Why do YOU swear ?

[Bootneck]

Next up on the USMB:

Penis Wars, Starring Bootneck and roomy, 2 of England's biggest bullshitters!

Sounds like the Battle of the Bulge, all over again!

 

[Bootneck]

I remember when I was five and I asked my mate Dave what a penis was. He said he didn't know, so I decided to ask my dad.

So, that evening, when dad got home from work, I asked him what a penis was. He gladly exposed himself and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is a perfect penis."

The next day I met up with Dave and called him behind a hedge. I exposed myself and said to Dave, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!"

 

[roomy]

Aw jeez. I so wished I had an eight inch penis...



...instead of this thing that hangs almost to the knee.

Did I mention the size it gets when vexed?

No. Do you want to run it up the flag pole to see who salutes it?

God save the queen and the Sars spangled Banner would drown each other out in a cacophony of noise.

 

[Bootneck]

Did I mention the size it gets when vexed?

No. Do you want to run it up the flag pole to see who salutes it?

God save the queen and the Sars spangled Banner would drown each other out in a cacophony of noise.

Surely, 'Thy Rod and Thy Staff' would be more appropriate.

 

[submarinepainter]

I never swear because I try to be like our Lord Jesus. He never swore or used vile and disgusting language. I try to live as Jesus did in a state of perpetual virtue and goodness.

How would know if Jesus swore?

This is all just so much humbug!

Damn, there are a shit load of ways to say bullshit.

I like Bullshitarina myself

Because I was in the Navy too long, so no one understood a word I was fucking saying when I used polite speech.

The Navy likes it salty. Just like their balls.

JW How do you the balls are salty ?

 

[Againsheila]

When it's gone back far enough, you will never see it again.I will shave it off forever.I have a 27 year old son, been bald since he was 19, I would gladly have swapped him.I don't care about my hair, it gets shaved off periodically.I must admit, it gets less and less every time.Meh, I have an 8" penis.

lol...oh man.....

Okay, joke time, to get my mind off that image...so a guy walks into a bar and asks if he can get free drinks if he can get someone to play the piano. The bartender says "sure". The man pulls a 10 inch Pianist out of his pocket. The pianist proceeds to play through the classics with such ability as to astound the customers and the bartender. The bartender says "Where did you get that guy?"

"I got him from the Genie of this lamp," and he pulls and old lamp out of his jacket.

The bartender says "Can I try it?"

"Sure"

So the bartender rubs the lamp and when the Genie comes out, he asks for a million bucks, whereupon the entire bar fills up with ducks. The bartender looks at the man and the man says, "You don't really think I asked for a 10 inch pianist do you?"

 

[Againsheila]

I remember when I was five and I asked my mate Dave what a penis was. He said he didn't know, so I decided to ask my dad.

So, that evening, when dad got home from work, I asked him what a penis was. He gladly exposed himself and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a penis. In fact, if you take a good look you will see this is a perfect penis."

The next day I met up with Dave and called him behind a hedge. I exposed myself and said to Dave, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis!"

omg..and I can't give you any rep, I gotta spread it around first.

 

[catzmeow]

Why do people use vile and disgusting language more so why do "certain" types of women swear ?

This certain type of woman swears purely for the rise it gets her out of self-righteous twits like you.

 

[Gunny]

Did I mention the size it gets when vexed?

No. Do you want to run it up the flag pole to see who salutes it?

God save the queen and the Sars spangled Banner would drown each other out in a cacophony of noise.

Great. Now I have to make a United Kingdom forum just to keep you two separate from the civilized folk.

 

[Yukon]

Why do people use vile and disgusting language more so why do "certain" types of women swear ?

This certain type of woman swears purely for the rise it gets her out of self-righteous twits like you.

Most women who use vile and disgusting language are femiNAZIs who want to be as vile as the low life men they are attracted to. A lady does not swear !

 

[Phoenix]

No. Do you want to run it up the flag pole to see who salutes it?

God save the queen and the Sars spangled Banner would drown each other out in a cacophony of noise.

Great. Now I have to make a United Kingdom forum just to keep you two separate from the civilized folk.

But you have to admit they're a lot of fun to watch.

 

[Phoenix]

The poll needs more choices.

There is no selection for persons who only use vile, profane or vulgar words only in specific circumstances.

 

[Yukon]

Eve,

Intelligent well spoken ladies and gentlemen do not need to resort to swearing or the use of vile, and disgusting language any time. We are above that.

 

[catzmeow]

A lady does not swear !

The tiny box labeled "lady" is designed to keep women handicapped and incapable of participation as equals.

 

[KittenKoder]

Why do people use vile and disgusting language more so why do "certain" types of women swear ?

This certain type of woman swears purely for the rise it gets her out of self-righteous twits like you.

Most women who use vile and disgusting language are femiNAZIs who want to be as vile as the low life men they are attracted to. A lady does not swear !

So then, real ladies don't ever get married, since swearing is required.

 

[TofuDog]

Ladies who are great in bed swear. That's so hot!

 

[Bootneck]

Eve,

Intelligent well spoken ladies and gentlemen do not need to resort to swearing or the use of vile, and disgusting language any time. We are above that.

Bullshit! I know plenty of well spoken and refined ladies who can swear like troopers. Especially when their other half crosses the line. Take my mate Dave. He married a Rodean educated posh bitch he met at a debutante ball. Boy could she swear.

He left work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he spent the weekend (and all his money) drinking and watching soccer with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it.

After a couple of hours of swearing - language that would make a matelot blush - and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days?!?"

Dave couldn't believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and said,"That would suit me just fine!!"

Monday went by, and Dave didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn't see her.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

 

[Bootneck]

Even the Queen of England swears!

Prince Phillip and the Queen were dining in one of London's top restaurants.
The waiter asked Phillip what he would like to order.

" I'll have two rare steaks my good fellow "

Waiter " does sir mean two bloody steaks "

Phillip " yes quite right old chap 2 bloody steaks "

Queen " and plenty of fucking chips "

 

[JW Frogen]

Most women who use vile and disgusting language are femiNAZIs who want to be as vile as the low life men they are attracted to. A lady does not swear !

I really, really, really can use some abuse from a swearing FemiNAZI right now.

If you are out there, please e-mail me.

URGENT!!!!!!!!!

 

[KittenKoder]

Most women who use vile and disgusting language are femiNAZIs who want to be as vile as the low life men they are attracted to. A lady does not swear !

I really, really, really can use some abuse from a swearing FemiNAZI right now.

If you are out there, please e-mail me.

URGENT!!!!!!!!!

LOL

Feminazi is actually fowl language but he is too stupid to know that. As for the "abuse" ... they have sites for that.