So, I finally ended my friendship with a toxic friend

[Lovebears65]

We were supposed to be best friends but she showed her true colors when my brother killed himself. She not once called to see how I was, or show me any type of support. I have been there for her anytime she needed something.If the kids needed clothes and she did not have money I bought her kids clothes, I got her food. Paid her rent so they had a roof over their head. But the ONE time I needed her she was not there.. She also is really into drugs I just found this out so when I found out that plus the thing with my brother I said it is TIME to end this friendship. She is going to be shocked when she reads her PM on facebook this morning. I already un friend her , told her to no longer to call or text me. Its over . My family is happy. She really was not a good friend all along and they thought she used me . Used her kids to get money from me... I feel so much better. On a good note> I text her ex husband and he said I can see the kids anytime I want. They call me Nanny so I am the only grandmother figure in their lives.. He ex said i wonder when you would do this. It was a long time coming so I have his support..

 

[lizzie]

I don't know you, nor her, but in her defense, with the issue of your loss, it is common for people not to call when you've lost someone. They don't know what to say, and the circumstances make them uncomfortable. I lost my husband a few months ago, and I experienced the same thing. Some people are just at a loss for words, and they are afraid that saying something may open wounds back up to bleed, so they just avoid having that conversation. It's a normal response. I have one person (a man who was good friends with my husband) who comes by every week or two, just to say hi and visit for awhile. He's the exception to the rule, though.

As for your friendship, you are the only one who really knows how you need to handle it. Best wishes.

 

[jan]

None of us have so many friends that we can afford to lose one...but sometimes it becomes clear that it's time to move on. :shrug:

It's been my personal experience that friends seem to be a rather fluid commodity. They flow in and they flow out...nothing is forever...nothing is permanent. People change over time...and so they should! To do otherwise would be stagnation.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

Something I tell my kids, works for both friendships and especially relationships.
Every so often people should take stock in who they associate themselves with.
When thinking on a friendship or relationship - who is benefiting from it?
In any relationship, both parties should be benefiting from the other. Friendship is not a one way street.

 

[Wolfsister77]

There's an expression by Bob Marley that fits in well with most friendships and relationships.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." ~Bob Marley

 

[Lovebears65]

This is a long time coming. My brother thing was the straw that broke the camels back. Plus I found out she is really into drugs recently. I mean she snorted something right in front of me.. I was shocked. That too was a reason for my decision. I dont want to be around that. She also got a boob job while she was about to lose her house and her kids had no food to eat

 

[007]

None of us have so many friends that we can afford to lose one...but sometimes it becomes clear that it's time to move on. :shrug:

It's been my personal experience that friends seem to be a rather fluid commodity. They flow in and they flow out...nothing is forever...nothing is permanent. People change over time...and so they should! To do otherwise would be stagnation.

I beg to differ. I moved around a LOT in my life, over 50 times. I made friends everywhere I went, good friends. But the best friends I have are the ones I met when I was very young. I have several friends that I've known since the time my memory can recall, and they are some of my very best friends. There is something very comforting about knowing someone very well. You don't have to guess what they're going to do or say next, and they don't have to guess what you are going to do or say next, you can always rely on them and them you, and to top that off, if you've been friends with them for that long, you probably have a lot in common. So contrary to how you feel, I feel those kinds of friends are worth their weight in gold.