When a Woman Isn't in the Mood...

[catzmeow]

I've been guys I didn't love and had great sex. Caring about the other person adds another dimension for me, but it wasn't required in the past. I'm trying to clean up my act so I haven't had any in a while doubt but I think it will be even better once I start again because I plan to only do it in committed LTRs.

I think this is awesome, Amanda, and I applaud your decision. I took that path a few years ago when I re-entered the dating world in my late 30s (as opposed to my rather slutty 20s) and I have never regretted it.

I will say, however, that even with a person you love and are crazy about, there can be times when it's a duty. It's not that you don't love the person, it's not that the sex isn't great, it's that it's been going on for 45 minutes now, and can't he freaking GET IT OVER WITH???

Not that I've had personal experiences here or anything.

 

[Ravi]

Not that I've had personal experiences here or anything.

Here on the forum? TMI Alert!

 

[dilloduck]

Not that I've had personal experiences here or anything.

Here on the forum? TMI Alert!

seriously---can't you women take this to your hidden 'female only' forum ?

 

[Luissa]

NOW I love you...

(But I don't see any rep.)

LOL! You guys are funny. But don't ever laugh in bed because someone might take it the wrong way.

I've laughed in bed. But we were wrestling around having fun, tickling, you know, that sort of stuff. But when it's hot and heavy... HELL NO!

I have laughed in bed many times especially when you are wrestling around and someone accidently gets kneed in the face or something.The best is when you are drunk and fall of the bed or something!

 

[PoliticalChic]

Not that I've had personal experiences here or anything.

Here on the forum? TMI Alert!

seriously---can't you women take this to your hidden 'female only' forum ?

Don't tell me you're not titillated by all this sex talk?

 

[dilloduck]

Here on the forum? TMI Alert!

seriously---can't you women take this to your hidden 'female only' forum ?

Don't tell me you're not titillated by all this sex talk?

It's titurous actually. but much better than the cat fight---

 

[Cecilie1200]

Oh shit, I just saw it was written by noted wingnut Dennis Praeger.

Hasn't that guy been divorced like three times or something?


Yeah, I really want advice on women and relationhips from him.

I can just here him now, after he smacks his wife...Listen, Doreen, if you don't have sex with me you have some sort of mental deficiency for not wanting to please your master. And you sure as hell are being unwise.

I listen to Dennis quite a bit, and I happen to agree with him. Anyone who thinks that men and women are on the same page when it comes to sex are delusional. Most men, when in a relationship, want and expect sex on a regular basis as they have a natural drive for pure unadulterated sex. Yes, they will stay within the confines of that relationship if they truly care for the woman they are with, but they want and need that sexual release.

Women, in general, don't need the sexual release, but they will enjoy it under the right circumstances, usually meaning when the man they are with actually gives a crap about their needs as well as his own.

That is not to say that sex for men is strictly a physical thing. Being emotionally involved with their partner makes for much better sex than just sex for the sake of the physical need. When it comes to women denying a man sex, there is nothing wrong with that if she is really not feeling it every now and then. This is where problems begin though, as the question becomes "what is every now and then". The woman who gives in to sex a couple of times per month is going to find herself being cheated on or left behind in a very short time. Of course if a woman is that disinterested to begin with, then something is not right in the relationship anyway, unless of course it is due to illness.

I'm sure there are exceptions to this, as there is anything, but for the most part, I think Dennis Prager hits it pretty much on the head. Any male that would deny this is only doing so to keep his non-understanding partner from ripping his head off for being truthful, as can be seen by most of the responses from women in this thread.

::blink:: Did you just say that women don't need the sexual release? What sort of women are YOU hanging around with? Sorry to overshare, but I haven't been able to have sex for the last three months of my pregnancy and, of course, have to wait for six weeks after giving birth to get clearance from my OB/GYN. I'm about to gnaw my own arm off from frustration, so please don't tell me women don't need the sexual release. I have three weeks left and counting, and my husband is already starting to look scared.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I've been guys I didn't love and had great sex. Caring about the other person adds another dimension for me,

Same here. I can't say I've ever been with someone I didn't at least like if not love. And still do like, at least.
I wonder why no one has brought up the hormonal thing? I think that's the main difference between men and women and when they want sex. My monthly cycle has always had some effect on how much sex I want and even what kind. Men usually seem to be at the same level of readiness all month long but they do pick up on something on a biological level in women too, I think. Anyway, that's been my experience.

I never been able to see a pattern in myself. If something is distracting me or I'm overly tired, my interest won't be there. But the same doesn't hold true for my husband. He could be sick with the flu and it wouldn't affect his appetite. I thought that was unusual, but the more I hear and the more I read, that seems more the norm.

My husband gets turned on when I'M sick or tired or otherwise incapacitated. Anyone know what's up with this? He also has the Al Bundy thing of being aroused by watching me do housework.

Men are just weird.

 

[Cecilie1200]

But I did give him pos rep on his "post".

NOW I love you...

(But I don't see any rep.)

LOL! You guys are funny. But don't ever laugh in bed because someone might take it the wrong way.

How do you not laugh in bed at least occasionally? I mean, when you think about it, sex is actually kinda silly-looking. And it just provides so many opportunities for X-rated "America's Funniest Home Videos" moments.

 

[Amanda]

I will say, however, that even with a person you love and are crazy about, there can be times when it's a duty. It's not that you don't love the person, it's not that the sex isn't great, it's that it's been going on for 45 minutes now, and can't he freaking GET IT OVER WITH???

Not that I've had personal experiences here or anything.

Oh god I have and it sucks. I usually just fake to give him that ego bump so he can go. Either that or I'll just climb off and take care of him another way... I got mad skillz.

 

[Andrew2382]

I will say, however, that even with a person you love and are crazy about, there can be times when it's a duty. It's not that you don't love the person, it's not that the sex isn't great, it's that it's been going on for 45 minutes now, and can't he freaking GET IT OVER WITH???

Not that I've had personal experiences here or anything.

Oh god I have and it sucks. I usually just fake to give him that ego bump so he can go. Either that or I'll just climb off and take care of him another way... I got mad skillz.

lol, I love when I was dating and slept with girls I didn't care about how they thought I actually cared if they got off or not.

If I cared about you, it's one thing, if you meant nothing to me...lol you could have went on fire after I was done and I may not have woken up

 

[Amanda]

I will say, however, that even with a person you love and are crazy about, there can be times when it's a duty. It's not that you don't love the person, it's not that the sex isn't great, it's that it's been going on for 45 minutes now, and can't he freaking GET IT OVER WITH???

Not that I've had personal experiences here or anything.

Oh god I have and it sucks. I usually just fake to give him that ego bump so he can go. Either that or I'll just climb off and take care of him another way... I got mad skillz.

lol, I love when I was dating and slept with girls I didn't care about how they thought I actually cared if they got off or not.

If I cared about you, it's one thing, if you meant nothing to me...lol you could have went on fire after I was done and I may not have woken up

It's good you don't feel bad about it, most guys are pretty lousy lays so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it.

 

[Andrew2382]

Oh god I have and it sucks. I usually just fake to give him that ego bump so he can go. Either that or I'll just climb off and take care of him another way... I got mad skillz.

lol, I love when I was dating and slept with girls I didn't care about how they thought I actually cared if they got off or not.

If I cared about you, it's one thing, if you meant nothing to me...lol you could have went on fire after I was done and I may not have woken up

It's good you don't feel bad about it, most guys are pretty lousy lays so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it.

I won't

 

[Arthur]

Call someone else.

 

[auditor0007]

Here on the forum? TMI Alert!

seriously---can't you women take this to your hidden 'female only' forum ?

Don't tell me you're not titillated by all this sex talk?

I think we should have a "Best Places and Best Positions" thread.

 

[Arthur]

Kitchen counter.

 

[Amanda]

Kitchen counter.

That's hot.

 

[Luissa]

seriously---can't you women take this to your hidden 'female only' forum ?

Don't tell me you're not titillated by all this sex talk?

I think we should have a "Best Places and Best Positions" thread.

clock tower!

 

[Amanda]

Don't tell me you're not titillated by all this sex talk?

I think we should have a "Best Places and Best Positions" thread.

clock tower!

That;s kinda weird.

 

[Dr. T. Sanchez]

Go see the Rape thread. No woman "deserves" it.