What is a friend?

[Jackson]

A friend, to me, is someone who is there for you when they feel you are trying to succeed in something they may or may not, have any interest in. But they want to help when they can, and this friend could be a family member or a very special person who would be there to help you, not "IF" they can, but when you need them. They will put your needs before theirs, if necessary.

It is imperative, for me, to be the same kind of friend to them and that is why I choose only one or two, to call a friend. I think that makes me quite rich.

Acquaintances are usually fair-weather people with whom you might share mutual beliefs and ambitions, but cannot be depended upon to assist. Which is why my favorite quote of all time is, "Never assume anything." And my second fave is, "When in doubt, don't." And my third...."A friend to all, is a friend to none." ---Aristotle

But this familiar quote cannot be surpassed in my mind, relative to friendship: "A friend in need, is a friend, indeed." And I have one here.

i agree.... friends are there at your very worst, and when you need them and not just when THEY are available. I call them bad time friends...because they are there for all the bad times not just the good times. I expect friends to do the best they can... not the least they can.

my brother was moving and had a broken leg..... and we said we would be there to help. We got there and..... we were the ONLY ones there to help him. Not one of this many friends showed up. He learned something that day.

That IS how I perceive you, syrenn.

When our mother died, I sent my brother a sympathy card. He said nothing had meant so much to him in our time of sorrow. That gesture made two people feel love and friendship.

As asaratis said, having more than one true friend is lucky for it is loving someone as it is caring for yourself. Never a cross word, standing up for that person, forgiving and sharing the greatest times and the most devastating ones as well.

You can just be yourself with your true friend and you will always know that is acceptable because that person cares for you as much as you care for them. A true bond.

 

[strollingbones]

i have a great friend ..she was taking that chantal to quit smoking....we ask her about her dreams....there were a few close lady friends...and she reveals...she had a dream where she had sex with creature (<----trying hard not to violate rules here)....my reaction to my close friend was quick...."i dont think we should tell anyone else this" lol....to this day we give her hell about that confession ...but it has never moved from the ladies that were told...

for some reason....i am like the sin eater of the group....and have several requests for....if i die....bones how about getting to the house and removing....(fill in the blank) before the family can find it....seems i am to inherit sex toys....lots of them...and some interesting papers...

 

[strollingbones]

i do not understand the concept of journals...why keep one if you just want it destroyed at your death?

 

[syrenn]

i have a great friend ..she was taking that chantal to quit smoking....we ask her about her dreams....there were a few close lady friends...and she reveals...she had a dream where she had sex with creature (<----trying hard not to violate rules here)....my reaction to my close friend was quick...."i dont think we should tell anyone else this" lol....to this day we give her hell about that confession ...but it has never moved from the ladies that were told...

for some reason....i am like the sin eater of the group....and have several requests for....if i die....bones how about getting to the house and removing....(fill in the blank) before the family can find it....seems i am to inherit sex toys....lots of them...and some interesting papers...

ok... that is pretty darn funny bones.......

 

[strollingbones]

i ask why they are trusting me with this....and the answer is quick.....i have a good memory and wont write it down...i am not too judgemental....the journals always interest me....hell makes me wish a few were dead.....lol i want to see what is in those journals...but alas.....my eyes are blinded by my vow...but the inner voice argues..they are dead who cares?

 

[syrenn]

i ask why they are trusting me with this....and the answer is quick.....i have a good memory and wont write it down...i am not too judgemental....the journals always interest me....hell makes me wish a few were dead.....lol i want to see what is in those journals...but alas.....my eyes are blinded by my vow...but the inner voice argues..they are dead who cares?

Hard copy....is a very bad thing!

 

[strollingbones]

no shit...i mean one lady......i got to figure her diaries...she has kept them as long as i have known her....over 35 years...will reveal the true father of her first child...i got to get to those before the 'father's' current wife can....she will reveal in a heartbeat...

 

[strollingbones]

am i the only one that sees the irony...they trust me due to me not keeping written notes on anything..hell i hate grocery lists....but what they all want most of all ...are their journals kept secret and destroyed or given to someone...and that someone is never the kids

 

[Derideo_Te]

no shit...i mean one lady......i got to figure her diaries...she has kept them as long as i have known her....over 35 years...will reveal the true father of her first child...i got to get to those before the 'father's' current wife can....she will reveal in a heartbeat...

https://www.23andme.com/

https://www.23andme.com/ancestry/

Keeping a secret like that is no longer as easy as it once was.

 

[strollingbones]

o its common knowing...all you have to do is look at the two kids...and the father....one is his...one is not....but the true father...there is the question...narrowed to two men...there are no secrets in a small town...

 

[Michelle420]

I think that if you go through life and have just one really good and true friend, you're lucky. If you have two, you're blessed. If you have three or more, you're rare.

Acquaintances and friends are not the same. People that want to be around you because you're powerful or wealthy or outright cool or just have a lot of cool stuff are merely acquaintances pretending to be friends...most of them are users. That's not to say that a rich person can't have poor friends.

My favorite people to be around are the unpretentious, non-wealthy, hard working, straight talking, unpainted, honest folk that rejoice in what they have rather than lament over what they do not....the kind whose laughter is sincere and spontaneous...the kind with whom you don't have to start over getting familiar with after a long separation...the kind that can be with you for hours, say nothing and yet be perfectly at ease with the lack of conversation...

People that will stay around for you when you're broke or sick or somehow have lost your coolness are your friends. I count people like that on one hand.

So, you have my disconnected definition of a friend...what is yours?

I don't have a lot of friends, more like acquaintances. But some of them I thought I was closer to. I was really surprised that when My sister committed suicide this past June some of the people I thought I was close to didn't even give me condolences but people online who are total strangers sent me PM's and very helpful thoughts and ideas to help me cope.

I think I have more friends online then I do offline.

 

[AquaAthena]

I think that if you go through life and have just one really good and true friend, you're lucky. If you have two, you're blessed. If you have three or more, you're rare.

Acquaintances and friends are not the same. People that want to be around you because you're powerful or wealthy or outright cool or just have a lot of cool stuff are merely acquaintances pretending to be friends...most of them are users. That's not to say that a rich person can't have poor friends.

My favorite people to be around are the unpretentious, non-wealthy, hard working, straight talking, unpainted, honest folk that rejoice in what they have rather than lament over what they do not....the kind whose laughter is sincere and spontaneous...the kind with whom you don't have to start over getting familiar with after a long separation...the kind that can be with you for hours, say nothing and yet be perfectly at ease with the lack of conversation...

People that will stay around for you when you're broke or sick or somehow have lost your coolness are your friends. I count people like that on one hand.

So, you have my disconnected definition of a friend...what is yours?

I don't have a lot of friends, more like acquaintances. But some of them I thought I was closer to. I was really surprised that when My sister committed suicide this past June some of the people I thought I was close to didn't even give me condolences but people online who are total strangers sent me PM's and very helpful thoughts and ideas to help me cope.

I think I have more friends online then I do offline.

I think many of us have experienced that awful revelation, where those we thought were friends, turned out not to be. It is almost as heartbreaking as the the event that occurred, when we needed them and thought they would be there, for us. It was a good life lesson. I learned to lower my expectations, so there won't be a repeat.

I am very sorry for your loss, drifter, as I am sure the suicide of a loved one, would be one of the hardest despairs to live with, and recover from, if ever. (((d)))

 

[Ropey]

True friends stab you in the front!

What?

No?

I often use that quote by Oscar Wilde, too. "A friend will stab you in the front." It takes ppl a bit to get it, if they do. I often have to explain..lol

I am a huge fan of anything Oscar Wilde. ( even IF he was a socialist )

Yes, I've had to remove a few backstabbers in my lifetime.

imho?

It's not easy to find a friend willing to stab me in from the front. I've found 'friend's willing to stab me in the back far more often.

So, the 'friends' who stab from the front, they're rather an anomaly.

But this is a political forum and in politics, anything is possible.

 

[Darkwind]

Someday, I may run across an person like that.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

I think that if you go through life and have just one really good and true friend, you're lucky. If you have two, you're blessed. If you have three or more, you're rare.

Acquaintances and friends are not the same. People that want to be around you because you're powerful or wealthy or outright cool or just have a lot of cool stuff are merely acquaintances pretending to be friends...most of them are users. That's not to say that a rich person can't have poor friends.

My favorite people to be around are the unpretentious, non-wealthy, hard working, straight talking, unpainted, honest folk that rejoice in what they have rather than lament over what they do not....the kind whose laughter is sincere and spontaneous...the kind with whom you don't have to start over getting familiar with after a long separation...the kind that can be with you for hours, say nothing and yet be perfectly at ease with the lack of conversation...

People that will stay around for you when you're broke or sick or somehow have lost your coolness are your friends. I count people like that on one hand.

So, you have my disconnected definition of a friend...what is yours?

My definition of a friend is Jesus Christ. He sets the standard for what a friend is. There is no greater example of what it is to be a friend then when I look at how Jesus approached people and treated them. He had great compassion on the multitudes and the sinners.

While Jesus did call his own disciples friend, he also called Judas a friend. Yes, he called Judas friend when he came to assist in the Lord's arrest- the one who kissed him on the cheek and betrayed him. ( Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: The one I kiss is the man - arrest him. Matt 26:48) Jesus did ask them, Am I leading a rebellion that you should come with swords and clubs?

I believe when Judas realized the horror of what he had done - his betrayal of Jesus Christ - the Son of God ( his only true friend ) this was what led to him taking his own life.

If Jesus is our friend we have more than enough to keep us in perfect peace but without him? All the friends in the world shall avail us nothing. Truly, our only friends are those we find in God. He arranges those divine meetings for us and how blessed we are to have them. A friend loveth at all times....... - Jeri

 

[Derideo_Te]

I think that if you go through life and have just one really good and true friend, you're lucky. If you have two, you're blessed. If you have three or more, you're rare.

Acquaintances and friends are not the same. People that want to be around you because you're powerful or wealthy or outright cool or just have a lot of cool stuff are merely acquaintances pretending to be friends...most of them are users. That's not to say that a rich person can't have poor friends.

My favorite people to be around are the unpretentious, non-wealthy, hard working, straight talking, unpainted, honest folk that rejoice in what they have rather than lament over what they do not....the kind whose laughter is sincere and spontaneous...the kind with whom you don't have to start over getting familiar with after a long separation...the kind that can be with you for hours, say nothing and yet be perfectly at ease with the lack of conversation...

People that will stay around for you when you're broke or sick or somehow have lost your coolness are your friends. I count people like that on one hand.

So, you have my disconnected definition of a friend...what is yours?

I don't have a lot of friends, more like acquaintances. But some of them I thought I was closer to. I was really surprised that when My sister committed suicide this past June some of the people I thought I was close to didn't even give me condolences but people online who are total strangers sent me PM's and very helpful thoughts and ideas to help me cope.

I think I have more friends online then I do offline.

My condolences on the loss of your sister. Are you coping or do you still need support? Sometimes there is a delayed onset of emotion when it comes to the loss of a close relative. It is also one of the most stressful events anyone can have. Please feel free to reach out if you find yourself lost and don't know where to turn.

Take care
DT

 

[Michelle420]

I think that if you go through life and have just one really good and true friend, you're lucky. If you have two, you're blessed. If you have three or more, you're rare.

Acquaintances and friends are not the same. People that want to be around you because you're powerful or wealthy or outright cool or just have a lot of cool stuff are merely acquaintances pretending to be friends...most of them are users. That's not to say that a rich person can't have poor friends.

My favorite people to be around are the unpretentious, non-wealthy, hard working, straight talking, unpainted, honest folk that rejoice in what they have rather than lament over what they do not....the kind whose laughter is sincere and spontaneous...the kind with whom you don't have to start over getting familiar with after a long separation...the kind that can be with you for hours, say nothing and yet be perfectly at ease with the lack of conversation...

People that will stay around for you when you're broke or sick or somehow have lost your coolness are your friends. I count people like that on one hand.

So, you have my disconnected definition of a friend...what is yours?

I don't have a lot of friends, more like acquaintances. But some of them I thought I was closer to. I was really surprised that when My sister committed suicide this past June some of the people I thought I was close to didn't even give me condolences but people online who are total strangers sent me PM's and very helpful thoughts and ideas to help me cope.

I think I have more friends online then I do offline.

My condolences on the loss of your sister. Are you coping or do you still need support? Sometimes there is a delayed onset of emotion when it comes to the loss of a close relative. It is also one of the most stressful events anyone can have. Please feel free to reach out if you find yourself lost and don't know where to turn.

Take care
DT

Thanks, there has been some great people at this board who have PMed and it was helpful.

Plus I went to a therapist to talk about it to.

I had three deaths this past year in my family, My cousin in oct 2012, my dad jan 2013 and my sister june 2013.

But my sister was the hardest one because it was suicide and because I have a lot of guilt that I wasn't there for her.

People always say things about the internet like it's not real life but I have found people online to be more real and kind and compassionate then those offline.

Sometime people online can be more cruel to, but in the instance of the deaths I've had, people online by far have been much more compassionate then offline.

It's really been an eye-opener to me.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

True friends stab you in the front!

What?

No?

I often use that quote by Oscar Wilde, too. "A friend will stab you in the front." It takes ppl a bit to get it, if they do. I often have to explain..lol

I am a huge fan of anything Oscar Wilde. ( even IF he was a socialist )

Yes, I've had to remove a few backstabbers in my lifetime.

imho?

It's not easy to find a friend willing to stab me in from the front. I've found 'friend's willing to stab me in the back far more often.

So, the 'friends' who stab from the front, they're rather an anomaly.

But this is a political forum and in politics, anything is possible.

I'm not sure what happened to some on this board in the past but truth does feel like a knife also - so if the knife was a friend speaking truth privately to such a one that would not be a betrayal but rather an open act of love - so long as it was done in love and not as an attack -

the proverb that came to my mind was : Better is open rebuke than hidden love.. - Prov. 27:5 which means truth is a greater act of love than not speaking truth and therein hiding their love away from the person.. that is not love..that is self preservation and it is selfish. Iron sharpens iron.. a true friend speaks truth because love speaks truth and is truth..

 

[boedicca]

A true friend is really there, regardless.

 

[Michelle420]

I think that if you go through life and have just one really good and true friend, you're lucky. If you have two, you're blessed. If you have three or more, you're rare.

Acquaintances and friends are not the same. People that want to be around you because you're powerful or wealthy or outright cool or just have a lot of cool stuff are merely acquaintances pretending to be friends...most of them are users. That's not to say that a rich person can't have poor friends.

My favorite people to be around are the unpretentious, non-wealthy, hard working, straight talking, unpainted, honest folk that rejoice in what they have rather than lament over what they do not....the kind whose laughter is sincere and spontaneous...the kind with whom you don't have to start over getting familiar with after a long separation...the kind that can be with you for hours, say nothing and yet be perfectly at ease with the lack of conversation...

People that will stay around for you when you're broke or sick or somehow have lost your coolness are your friends. I count people like that on one hand.

So, you have my disconnected definition of a friend...what is yours?

I don't have a lot of friends, more like acquaintances. But some of them I thought I was closer to. I was really surprised that when My sister committed suicide this past June some of the people I thought I was close to didn't even give me condolences but people online who are total strangers sent me PM's and very helpful thoughts and ideas to help me cope.

I think I have more friends online then I do offline.

I think many of us have experienced that awful revelation, where those we thought were friends, turned out not to be. It is almost as heartbreaking as the the event that occurred, when we needed them and thought they would be there, for us. It was a good life lesson. I learned to lower my expectations, so there won't be a repeat.

I am very sorry for your loss, drifter, as I am sure the suicide of a loved one, would be one of the hardest despairs to live with, and recover from, if ever. (((d)))

It was really surprising to me. Some people have avoided me like it's contagious that my sister died.

It's just weird.