarer than invincibility stars. Oh, and speaking of those, they have those, but don't expect one where you need it...ever. Now take away the time limit...and replace it with something worse. There's a meter showing how hungry you are. If it's full, you're fine. If it's empty, you die. It starts practically empty. Now, space out the coins, make them fruit, and make them add just a little bit to that ever draining time meter. A piece of meat fills it, but, once again, never when you need it, and only in secret areas that you can never find. Then add enemies that move around swiftly and in such way that make them next to impossible to hit, as well as one that runs twice as fast as you and attacks from behind. Make the jumping puzzles ten times worse, and ones where you have less than a half second to think between jumps, and even ones where you MUST know where the enemies are ahead of time to dodge them. Then add levels where you get a skateboard. You can't stop the skateboard and falling off usually kills you, but it makes you go fast enough that maybe your time won't run out. Yeah, the game can take as little as 15 minutes to beat. It took me 8 months. I hate Hudson Soft.
10. Devil May Cry 3 - PS2
This one just barely hedged out WoW's insane endgame with 40-man raids taking perfect coordination. The reason it makes the list is for its original English printing error. All difficulty levels were switched one stage harder. The hardest was too hard even for the Japanese kids who were twitchy enough to beat Shinobi. Hold me. I'm scared. This is only number 10.
9. Heroes of Might and Magic series - PC
This game isn't just long, it's hard as hell, and for mainly one reason: One mistake can cost you the game...ten turns from now. It's just like chess...with 10 minute turns. Don't ever trust the 1-3 autosaves. Save in 10+ slots.
8. Super The Empire Strikes Back - SNES
Of the three insanely hard Super Star Wars games, this one sticks out in my mind...as the only one I never beat. Dang, this thing is a beast. Every time I think I have its number, it throws me a curve ball. It's just horrible.
7. The Empire Strikes Back - Game Boy
I defeated Adventure Island and Mylon's Secret Castle. I even defeated Syndicate, but the dull, dot matrix version of the Star Wars universe just can't get me to finish this game. After having to start all over again after dieing to the 20th Vader clone in Cloud City, I just gave up. This game drives me bonkers.
6. 7th Saga - SNES
7th Saga is yet another Final Fantasy clone to cash in on its popularity. It's not bad, per se, but there's no way to progress through the game by just going from one place to the next continuously. You know how, in Final Fantasy, a guy would tell you to go someplace, and you'd go there to find yet another plot element. Well, in 7th Saga, a guy tells you to go someplace, so you head that direction only to find out that the monsters there will kick your arse. You spend 3 hours leveling so you can get to just one conversation, then it's back to the grind. To beat this game you must spend a good 40+ hours fighting the same monsters over and over just to level enough to make it to the next plot point. This is out of a 50+ hour game.
5. Shinobi - PS2
My fingers still hurt. I don't want to talk about...A MOTHER@#$%ING HELICOPTER WITH NOTHING BUT A SWORD AND NINJA STARS, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!
4. Eye of the Beholder - PC
Yeah, the NES version was easy. The NES version also had a wussified beholder and skipped the last 3 levels of trap laden, monster infested horror. It's enough to make you throw dice at the screen and beat up your old DM for fear he might have been in on it.
3. Syndicate - PC
While otherwise an excellent game, Syndicate is just too complicated. You spend dozens of levels guiding your squad of cyborgs around city streets and corporate facilities in order to quell uprisings, conquor territory, or perform industrial espionage. Between missions, you upgrade by taxing your territories. Sounds fun, right? Well, it is, until you figure out that in order to finish the later missions, you must master every aspect of each cyborg's stats. They have more stats to them than a D&D character. Their morale, emotional level, hormone levels, moral feelings, loyalty, the list goes on and on. The worst part is that, after you have finally ascended to a higher being capable of conquoring the final mission, an underwater research facility, you're treated to the 'you beat the level' screen, then it bumps you back to the title screen. No credits. No atta boy. Just...nothing. I guess they didn't expect anybody to make it that far.
2. Mylon's Secret Castle - NES
Imagine Metroid or Kid Icarus, except with triple the enemies, crappy weapons, and a sluggish, unwieldy character. I mean, he's sleepwalking. Yeah, it's horrible.
1. Adventure Island - NES
This little known title for the original Nintendo didn't draw half the crowd as its followers, and for several reasons, one being its insane difficulty. For those of you who played its more successful sequals, such as Adventure Island 2 on the game boy, Adventure Island 3 for the NES, or Super Adventure Island for the SNES, imagine the game with no dinosaurs, the skateboard a necessity, a quadruple speed food meter, 1/4 the food, no backtracking, and then, in addition to all of that stuff, quadruple the difficulty.
For those who never suffered through this paragon of game difficulty, let's start with Super Mario Bros. as a reference. Now, take away Mario's ability to kill enemies by jumping on them. Jumping on enemies kills him. Now give him axes. It's like fireballs, but they're weaker, don't go through turtle shells, and don't bounce. He can get a boomerang, but it's slow. The only thing that is almost as powerful as true Mario fireballs is...fireballs, which are rarer than invincibility stars. Oh, and speaking of those, they have those, but don't expect one where you need it...ever. Now take away the time limit...and replace it with something worse. There's a meter showing how hungry you are. If it's full, you're fine. If it's empty, you die. It starts practically empty. Now, space out the coins, make them fruit, and make them add just a little bit to that ever draining time meter. A piece of meat fills it, but, once again, never when you need it, and only in secret areas that you can never find. Then add enemies that move around swiftly and in such way that make them next to impossible to hit, as well as one that runs twice as fast as you and attacks from behind. Make the jumping puzzles ten times worse, and ones where you have less than a half second to think between jumps, and even ones where you MUST know where the enemies are ahead of time to dodge them. Then add levels where you get a skateboard. You can't stop the skateboard and falling off usually kills you, but it makes you go fast enough that maybe your time won't run out. Yeah, the game can take as little as 15 minutes to beat. It took me 8 months. I hate Hudson Soft.
